The Life Thread

Damn that sucks, lordofhats. Is there no chance of petitioning them to not do it?

 

The school has an obligation to retain the program you signed up for the time normally required for completion. Remind them of that. You might also want to contact the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Postsecondary Education. They may be able to bring pressure to bear on the institution to do the right thing.

Failing that, you could probably get a single free consultation with a lawyer to find out what options you have under the educational contract you have with them.

 

That's just the thing though Cog. They've essentially kept all the classes "needed" for my major. Software developement, AI Programming, and Multi-media Design were all optional courses for my major but they were the courses I needed for the job I want. I can still graduate but the dramatic shift in the curriculum has edged out all the courses I wanted to take (And those that they kept I have completed or am in the process of completion).

The clever dirt bags. I had about a dozen classes neccessary for graduation of my major and only four of the neccessities came from the CSC departement, (Computer Programming I, Computer Programming II, Intro to Operating Systems, and Applied Programming) all of which are still there. They've just got a new name. Only the first two and the last are ones I wanted and the others were all optional courses all of which have been removed.

 

How about directed study? If your school supports that option, you may be able to get instructors to teach one-on-one for those courses the school cancelled. The curriculums and reading lists already exist, and your financial aid will probably cover the small increase in tuition for that course option.

Another possibility is to see if there is another University (online or local) that could offer the course and arrange with your school to accept the credits.

Another alternative would be to study those topics on your own, independent of the degree program. You'll do a lot of that anyway after you earn the piece of paper. If the school no longer plans to offer the courses, they may possibly be persuaded to grant you access to the curriculum materials.

Honestly, I always learned much more outside of school than in classes. School mostly got in the way of my studying.

 

My parents have been divorced for a long time now, and the agreement (not an actual signed contract) was that I'd go to his place every tuesday and wednesday, and every second weekend. I've been staying true to that, but now I don't want to keep going.

My dad's been remarried for a few years, and I've been okay with my stepmom, but lately she's been exploding, violently yelling at me and stuff for the lamest reasons. Like going to be 10 minutes past my bed time.

Normally I'd shrug it off, but the last time she lunged for my neck, as though she was going to strangle me or something.

I really don't want to go back. But I feel that if I don't, I'll be hurting my dad's feelings.

What should I do?

 

Speak to your dad about it. You have a legitimate reason, and the best course of action is openness.

 

Is your dad aware of these incidents? If not, he needs to know about them.

I agree with Banzai. Whatever you decide to do, you should talk with your dad about it before making a final decision.

 

damn!

Something similar happened at the school I went to. There was a course that I was enrolled to do and paid out the money to do as well. When school started the course had been removed and I got placed in a sewing class instead...I was peeved! Not only had I missed out on the literacy course I was hoping to do, but they placed me in the one class that I felt was degrading! Home Economics. It taught nothing apart from how to be a model house wife basically and they placed me in there. I was not happy one little bit.

I complained to the education department bitterly and was able to change out of that course into any course of my choosing. Wasn't the point though.

I hope that you can sort it out lordofhats. I'm sorry that your school is messing you about like that. Sounds right off if you ask me. They never do seem to give a rats ass about the students, just saving money to benefit themselves!

 

Abstract talk to your dad. Don't complain or accuse. Just state the facts and see what he says.

Lord check out all your options. Maybe talk to one of your professors in a class you wanted to take. He could help you out with more ideas and maybe get you the classes.
Sure hope you find a solution.
Good luck.

 

If she has done this then you most definately need to speak with your father and make him aware of the incidents. I know that at the moment she obviously hasn't physically harmed you, but she obviously has emotionally. It only takes one moment of lack in judgement and self control for an incident like this to go too far and someone get seriously hurt. Don't let yourself be a victim. Speak to your father about it, I know it isn't easy to do, but it is the only thing you can do.

I am very sorry that you have to experience something like this. But at the end of the day your feelings and well being is more important than those of your fathers. Sorry to be so harsh there, but it is a simple fact. You could end up in a far worse situation and it would make life for everyone much harder if it did when it could have had a stop put to it much earlier.

 

Cog: Some good suggestions. I could teach myself, though I guess I'm the opposite of you and learn best in a classroom environment. I'm still looking into my options and I need to talk to the parnetal units (Who control the purse in this family) before I do anything.

Torana: I liked home economics . I made a Kiss the Cook Apron. YOur right though this reorganization is caused by the outsourcing of programming jobs to India and CHina and the fact that many Americans just arn't interested in programming anymore (For some reason beyond me network managment pays alot better than a programming job and network management is an easier thing to learn). In short its not making up the money it costs to administrate and therefor they're going with the mor eprofitable curriculum whihc is mostly network management and security systems.

lessa: I am talking with one of my professors, who is none to happy about this decision. We're both of the mindset that its pointless to teach someone how to be businessman without teaching him supply and demand which is basically what the school is doing (They are teaching how to operate computers but apparently no one is learning the programming or the languages that go into their design or maintainence).

 

Well fingers crossed that things turn out for you.

We didn't get to make aprons...for some stupid reason we made long skirts..... I didn't get it then and I got detention for questioning the teacher too. I always got detention cause I always questioned her methods lol the class was degrading and boring and I hated it!!!! <giggle> Detention was good though cause I got lots of sleep I was missing out on hahahahahaha

 

Standard proceedure for my generation.
girls took home ec boys took shop and woodworking.
I wanted to learn wood working. I hated sewing and still do to this day.
I had been cooking since I was 8 so didn't think they could teach me anything.
I kept going home when sewing was the last class. We did make an apron and mine was crap. I like to sew by hand but they didn't teach that. Just on the machine. I learned to hem when I was 9 and I learned to sew on a tredle machine at the age of 10.
Back then my mother was one of the rare working mothers. My friends mothers mostly stayed home. So I learned to do stuff to help mom in the house.
couldn't take computers since they weren't around back in them thar long ago days.
BUT I never saw a dinasaur so not that long ago.
Hope it works out for you future is at stake Lord.

 

There were dinosaurs in my town when I was growing up.

Sinclair Oil Company created them, and the display visited my town.

I took pictures with my Brownie Bullet camera, but those pictures are long lost.

But back to the schooling issue, I have always been primarily self taught. I have attended college, but need to finish one last course to seal my baccalaureat. But over the years I have worked in a couple of different specialized professions (chemistry and computers). I have done quite well, if I do say so myself.

Still, I will be finishing my BSIT degree in the upcoming weeks (awaiting scheduling of my final course), and I plan to go ahead with a Masters in Education, in order to teach college level Mathematics and possibly science and technology as well.

 

Well, they don't sound like they're good friends to you and apparently you don't like them very much either so my advice would be to stop hanging out with them. I don't see the point if you're just hurting yourself by being with them.

 

Honestly it sounds like your friends show you no respect and that is just outright rude of them. It sounds like you are making an effort for their respect and acceptance when they should be accepting you for who you are.

You aren't doing ANYTHING wrong. They are the ones that are at fault here. I am really sorry your friends are behaving in this manner. Maybe you should just walk away from them, give them time to think about the way they are treating you and find a group of friends that aren't complete sods to you.

There is no excuse for the way they have treated you. None at all. Maybe mention to them that what they are doing is hurting you. If you can't then best to walk away and forget about them. Sometimes it is hard to do, I know, I've had to walk away from a large group of friends myself, just for a slightly different reason though. But you will find new friends that will respect you and treat you like a human being.

Big hugs

Torana

 

you have outgrown your friends.
you have things to do and places to see.
in other words you have a life beyond the silly and nastiness.
It is time to move on to a new circle where you will fit in much
more easily.
This current group seems me like putting a fat lady into a girdle.
It never is a comfortable fit.

 

I agree with lessa. It looks as though your friends are busy treading water in the Hormonal Sea, and you have more on your mind than that.

When people start telling me how I should think, I think it's time to show them my heels.

Don't let them hold you back just because they're stuck. In fact, you can do them a big favor by showing them how to think for themselves. Maybe the will realize you present an example worth following, and the may even look to you as a leader in time. Whether or not they do, you will at least have thrown off the traces and can explore your own interests and unique identity.

One last thing - you don't need to be Frank to talk serious issues with guys. Just be yourself!

(sorry, I can never resist a wide open pun opportunity!)

 

Ray are you a good actress?
If you are this might work and if you aren't really good it may just get you through this a bit easier.
When ever you have to be around them like in the cafeteria or lounge areas, have a book or some transportable hobby. As long as they are being friendly leave it out of sight. As soon as the nasty takes over pull out your book and totally ignore them. Laugh at something in the book but don't acknowledge them at all.
It will probably drive them nuts for a while when you don't tell them what the joke is and they will eventually pick on someone or something else.
Most people like this only want attention and if you give them none the actions will change. Especially if you show them that you could care less what they are doing. You are better than they are and maybe they know this and feel threatened. Don't let them see how it hurts.
I have been there and since it was a small town I had no escape from them at all. Kind of lonely but things will change when you are in the bigger fishbowl called life.
luv and hugs

 

Ray, I have been thinking of how to answer you since I read this, this morning.
You seem to be a very intelligent young woman. Do you think you could live with
yourself just acting like the crowd so you fit in.
If you do then try it for a while.
I know where you are coming from I was the same trying to make myself over to at least be able to watch from the sidelines. Unfortunately it didn't work and I was really lonelier than when I didn't try.
Nobody can really answer you but you.
Try different things and when you find one you can feel comfortable living in then do it. If it gets to be too much of a stretch try something else.
Try to find other friends after school and at other places.
If you need to talk to someone you can always pm me. I am a good listener and sometimes even give decent advice.
luv and hugs.

 

Polonius' advice remains valid - to thine own self be true.

 

Pretty hard to do when you are a teen with all the peer pressure.

 

You know I've never truely fit in with any of my groups of friends. I'm an individual and so very different from them all. BUT, they accept me for who I am. If they can't it is there problem and not mine. I don't care what they think, I love who I am and what I have become and if they don't, tough luck for them. They are the ones missing out not me.

This is hard thing to come to realise but when you do you'll be a better person for it and much happier. So stuff em Ray. Don't change who you are. You are an amazing person, a talented writer, and a good heart. If they can't accept that you aren't perfect (because no one is) then tell em to get stuffed. Sorry just I don't see the point in lying to ones self to make others happy. I tried that a while and I ended up pretty messed up in the head for a while not knowing who I was anymore. Now I do and I don't give a rats butt what others think of me.

Just be who you are, you can't be Brad Pitt or Brittany Spears cause you aren't either of them, you are yourself and that person is every bit as amazing as the next big hit hollywood actor. Don't fall to peer pressure. Love who you are, love who you are becoming, it is hard, but it is a vital and major step into crafting who you are going to be for the rest of your life. Don't be a DOORMAT for ANYONE! Be the one who stands up for herself and doesn't let people wipe their feet on her. It won't be easy I know, I've been down this road, but it will make you a far stronger person at the end of the day.

Torana

 

I really hope that things work out. You are an amazing person and don't let anyone tell you any differently ok.

Big hugs to ya darl

Tor

 

How do you talk someone out of doing something that could wind them up in a very difficult situation?