The Life Thread

Loves a funny thing, isn'tit.

Though it was wierd. When I first spoke to Phill, a thought popped into my head: 'I'm gonna marry that man'. We've been together a year now. And ok- no marriage plans just yet other than the teasing, but it's a nice thing.

Love makes you do the wacky.

 

Indeed it does DoZ

I have spent 14 years with Elizabeth and had four children with her. She has stood by me through many things and has supported me while I was away with the army.

We argue like cat and mouse but thats what makes us strong. Without her I'm not sure where i'd be really.

 

I have heard that from many people raven.
Don and I never argue. no word of a lie. I grew up with a screamer father and the louder he got the more stupid he sounded so I was determined never to be like that so I just don't argue. It drives Don crazy but after 10 years he finally decided to not try and make me. We have been together 32 years this april. I don't really know how we come to decisions on things they just seem to happen.
Each relationship is different and that is really a good thing.
I am glad you found someone you are comfortable and happy with. It means a lot in life

 

My parents argue all the time, but I know that's really just their way of solving problems. And inthe end, the problem is always solved. I guess that's how they were raised.

 

My BF is very nice and puts up with my mood swings! He's lovely. Don't know how he puts up with me!

 

It's nice reading about y'all and your partners, it is so sweet seeing how much you love one another. Soppy moment coming on.

 

Here is a good one for you then Heather
My grandparents married at 19 I don't know how old my grandfather was but they were married for 74 years.
My grandfather was confined to a hospital bed at home for about a year. He said he didn't want to die in a hospital so he came home to the farm looked after by my uncle and aunt and my grandmother.
She had them move her bed right next to the hospital bed so she could hold his hand while they slept. They had to put her bed on a platform since the other was higher than a normal bed.
She said she held his hand everynight of their married life and she wasn't going to change that.
He died in his sleep in the same room he had been born in. The house started as a one room log cabin and it became the master bedroom as the house grew over the years.
That is what I want my life with Don to be. nothing soppy about that.

 

Ow that is amazing Lessa, brought tears to my eyes. I am one of the most romantic loving persons you'll ever find. I even think Hanibal is really romantic.

My Great Grandparents have been togther for about 50 odd years now and it is so nice. When she was in hospital my granddad didn't know what to do when visiting hours were over. She's back home now though and they still going strong, although it's cute when they argue over daft things like the Tv or something

 

It is, in a disturbing kind of way. The book is more so though, it has a different ending.

 

Aye I know Banzia, I cried having read that. It just soo . . . . . wow.

 

You know how we were talking about suicide on that thread.
Well a kid that was a couple years younger than Dom, committed suicide just a week or so ago.
His girlfriend lost the baby and threw him out so he went out drinking and jumped out of a Ottawa City motel.
He lived beside us in the apt. building we were in at the time. His father works with Don. He told me when it happened but the name didn't register. Last night Raymond (my other son) called and told me also. The name was familiar but it didn't register until late last night.
I remember him as a 12 year old shy gawky kid but really he had a nice personality.
Such a shame and I feel so badly for his parents they raised him right and loved him dearly he was their only chld.
Sort of in shock here.
I hate suicide but it hurts when it is someone you know.
Suicide is never right.

 

I could never comit suicide. How could I do that to the few people who love me?

 

Before they diagnosed me Fibromyalgia I was always told it was depression that was my problem. I always told them I was depressed because I hurt and that was all.
One dr. asked me if I would ever commit suicide. I said no way. he said why not you hurt all the time and don't think you have much of a life outside your family. So being me I told him I wouldn't because my house wasn't clean enough and my children would have to live with family talking about what a slob I was.
He never asked me that question again.
I couldn't do it. No way no how. I love my family too much for that.

 

i seriously need someone to talk to about particular issues that have been plauging my brian lately, any takers? ><

 

PM me if you like, Eoz. Or you could wait til I'm on MSN.

 

you can pm me if I would be of any help Eoz Eanj'
it is always nice to talk something over just to get the ducks lined up as they say.

 

Eoz, see my response in the Chatbox thread. I'm sorry you are having a difficult time right now.

 

I have a problem. You see, at this specific moment in time, I feel like dying. Why? Because I hate feeling. I hate the sorrow of this world and the sorrow of my own mind. Inexplicable and stupid. The urge is strong. But I am fighting it and God only knows why. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't think I am ever going to be good enough for my boyfriend. I'm not going to be worth anything. I mean, I'm not even writing at all. I'm feeling quite helpless at the moment. It's so stupid. I know it is. My chest is so tight with anger and rage and hurt. And there is no reason for it. None at all. I guess I want to break up with my boyfriend. I don't know why. Have have no idea at all. I love him. I know I do. Maybe it's because I feel like I no longer have the feeling of love. I say it but sometimes I can't feel it. Is loving someone like that? God. I'm sorry for posting up such a morose and terrible post. But this is how I feel at the moment and currently, I am saying this to a computer and a forum and it's easier, I guess to actually put something here than say it to anyone else. Not my boyfriend. Why? Perhaps because I don't want to hurt his feelings. But Do I stay with him because of love or rather, is it because I don't think anyone else is going to love me at all??

Again, I apologise for the post. It helped to write it. To perhaps share it and see if anyone feels like this at all. Anyways. Thankyou.

~Doz.

I have just edited this slightly, as it's a little... graphic is the only word I can describe it at the moment. Suicidal I spose. I am tempted to edit this whole post but I want something to remind me that these thoughts are not right, not safe. I thank God that My Boyfriend understands me, and supports me.

 

If there aren't specific stresses in your life that you can tie these feelings too, like a recent loss, it doesn't sound like situational depression. That points toward clinical depression, which may possibly have a biochemical basis.

Regardless of which type of depression it is, and it clearly is a depressive state, the best recommendation is to consult a physician, immediately. He or she can help determine the cause, and provide treatment options that can help you through it.

This sounds like a very dangerous condition at this time. I would not delay in seeking medical assistance.

 

If you can't see a physician quickly, start taking Omega-3. It helps most people stabilize their emotions. Not an instant or perfect solution but it can help a little.
But go see a physician. Its the best thing you could do.

 

Thankyou. Everynow and then I get really down. I don't know why. I tried seeing a doctor about it a while ago. He simply looked at his watch and said that I should of made a double appointment. I havn't seen a doctor about my mood-swings since. But thankyou. I felt better probably twenty minutes after posting my post. I feel a bit drained, a bit sad but I'm ok.

But thankyou Cogito. You have no idea how much that helps. I will see the doctor soon enough though. Thanks again.

 

Thanks Dom. It is a good suggestion. I hope it will help.

 

Try St.John's wort.
over the counter and very effective.
non addictive.

 

Careful with the St. John's wort, though, it is possible to overdose on it.

Just like any other drug, I suppose, but people tend to think "hey, it's herbal! I can have as much as I want!"...so some people a while back ignored the dosages and died; earning the plant (and herbal medicine by extension) a bad reputation it really didn't deserve.

 

I have sort of a dilema going on in my head and maybe some new opinions will help me sort it out. So here is the story.
My father and I never got along. Oh I was the good daughter who did everything to please him but was never good enough to do that.
I was clumsy, I wasn't great at school, I wasn't popular, I didn't try and be popular, he told me when I was 15 to never get fat like mother because the only thing I had going for me was my looks, I didn't marry the right guy, I was a horrible mother to my sons because I didn't force them into sports or cubs. My husband is a bum who will never amount to anything.
My father died a year ago Feb.2. We went to the funeral and I did all the right things, except I didn't cry. My sisters cried and my brother spoke at the service, he is a minister and he was saying what a wonderful man our father was, how he did such a good job to raise the 4 of us and it was as if he was talking about somebody I had never met.
My father was mentally abusive to my brother and I. He screwed up our lives so badly it has taken 31 years of marriage for me to actually have any self confidence. One phone call from him and I was devastated for at least a week. When he started in on the boys I drew the line and we had very little to do with any of the family.
Now that the anniversary of his death is so close my sisters are telling me that I must call mom on the 2nd and talk to her so she will not be lonely. She is in Florida and with a lot of retired friends at the snow bird park where mom and dad bought a trailer about 19 years ago. She does not need a call on that day from me, and I would feel like a hipocrite listening to her talk about dad. He picked on her all the time and my brother and I tried to protect her from in by being perfect.
I called today just to shut my sisters up but I won't call on the 2nd.
Do you think I should call and bite my tongue to keep from saying something I really shouldn't or do I just let this call cover it for me?
My mother was not the greatest person either and she still will not admit that dad was not god, and when I used to complain to her about him (after I left home) she would say that he really didn't mean it or he wasn't feeling good. never that he did what he did because he was an SOB and a drunk.
I am not sure what I am asking here but I have been told I am a bad daughter and person because I never loved my dad. I am unkind because I said things to my mom and hurt her because she loved dad.
I don't think I am bad or uncaring I just found it impossible to love the man who was supposed to protect me and treated me like dirt instead.
That is the dark place I have been in trying to get out for the past week.
I guess the saying you can pick your friends but not your family is really true.
I am still trying after living with him for 17 years to find a few good memories but I can't seem to.
I am not sorry he died, in fact I took it as a chance to start over.
Does this make me a bad person and a horrible daughter?