The Happiness Thread

God jul to you too!

 

You're telling me man. She has always hated that I was friends (friends to read drinking buddies and co-party animals. Oh and I have some scars where she liked to bite me) with Charlotte before I met her. In eleven years they only met twice and briefly at that, but right from the start my ex didn't like that I was still friends with her. Charlotte's a pretty little thing but she's never been into me in the 16 years we've known each other which is actually why we've stayed friends so long.

And, as it turns out, no my ex definitively did not trust me. She didn't like that I had a night out with my male former housemate when I was in Belfast because I might meet women while doing it. There are sort of little things that you only notice at the end of a relationship, but the way that I couldn't ever leave the house for two minutes without her wanting to know in detail where I had been and what I had been doing; that was really not a positive sign for anything. When I went for away for work (which I did often, once a week on average) I got into the habit of snapchattinng her from shoots so that she wouldn't fret about what I was doing while I was away.

The things we do for love, amirite?

 

This mini-pool table is a blessing in disguise. My brain has been in overdrive for the past few years and who would have thought pool could be the game to slow it down. Makes sense though, as pool requires you to slow your brain down to make shots (similar to golf).

 

There's 4 inches of white Christmas outside, the yard and trees are gorgeous and I don't have to drive anywhere.

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

Exes? Man, I thought this was the happy thread!

My experience with them has been a 1/5 star-rating, at least. My philosophy is that they're called exes so you can cross them out and move on, but maybe I'm just a cold individual; the past should stay dead sometimes.

I still talk with one because she was very insistent on it, and I realized how much it would genuinely hurt her if I cut her out of my life. So there's that I guess. But we're not really friends.

 

They're exes because that's what I drew on the picture when I gave it to the hit man Not that I hold a grudge

 

Happy Christmas from North Yorkshire :/ xx

 

Surprised none of my exes have hired a hitman on me, honestly. Wonder if that story has been done... exes hiring hitmen on each other. Probably.

Merry Christmas from the Mitten.

 

I've certainly invested in some good locks...

 

Yeah man, don't date crazy!

 

You and me both. I swear she wasn't mental when we met. And that turned into... Jealousy and hitting and no sex ever. So... You know...

At least thus far I haven't made them crazy in the way I like

 

To be fair, most of my ex-girlfriends weren't crazy. I miss one of them particularly severely. But all it takes is one, does it not?

Everybody's got their own "crazy". However, if that "crazy" involves physical or emotional abuse, gaslighting, inability to communicate and resolve issues like an adult, well... Don't let the door bite you.

Hey, come on man. There's literally nothing better than intimacy that's about as balanced and consistent as a light-switch.

 

This is a lesson it took me eleven years to learn man. When you're in the thick of it it's very easy to just say it's a rough patch and it's not a big deal. And then you get out the door and realise they've been hitting you for years and they just won't let you have friends and it's all very... Uncomfortable.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. In one sense I've been fortunate enough to never experience physical abuse (here's me tying this into the "happy" part of the thread title), but I've certainly had my fair share of emotional abuse. Pick your poison.

Luckily I've had one good relationship, although from time to time it makes me bitter how rare they are. And that "good" relationship ended with her telling me that if I didn't start seeing her more that she'd cheat on me. What an ultimatum haha! I still miss her, even though I shouldn't. Quite the emotional conundrum.

 

For me I thought my last relationship was the good one, the proper one, the one that had at least lasted a long while. And then I got out the door and I saw just how fucking miserable I've been trying to look after someone who doesn't appreciate it, and as it turns out, kinda resents me for hanging around to look after her.

So, well, how we perceive things is a bit... Changeable.

 

Let me know when you're tired of living my life, doppelganger.

In the meantime, I'll keep drinking and writing. I think I'm over the ladies; there's always other avenues of satiation. Otherwise, got better things to do than waste my time being an emotional punching-bag and manipulated to feel as if I'm constantly losing my mind.

 

Immediately

I am looking forward to a nice, happy relationship in the new year with some semblance of a sex life and just being disgustingly happy

I have a good feeling for these things

 

Just don't lose faith like I have and you'll be fine, I'm sure. Treat it like minesweeper and stay away from the red flags.

 

I jest, of course @big soft moose. It is a relationship though. Just not a healthy one.

Semantics aside, unfortunately those kinds of relationships are more common than they should be. I've heard that's what makes finding the "right one" worth it, but I'm still waiting to see if that's the case.

 

Like I say man, I have a good sense about these things

As it turns out, no, it's really not a relationship. But we live and we learn eh? Or at least we live and we figure out how fucked everything was and how much it's fucked with me. But still moving on is the important part. No longer being stuck thinking I have to stay with her.

 

Finding the right one is still definitely worth it man. I will forever remain a hopeless romantic no matter what And, well, if you find the right one then... Who cares what it takes to get you there?

 

That's good!

I just don't like serving platitudes to people. Nothing personal. "You'll find the right one" grinds my gears, because it very well could be something I'll find myself saying to THE SAME PERSON 50 years down the road. I don't want to be a liar, and make promises that cannot be kept.

That being said, what I can say is that you're approaching it superbly, and cheers to you for that. As a general rule, if you lose hope then you basically guarantee you won't find somebody. Take that for what it's worth.

Still, thanks for the pep-talk. I mean that sincerely.

 

Finished that first draft. Cue the music!