The Happiness Thread

But it's cookies!

 

Just get out those booty shorts and go! The booty shorts will protect you from both heat and stink. Send a pic while you’re at it ...of the cookies I mean

 

Chocolate cake is ready for serving. Who wants some?

 

I'm 31 years old, and it's only now that I've worked out how to make friends...bake a cake!

 

Aww... can't we all just eat cake and get along? At least post a picture?
Cake diplomacy. Cake therapy.

 

I ate three of the sugar free cookies. They tasted great, but my inner dictator yelled at me and tomorrow, I'll be running six miles at dawn.

Still, cookies, benevolent dictator lord they tasted so good. O_O

 

If I can get the cable for the camera, I will share my next cake.

 

I wrote an entire short story, start to finish, today. Now it's time to edit the hell out of it and make it into a presentable piece so I don't have to feel embarrassed when I share it.

Side note: The story may have turned me into a hypochondriac.

 

I got my car back from the garage today. It has been broken since the 29:th of May. Almost 7 weeks. I am very happy now.

I have been forced to take my bike to work, a trip about ten miles back and forth. I have lost five pounds, and I have sleept so good each night. But still I have missed the old friend. I have had it for thirteen years, and she is seventeen now. Lots of personality.

 

Had a nice day at the park with my girlfriend today. Nothing really special or anything happened, just the fact that I got to spend time with her put me in a good mood.

 

Our old family cat vanished two days ago. He is a large cat, a ferocious hunter, and regularly kills a number of deadly snakes, rats and mice around the house. Around humans, he is a rag-doll. I love the split in his personality between ferocious hunter outdoors and pliant toy indoors, where he is carried around, poked and prodded by the kids.

He has a threshold phobia too, where he switches between kids' plaything and ferocious death machine. So, humans have to open the door for him to leave or enter the house and then he always does both exodus and entry very gingerly, as if expecting the door to slam on him or some creature to jump out and pounce on him at any moment. This has the added benefit that he does not bring his prey into the house, something our younger cat is prone to do. It's nice to see he has some phobias. It adds to his personality.

You could also set your watch to him arriving at the doorstep at 7 in the morning after a wild night hunting and he also never strays beyond the property. We were devastated when he did not come home at the appointed time not only 2 days ago, but yesterday too. We spent hours hunting about the garden, paddock and creek yesterday and last night, calling out with flashlights in the dark. I feared the worst when we found broken bits of car lying on the road near the end of our drive.

This morning, however, he was waiting for us at the appointed time to open the door, somewhat sore, but otherwise bewildered by the love and affection he suddenly received from all concerned. He's off to his least favourite place in the world later today, the vet, to see what is ailing him. That might prove to be an epic battle as he is very savvy about such appointments and tends to hide or make himself scarce. Thank God he's back!

 

When WF finally comes back online.... LOL.

 

I'm not at work today. I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts and then felt itchy behind my right calf. I scratched the area and got a jolt of pain. I got a flashlight and inspected the area just below the knee at the back. I noticed a paralysis tick that was embedded in my leg and the invader had injected me with a warning shot of venom when I scratched it. We eventually removed it but I'm finding that leg isn't working as well as I would like and it's the one I use for driving. I've taken antihistamines and put pawpaw ointment on the bite, but it's still burning and itchy as hell. Also, I'm feeling foggy mentally, probably a side effect of the venom.

I'm extremely grateful I found this blighter before it really started pumping venom about the body. They're not like the common brown ticks so pervasive around the world. Pets bitten by paralysis ticks for a few days have the same pitiful survival rate as pets bitten by the most poisonous snakes in the world. Paralysis ticks also kill horses, so people are fair game too!

All in all, a good opportunity to just relax and take the day off, knowing I'm genuinely owed a sick day.

 

"Oh no, it's worse than we thought! Well look on the bright side
at least once it's all over you can get a fancy cybernetic leg."
(Checks all the straps to make sure you can't move)
"Hang in there this will only take a second."

 

Thanks, @Cave Troll, I'll bear your offer in mind should the leg go an interesting shade of green. If that happens, I'll recall your offer and be sure to acquire your chainsaw and medical equipment so I can hide them on the other side of the world while I stay as far away as possible!

 

"Aw, c'mon...I'll give you a lolly when it's over...
And if you eat the worm you'll be extra drunk."

 

I've had way too much contact with creepy crawlies recently, no thank you!

 

Ok, we'll make it seem like an Alien Abduction, no creepy crawlies involved.

 

I can livedie with that. Hand it over, quick before I change my mind!

 

After consuming half a bottle of Vodquila, the patient has passed out,
and is ready for surgery.

(Several hours later, and one hell of a hangover)

"Um...Doc...the patient is coming to."
"Oh that's great, just let me degrease this spanner."
(Metallic clinking and clanging of instruments and
hand tools on trays.)

"Welcome back to reality! There were some complications
and you had us worried there for a while, but you did manage
to pull through. Though the nurse and I have to inform you that
we had to take more than that bad leg, and you are 80% Ford
El Camino. Gonna be another good hour before your new fluids
will be filled from the IVs. So...wanna another round of shots?"

 

Did he at least get a 351 and supercharger? Really, he should be blown, old school. Custom headers, definitely ceramic coated. Tell me he got the Crown Vic suspension. What about exhaust?
How much of that Vodquilla did you have?

 

Sure why not...

Between MB, the nurse, and I, we had a lot of Vodquila.
How else do start with a simple leg amputation, and end up
building a vintage transformer.

 

On Facebook I’ve found a writing mentor that’s really helped me along with my writing. He’s helped me accomplish in just six months what I wasn’t able to do in more than a decade since I was ‘bitten by the writer’s bug’. The guy is awesome — seriously, get a writing mentor if possible.

 

I'm feeling very loved, and I like it.

 

Robot Chicken