The Happiness Thread

My roommate is gone. Now I can walk around my apartment naked again!

 

I was going to like that post until I got to the second sentence.

 

Someone was getting rid of some roses and now I have a gorgeous centerpiece for my table. Yay for windfalls. =)

 

Oh, come on. Who cares about naked? You can walk around in your oversized clown shoes, Guy Fawkes mask, leopard-skin thong, polka-dot bowler hat, and bat wings, like we all know you really want to. (You still have all that stuff in your closet, right? Right?)

One thing, though: This time, remember to accessorize appropriately!

 

How do you know what is in my closet? I thought you've been out a long time!

 

Aha! So you're admitting you have all this in your closet! We knew it!

 

Well at least you didn't mention the penis pump. Oh crap I messed up again.

 

At least it's not a stomach pump.

 

All this talk about pumps makes me want to go shoe shopping!

 

Ok I'll go with you tomorrow as long as you shave your legs this time.

 

You're the one with the sideburns showing out of your short shorts, you wookie

 

Or that awkward moment when you realize that "Holy crap, if Luke and Leia are Vader's kids, then that means I'm related to Vader via marriage!"

or

"Holy crap, they were mouth-kissing on Hoth a few months ago."

 

You guys are coming up with nothing but amateur comebacks, you're all just a bunch of wookies.

 

Who ya callin' a Wookie, Fuzzy McFuzzball?

 

This is the happiness thread. They're happy wookies. You, on the other hand...

 

Get off my lawn before I get the hose!

 

You're going to launch a wave of skanks at them?

 

I thought he meant that, if we didn't get off his lawn, he'd appear before us wearing panty hose and scare us away. I didn't think he was going to hire some prostitutes to get rid of us. That really opens up the concept of the oldest profession, doesn't it?

 

So, my birthday's coming up and I decided to be crazy and booked a skydive. Please wish me luck and that I don't chicken out. This is probably the bravest thing I've ever done.

 

Good luck. You will never, ever catch me skydiving. I'm impressed with myself if I can muster the courage to step off a curb. I live in a bungalow for a good reason - no stairs. (That's not strictly true - I live in a bungalow, but not because there are no stairs. The no-stairs thing is a bonus, though.)

My birthday is coming up, too. I think I'll spend it writing if I can. And I won't cook that night.

 

Have fun, edamame!

 

Good luck, @edamame! And an early happy birthday to you as well. My birthday's coming up in three days. Unlike you, I'll be doing stuff closer to the earth's surface.

 

Spelunking?