The Happiness Thread

Oh, I was kinda kidding. I do think the story of a steer who wills his body to a slow cooker is more interesting than that of a regular steer. I mean, what kind of bovine religion would my steer have? It's almost inspiring to a writer. I'm just too lazy to write it.

 

Yeah, I assumed you were kidding about the steer willing his body to your slow cooker. I just didn't think you were kidding about the guilt. But if you're eating guilt-free, carry on!

 

I start orientation for a new job Tuesday.

 

You know that Beauregard is Jeff Sessions' middle name? Ewwww.....

 

I am not kidding: Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Third. He was born in 1946 Alabama. Soooo....

 

I could watch this all day.

 

Sorry, I thought you were annoyed that yo had to end up doing it in the end and were meaning to post in the other thread haha. My bad!

 

I think you're referencing "Meet the meat" from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

 

This week will drag but only because afterward I'm taking two and a half weeks off to go to England!!

I have taken only 2 days off in nearly 2 years (for a job that only closes for Christmas day) so to say a vacation is needed is an understatement!

 

Finally got the pay increase I've been waiting on for 6+ months!

 

Making slow progress with my story that's been locked up for almost 10 years

 

I think I'm getting married soon! Been engaged for a couple years now with no set date, mostly due to life taking some bad twists, but now we're getting serious about setting a date. It'll be sooner than later too, we've always been set on the idea of eloping, neither of us care to have family there for multiple reasons. All I know is I don't ever want to be without her, on some level I'm also worried about the marriage because I've heard of things going South afterwards, but we've been together long enough that I know the magic isn't just going to disappear either. We've seen each other at our best and our worst, and still manage to keep things together, so I doubt there will be anything we can't handle. Both of us just want a simple, cost effective wedding, maybe a few hundred bucks after renting clothes and some bubbly.

 

Everything sounds doable, but good luck with that part.

 

Awww. Congrats!

 

I know, right? We mostly just don't want to spend a bunch of money on it, and definitely not going into debt over it...

Thanks! XD

 

My anxiety is finally quashed, after taking over me for the past 5 hours. I'm finally relaxed and at peace.

 

Now I'm wondering, do you have an actual anxiety condition?

 

Yay! Congratulations.

I've heard of things going beautifully afterwards .

Don't mention the W word when making your arrangements, there seems to be a 'wedding' premium.

 

Haha, true enough, I suppose I can be a bit of a pessimist at times. I know things are great right now, so there really isn't a need to think they'll somehow get worse.

Yep, flowers that aren't for a wedding, $20 depending on the store and what you get. Same flowers that are for a wedding, $200 if you're lucky.

 

Yes, I have a mild to moderate case of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My brain constantly convinces me that anything that could go wrong will go wrong. It's always my fault. I'm a loser, a failure, pathetic piece of shit. I'm a horrible person. Everyone judges me poorly. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Oh, and it graces me with disturbing/frightening images in my head (say, a naked old guy in a clown wig) and calls me a disgusting pervert for having that image. THE SAME DAMNED IMAGE IT GAVE ME!!!

Hell, even now, a part of me almost went on a tirade on you. Why? Because when it's not telling me how horrible of a person I am, or gracing me with disturbing images, it gets me angry/vindictive at some random thing or person. Like you, my Aussie friend. :<

Really, I'm surprised I'm not an alcoholic by now. :/ In fact, when Trump was sworn in back in January, I damned near turned into one -- downing two bottles of Andygator a day. That shit has 8% alcohol content. 8% PERCENT!! Sometimes I would sneak in a third one, or a FOURTH!!

So yeah, them's the breaks, man. With meds, I can keep it under control and be in relative peace but hoo boy, when it decides to get out of control and take over? I have to make a concentrated effort to not publically freak out.

Know what my anxiety is telling me now? "Oscar's thinking you're a fake, a liar. A conman. He doesn't believe you. He probably thinks you don't really have anxiety since you're able to live a productive life."

 

Yeah, this is pretty much what anxiety does to a person. I have it too, and back when I wasn't taking meds or going to counselling, I was at least the definition of an alcoholic. Thankfully I have turned that around, a lot. It's still bad sometimes in my head, but at least I don't freak out as much anymore. I was drinking a lot back then, way more than this. I'd finish off a six pack of Golden Monkey at 9%, then have a few Lagunitas at 7.5% just to have something to sip on, and that was just in an evening. Imagine the crazy train I was on each day. I don't do that anymore, and I'm much happier for it. Having a panic attack while depressed from massive amounts of alcohol the previous night is not good, I don't recommend it.

Never had images of old guy's in clown wigs, but I didn't need to... My brain has plenty of stuff to throw at me as it is, mostly things I've done or said at some point that I'm ashamed of, or experiences I went through that freak me out. I still deal with really bad dreams too, don't even want to know...nightmares that also happen to be really, really bizarre. Can't say the symptoms go away entirely, but I found that therapy has helped me almost as much as the meds. It feels good to not be panicked constantly, and also not to be quite so depressed; I can go out and do stuff, and I don't freak out just because I'm leaving the house....

 

This is me, exactly. Now that I've stopped drinking, my anxiety is mostly under control, but oh boy does it like to barb me with bad memories of regret and shame. ;(

 

I know the feels, and I literally have to distract my mind from things in order to be okay. Writing has started to help too recently, that's partially why I got back into it...

If you ever need to talk, just send me a message, I'm a good listener so I'm told. I've also lived with the condition, whether I knew it or not, for almost thirty years now. It sucks really bad...

 

there's a few things i'm happy about (despite how much of a sh*t cart uni's been this year)

- own a PS4
- Have Skyrim Special Edition on said PS4
- my work that got accepted into the Ezine is now published (i'll share a link on my page)
- I'm at home for Easter
- I go to Budapest for 5 days on Monday
- i apparently look like i've lost weight despite still being about 8 stone overweight (yeah its a lot, however uni and my implant might not be helping that)

and
- my dad is finally climbing out the hole that has been making him depressed, and has something he's working on that he enjoys, and its nice to see him not grumpy!