The not happy thread

I'm unhappy because I'm so anxious right now over the dumbest thing! Like I'm borderline panic attack, all because I want to write. o_o; But I'm terrified that it'll be dumb and not good enough.

I mean, I get anxious when I write, but never this bad! D:

And I love writing! So why would I get so scared over it!

Aghsdlkfsldkf D:

Gigi_GNR - Yeah I'm nervous about school too. Even though I go all summer because I go to a therapeutic school, I'm nervous because I'm going to a new, less therapeutic school on September first. o_0; So I'm graduating from my old school. xP Bah.

 

Thanks. *breathes deeply*

But it's a HUGE, HUGE high school!! It's so BIG. I WILL get lost and end up with the creepy janitors, and they'll be wearing Michael and Jason and Scream masks and close in around me intending to hit me with mops...... *shudder*

We can be nervous together!

 

Gi, I am so glad you said that. I mean, I'm sorry you're scared, but I go to the biggest high school in my state. We house between 4000 and 5000 kids at any given time.

My school was nice enough to realize that size was often a problem with incoming freshmen and created something called the freshman center, which is where all frosh classes are held. It felt kind of like a cage at times, but it was a really easy way to get to know a lot of people in the class of 2010 (my class; woohoo!).

During the time the center was constructed, a mentoring program was launched. Juniors and seniors will come to the freshman during free periods and help them out. And these mentors wear bright orange shirts on the first day of school. So if anyone gets lost, you know to ask them for help. Our school is in suburbia, but I'd be surprised if other schools didnt have at least something similar.

If you have something like that, you really dont have much to worry about. --Easier said than done, I know. If you dont, another way my school likes to make itself seem more welcoming is the phrase posted all over the school: "You only take with you what you leave behind."
Basically, it means get involved. It seems cheesy (in fact, it still seems cheesy to me), but if you get involved in activities or at least leave a mark somehow, you'll get to know more people, and the school wont seem as daunting when you see lots of friendly faces staring back at you.

In my frosh year, even though I thought it was cheesy, I joined lots of clubs. (The school has over 200.) Clubs turned out to not much be my thing; I felt they were too "cliquey" and that I didnt quite fit. Sophomore year, I joined the student newspaper, which is comprised of roughly 60-70 students every year, and I swear these kids are my best friends still. These are the kids who lift me up when I am down, and these are the kids who are going to make a difference. --Most kids on my paper go on to attend Ivy League colleges, and recently we had a 2008 graduate go on to attend Cambridge in England. It was the best decision I ever made.

The point is, get involved in something. It doesnt have to be a club, it doesnt have to be a student newspaper (although I strongly encourage it, haha ), it doesnt have to be band... but make it something.
Large schools have lots of kids, but that also means they have lots of opportunities. Our school has a drama department, yearbook, newspaper, orchestra, band, all kinds of JV and varsity sports teams (including some you've probably never heard of), intramural sports, Senate, and those 200+ clubs I mentioned. There's no reason why something shouldnt appeal to you.

The thing about large schools is that everyone is nervous, everyone is scared of being friendless and bullied, and so everyone is also quick to latch on to other people to make friends. Dont let yourself be overlooked, okay? Be outgoing. I know for some people that's scary. It was for me. In eighth grade, a psychologist told me that I had a social phobia --not that I needed to be told. It was really hard for me to speak up or befriend anyone no matter how much I wanted to. But that's exactly why I joined the paper. I knew I'd have to talk to people, and now people tell me to shut up more often than asking me to speak up.

Make friends. Dont stay in your one clique, although I wouldnt ask you to let it die, either. The more friends you have, the smaller the school seems.

And Rumpole's right. You wont be locked inside a locker or tortured by the upperclassmen. The worst thing you're likely to endure is a few jeers about being "freshmeat." It's just a typical initiation thing. Some upperclassmen may not want to talk to you, but if that's the case, you dont want to talk to them either. In fact, my frosh year, I made more friends with juniors and seniors than freshmen. Most people are very friendly.

If you get lost --ask! You may be jeered at jokingly for being new, but everyone remembers being lost before too.

High school is not like it is in the movies. The hallway is not (always) the runway, and jock does not mean jerk. The druggies dont toke up in the girls bathroom, and the preppy cheerleaders arent all that mean.

You'll be fine, okay?

And if you need anything else, you can always PM me. Of course we dont go to the same school (probably ), but I love to help people out. I imagine the upperclassmen at your school are the same, but sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you dont have to face, you know?

Buck up, lovely! You'll be fine!

 

*reads all of Merc's post with increasing smile*

THANK YOU!!!!


Everything you said is a huge encouragement. And that means so much more because you're actually still in school and have been through it all. I can't tell you how happy I am that you would say all that.

 

No problem, hon. I remember crying really hard the day before junior high because I didnt know where my locker was or where any of my classes were. I was so nervous. I had to ask everyone where all eight of my classes were that first day. And I had just transferred --I didnt know anyone. And the eighth graders (in my middle school, eighth grade was top dog) were really mean.

But if you ask me, if you survived middle school, you can definitely survive high school. My experience with that transition is that everyone acts like they are the **** in middle school --like they're trying to emulate high school before it comes. Do you know what I mean? I found middle school to be more like the high school in the movies than actual real life high school has ever been. Everyone seemed to grow up during the transition from middle school and high school. Nobody teased me about the shirt that I wore, and I didnt feel terribly lonely either. People just stopped caring about trivial things.

And the day before I entered high school, I was crying again. I was so scared that it was going to be the same as middle school. But it wasnt. Relatively speaking, my high school experience has been positive.

I dont know where you live; I know the inner city school about forty-five minutes away from where I live is pretty gruff, but it's also a lot smaller. Rural schools are a lot smaller too, and scary in the fact that cliques are hard to break. Every school is different and scary in its own way, so dont take everything I say as 100% fact, but that has been my experience so far.

I'm not going to say that high school makes up the best four (hopefully four! Haha) years of your life. At least, I sure hope not!

High school for me has been not so much the social scene that I find scary; it's the maturing I've had to do that's been scary. I was faced with the decision of drugs or straightedge, study or not, sex or not, etc in my frosh year. I didnt even know what some of the things kids were doing even happened or existed. It's hard. But if you've got good friends and a good head on your shoulders, you'll be fine. You'll make mistakes (if you dont, teach me, please), but so does everyone else.

I'm glad I reassured you somewhat. S'what I'm here for.

 

Thanks.

i'll tell you all how my first day went when that time comes

 

I'm sorry you guys are nervous about school starting. I get that way when I'm approaching something new or unfamiliar, but just take a deep breath and don't let your nerves get the best of you! Everything will be better after you get used to your new school routine.

I'm unhappy because I had a crazy day at work, and then I came home and decided to eat ice cream to make myself feel better, which was a terrible idea. Now I feel very, very sick. Booooo.

 

Bad mood. Sick. Bad mood.

 

Sorry. HUGS Em.

 

*bangs head on table repeatedly*

 

What's wrong Yellow?

 

I'm just in one of those bad moods where I feel like crying and unproductive and just really terrible in general

 

Hugs. Sorry Yellow.

 

thanks

maybe getting back to my story will help
it usually does but its hard to start cuz of how horribly unproductive I'm feeling

 

Nothingto do but grab a drink you like (I always use coffee), put on some good musci and go for it. Good luck.

 

thanks

music and writing seem to help alot

 

I'm leaving for bootcamp in a week and I'm so scared I don't want to get out of bed and honestly feel like crying like a baby. I've had to drink myself to sleep the past couple of nights because of insomnia, I can't write, can't make music. I think I'm going insane from fear.

 

I'm sorry. I have a friend in the army, and every time he's on leave, he gets like that the last few days before he goes back. It always makes me sad.

 

It is two a.m.
I'm awake, eating a bowl of lucky charms.
The nyquil failed.
I woke up.
Because I felt like I was drowing.
Which happens when you stop breathing.
I closed my mouth while I was asleep.
I couldn't breath.
Sat up, and couldn't breath again because the drainage that had built up was allllll going down at once.

Ugh.

 

Poor Em! Would it help if you propped yourself up with pillows to sleep? I remember when I was younger, anytime I got sick I had to sleep almost sitting up because otherwise breathing was too hard.

I hope you find a way to get some sleep, and that you start to feel better very quickly!!!

 

I am unhappy because i found a great new apartment but i the deposit's too steep.

 

So yeah,

I feel pretty bad for my Mum's bestfriend, Gayle, whom the doctors are rather confident has uterine cancer.

I feel even worse for her because she's being stuffed around by our bonehead health-system; it's really quite unacceptable, it's taken weeks to get a diagnosis, when it was only supposed to take a few days.

Mum was furious when she heard the way she's being treated. She wrote to the local radio statio expressing her distain for what she's been put through.

The email was recieved, and the host of the radio station decided to interview Gayle to get her story first hand.

Needless to say after hearing it, he promised to get the Health Minister on the line, to see if he can get things moving faster for her. I sure hope it works. Poor woman.

/Sigh, so much for the Australian Health System being the best in the world.

 

My aunt has cancer too. She came for my birthday party yesterday. They said, of all the cancers you can get, this is the "best" one to get because it is slow to act and stays in one location. Yet on Monday, tests proved that it has spread to her lymph nodes.

I know of a scientist who is working on radical life extension, which is directly connected to oncology. (Because RLE is all about learning to multiply cells, but in a controlled fashion.) He said that they've already been able to double the life span in mice and that a cure, or at least a much more effective treatment, should be available in our future.

I'm sorry to hear about your family friend, Eoz. That's just ridiculous, but hopefully that will be the worst of it, as far as timeliness is concerned. It's awesome that your mom called in though; a nice reminder that sometimes just voicing your concerns can make a major difference.

 

Audio is ocming through the speakers of my laptop, but when i want to play music through the headphones, it refuses to do so. I am not happy.

 

Maybe it's the headphones and not the laptop.