The collected musings of Ryan Elder

How about another scenario - a male officer infiltrates the gang and obtains a stash of evidence (trophies such as items belonging to the victims, locks of hair, etc), but he is discovered. He then becomes their next target.

After alerting his allies in the force, he must run for his life while his hunters are being chased down by the protagonist(s). The gang doesn't know he got the word out, and intend to kill the snitch.

The infiltrator is mortally wounded by the time the gang is apprehended, and you can decide whether he lives or dies.

 

Okay thanks. Actually this does happen earlier on in my story, or it's similar. The difference is, is that the cop is a corrupt cop, who is part of the gang, but wants to leave once they found out that they have gone too far for him, and he becomes morally conflicted. He tries to get evidence out to the authorities, but does not tell them he has a past with the gang, because he wants to bring in proof first. But the gang kills him before he can get the proof out, so the rest of the police do not know about the evidence.

Other police do want to avenge their fallen officer though, which plays into wanting to catch them more for the end. But that similar scenario already happens earlier. Perhaps the police can find something though that will not really prove who the gang is, but will give away where they can be found or something for the finale.

I was thinking that maybe the MC, can make the villains believe that the dead cop is still alive, in order to trap the villains. After the villains are trapped, the other cops want to kill them out of what they did to their ally.

But is it possible to fool a gang, by making them believe a person is still alive when he's dead? I mean the media would probably put in the newspapers. The MC has a gf who is in the media, but she probably cannot control everything.

But they would still have to make the gang believe he is alive and draw them in by pretending to be a dead man, like by sending text messages from the dead guys phone, and the gang is not going to fall for that probably, since they cannot hear his voice. So that idea probably will not work.

But I don't know if it's that strong because the police are not using the villains theme against them to bring them down, which I thought would be stronger to the reader for their downfall.

 

If only 1 gang member saw the corrupt cop die, the other cops could release a false press statement saying he was close to death but is recovering in hospital.

The rest of the gang would turn on the one who saw the cop die (he's telling the truth, but the body was recovered before he could take anything to prove it to the rest of the gang). He then faces a dilemma - die a painful death the hands of the gang, or end up on death row (I'm assuming this is set in the USA, correct me if I'm wrong).

The lack of a voice on the phone could work if the cop was shot in the throat, forcing him not to speak while he recovers from his injuries. That would be the case if he had survived, making it believable to the gang.

The vengeful cops could then take in the lone gang member, secretly using him as bait for the rest of the gang. They let him die at the hands of his former associates and are about to massacre the trapped gang when those left in the force who haven't been corrupted by a lust for revenge turn up, resulting in a three-way standoff between the gang and the two factions in the divided police force.

The gang wants out, but would rather be taken in than gunned down.
The vengeful cops just want the killing to stop, and are willing to take the rap for being judge, jury and executioner.
The cops with integrity want to bring in the gang to make sure they answer for their crimes. They don't want to see their colleagues on trial - besides being friends, the city is on a knife edge as it is, and they need all the manpower they can get.

Just as the good cops are about to reveal that they found the dead cop's stash of evidence from clues he left behind, a gang member snaps and shoots at them. This prompts the angry cops to open fire on the gang, with both groups annihilating each other. The good cops then turn the tide, not wanting to see their former allies dead too.

 

Oh okay. Why would the gang want to kill the one gang member who saw the cop die though? What would that gang member have done wrong?

I was thinking the same thing, that a cop could pretend to be the dead cop, but speak with a voice injury. However, the method the cops were going to use to flush the gang out while pretending to be the dead cop. But if that cop is in the hospital on a voice injury, what could he say to the gang that would flush them out, since he is in the hospital and is of no use to the gang as a mole anymore? What could he say to flush them out, if he is in the hospital and wouldn't know anything that is going on with the case at the moment?

I still don't get why the gang would kill the lone gang member. What did that gang member do to deserve that? It sounds like a good similar idea to what I had before, but with this new lone gang member that the gang wants to kill now. Why do they want to kill him? Just because he mistakenly thought a cop was dead, and he wasn't?

 

The rest of the gang might think the one who saw the cop die was lying to them and didn't finish the job. Because of him, their entire operation will unravel when the cop they were told died leads the rest of the cops to the evidence he stored in a secret location.

 

Okay thanks. I wanted to have the cop actually die though, so the other cops would avenge him. But if he is still alive and leads the others to the operation, doesn't that cancel it out?

 

While working for the gang, you could have the cop stash some evidence that would incriminate the gang. He's unable to get it out from where it is on his own, but it's hidden from the gang. His treachery is discovered by one gang member, who chases him down when he's not armed and shoots him in the throat. He then shoots the downed officer in the heart and checks his pulse. The man's dead.

Hearing gun shots, two armed cops arrive, but the gunman gets away with a notebook from the cop's shirt pocket. The police recover the body and release a press statement saying he's alive and they'll have all the evidence they need when he's well enough to tell them. This is merely a scare tactic, but it works.

The rest of the gang turn on the one who saw the cop die, blaming him for the imminent end of their spree.

Some of the cops (more than half the force) vow to destroy the gang. When one man hands himself in to save himself, the vengeful cops use him as bait.

Meanwhile, the rest of cops find a scrunched up piece of paper in the dead cop's fist, with details leading them to the evidence.

That's how I'd end it, but it's your story, so make as many changes as you need.

 

Okay thanks. This is very similar to an ending I came up with before, but the scrunched piece of paper was not in the hand. Thanks for the idea though, it inspires me to use it, and it's very similar. I didn't think that the police would have enough control over the media for it to be believable though.

Also I do not see the whole gang wanting to kill one member, just because he thought someone was dead, when he was alive. I mean it's an honest mistake right? And a lot of times gangs consider themselves quite loyal to each other. It just seems really emotionally unstable for them to want to kill him for an oversight, when the gang has been smart and stable all along, so can it come off as inconsistent?

Like maybe if the gang had reason to believe that the gang members mistake was intentional rather than accidental, but then I have to have a motive for it to be intentional, when the cop is already almost dead at the time.

As for the how the villains are brought down, it feels like something is missing still. I wanted the villains to be brought down by their own theme, since in stories where that happens, it just feels more powerful and dramatic when their own theme is used against them. Sometimes it makes the villains more empathetic in the end. But is bringing the villain down, or finding the villain by mere evidence, just as deep to readers, as using their own theme against them?

 

The one guy could have messed up before, and this was his last chance. Give him a history of failures, and there'll be a reason for the rest of the gang to dislike him.

Please elaborate again, what is the theme used by the gang? I know you mentioned that the gang goes after bullying types, but bullies rarely murder; their actions are more likely to incite suicide.

 

Well there is one particular member of the gang who almost got them caught before, but it was a near miss, but her reckless behavior for her own gang, was frustrating for them. Is that enough? Also it feels like maybe it might be less challenging for the main cop, the MC, because by having this female member to be used as bait, maybe she can be seen, not quite as a deux ex machina, but someone who is conveniently to put use for the MC, just at the right time. The cops would have to find out that the gang turned on her though somehow, and that she specifically, was the one who told them that the other cop was dead.

Well the gang wanting social change in the bullying and persecution area of society, is what their theme is. So if I can somehow use that theme, to be there own downfall, I thought it would be more deep and dramatic for the reader, rather than a character being used as bait, or finding evidence, etc.

 

I have yet to understand how kidnapping, rape, and murder are supposed to fix bullying.

 

The woman fleeing the gang could come to the cops for help, but not the main character.
The MC obtains the note in the clenched fist of the dead cop.

As for the cops using the gang's theme against them - I've got nothing, sorry. I hope the answer comes to you.

 

Okay thanks. I might go with that idea. Thank you. However, if they use the member who go to the cops for help, and the cops use her as bait, in order to kill the other members out of revenge, would the notebook, and the piece of paper in the hand, be necessary?

 

The cop knows he's not going to survive, so he hides the page he's written on in his hand while he's running. The reader only needs to know that he rips a page from the book before slipping it back into his pocket.

After she kills him, the woman takes the notebook from his pocket and gives it to the gang, who burn it.

The cops find the body, but a rogue element in the force releases the press statement saying the cop survived in the hope that the gang will make a mistake. They succeed when the woman, who is on the run from the gang, comes to them for help.
The cops then plan to use her as bait for the rest of the gang. The gang could have a man in the witness protection program - the woman tells the cops who he is, and they leak the information to him.
The corrupt witness protection program guy would then tell the gang where she is, unwittingly setting the trap.

Meanwhile, the MC is searching through the dead cop's belongings after his postmortem. The MC finds the paper with an address on it in an evidence bag. He returns to the station, but finds it relatively empty. He asks where everyone is, and a cop who wasn't in on the other cops' plan helps him to piece their plan together.
They realise what a terrible mistake their colleagues are going to make, and they head to the woman's location to stop the massacre.

The MC is too late to save her, but manages to create the stand-off scenario.

Unless I've misinterpreted the MC's personality, and HE is one of the cops leading the plan. In this case, I have a slightly different ending in mind.

 

Oh okay, so you are saying they find evidence to convict the gang, but by then it's too late because the revenge has already taken place? Is that what you mean?

This is actually similar to the ending I had originally. In the original ending, the leader of the gang does not want vengeful cops after him so he turns himself in, cause he would rather prefer jail, then death, but before the MC can get him into protection, the other cops waist the gang, because they believe that the leader will likely retract his offer.

 

That's what I mean.

When the gang boss figures out it's a trap, he could plead with the vengeful cops. This opens up one of two possibilities:

1: The rest of the gang, thinking their leader has gone soft, gun him down knowing they have no way out and they don't want him abandoning them to save himself.

2: The vengeful cops shoot him after making him beg for mercy.

 

oh okay. The way I had it before was that the gang used him as bait, so when the rest of the gang came to kill the leader, the cops kill the rest of the gang members, but the leader survives and lives in shame after.

Do you think that the police could actually control the media, when an officer is gunned down though? They would have to think of the idea right away.

 

If the media never sees the body and the feelings of vengeance go high enough up the ranks of the police, then they could pull it off.

Of course, the MC would see or hear of the "survival" of the dead cop in the news, investigate, and discover the ruse. If he's taken off the case for disagreeing with the plan, he would start looking for evidence - beginning with the body, which is how he finds the note. He wouldn't try to warn the gang because they'd kill him on sight.

In the standoff, you could have the leader plead for mercy, get shot (but not fatally) by another gang member, then the gang and cops go up against each other all guns blazing.
The leader would then survive to live in shame.

 

Okay thanks. I don't think that the piece of paper will be necessary to the story though, if the leader is already willing to turn himself in as evidence though. Perhaps the leader could bring the evidence fourth. But it's too late for him and the revenge is taken either way. Does that sound like it works too? I was told by another writer though, that it would be unrealistic for the leader to turn himself in, and the leader would rather kill the vengeful cops, then turn himself in to avoid being killed by them. Is that true, and it doesn't make sense of him to do that?

 

The leader might turn himself in as a last resort, appealing to the vengeful cops' sense of professionalism. He could drop his gun, knowing that cops shouldn't shoot an unarmed man.

One of the cops then shoots him in the head at point blank range, completely abandoning the rules before asking "Who's next?". The full blown shootout then starts.

It is possible to survive a head shot, depending on which parts of the brain are left undamaged, so the leader could be found to be alive by the clean-up crew and protected by the good cops, doomed to live the rest of his life with some sort of debilitating neurological disorder.

 

This is how my original ending went sort of. However, I need the cops to find the gang first, and will keep thinking on that.

 

Okay thanks. When creating an extra to help move the plot along, what if that character needed a special skill to help move the plot along without being forced. For example, for the story I am working now, I want a character to have certain ties to certain people. But I also want that character to be an expert computer hacker for when the time is needed. That character might also have to be an expert safe cracker for later on too. But the MC cannot have all these special qualities himself. He has to know people who can help him along the way. People who have these skills and connections. I can either create three characters, all having one of those qualities, each. Or I can create one character, with all three qualities. What's more natural? The MC knowing one person with many skills and connections he can get to help him? Or knowing three people, all who each have one quality? I am guessing that it's more likely the MC would know one special person that can help, rather than three, which is too easy, right?

 

Your situation is a bit different than what I originally was thinking about. In real life we do happen upon people that influence us in some way and are forever out of the picture, so I see no wrong in introducing a new character if it really fits in to the story sort of like jannert and link the writer have mentioned.

For your situation you might solve the problem by having the MC do some research and figure out how to crack the safe. In today's news here, a guy broke into a cellphone store through the A/C vents, drilled the hinges of a safe to remove the hinge pins and then was able to open the safe. He put the pins back in place and it didn't even appear that the safe had been tampered with. Obviously this thief knew what kind of safe he was breaking into and found a weakness to exploit, apparently he didn't know or care about the surveillance cameras however.

I think finding three people to solve three different difficult problems is more likely than a "Jack of all trades, (master of none)", but I can see for a screenplay too many characters is an issue.

 

I think it's good to have an understanding of the processes that go into the end results but as for going into extensive detail I don't think that is necessary. As long as you know that what you are describing is actually possible in reality and not too farfetched then I as a reader would just accept the facts of the situation without any skepticism.

It's when people do no research at all and include details purporting to be scientific that problems occur (like glow in the dark semen and instant DNA results)

 

I would be disappointed with 'he hacked into the man's banking records'. On the other hand, I really roll my eyes whenever I see someone trying three obvious passwords and correctly guessing it on the third try. It doesn't take a lot of detail to do a better job. Does the evil person have physical access to the victim's computer? If so, a keylogger could be mentioned, and then full access to bank accounts and the victim's accounts on speciality porn sites.