The not happy thread

it is currently 97 Fahrenheit or 36 Celsius. It is hot, the breeze is hot, the sun is hot, the house is hot IT IS HOT!!!!! and I feel like I am going to drown in sweat. It is horrible and I want to move somewhere it is colder. I can't take this heat! My poor head is pounding it is that bad and we can't go to the pool because Dan has been drinking. ><

 

Oh, that sounds awful, Torana! You might try putting your feet in a bucket of icy water. The temperature of my feet always affects the way the rest of my body feels. I've been sitting at my desk doing homework and eating ice cream, which is really stupid because I'm cold as is without having a cold dessert too. Wish we could do some magic and funnel my cold air to you (and vice versa!).

 

marina, that would be brilliant if we could. This heat is making me so ill.

 

I hope you'll give the cold water on your feet a try. I really think it could work.

 

Well everyday of the new year has officially blown, and the rest of this week looks just as bad. If this is an omen for the rest of this decade for me, I might as well crawl in a damn hole.

 

I'm sorry the year has not gone well for you. Don't think it is an omen though. You may be having a hard time now, but things may just get better. I won't promise that they will, but they may. Just keep thinking positive and eventually things will turn around.

Marina, I am def going to give it a try.

 

Work just doesn't want to end and i'm hankering for some food....and a cigarette.

 

I'm cold. I'm sore and sleepy. I don't want to go to school today, and I have too much to do.

So I'm really just grumpy and complain-y.

 

Because of the damn snow, I can't get into Reading, so can't go to my work experience

 

I think my relationship with a wonderful man I've been with for over a year and love dearly is over.

This bites.

 

Sorry to hear that, Cosmos. It's always hard.

 

Thank you.

It's my own damn fault since I asked for some space and apparently that didn't sit well with him since he's not returning any of my messages now.

Oh bugger me.

 

If you asked for space, he may be waiting for you to let him know when you're willing to let him close again. He could be sitting by the phone, wanting to call but struggling not to pressure you.

On the other hand, he may just have decided to call it quits.

It's always a tough call. When you need space, you need space. But someone has to take the first step back together, if there is to be one. There is no right answer as to which one it should be.

 

I've tried calling and texting him to ask him talk to me, but nothing's worked. I needed my space but now I'm ready to talk again. If he's busy or just not ready to talk, all he'd need to do was even text me or leave me a message to say that and I'd back off. That's only fair, after all.

But this? Sorry to sound like a drama queen but I think it's quite cruel. At least with him I asked for space and stuff I made him aware of the entire situation. Right now I don't even know if he's okay, though I highly doubt anything's actually happened to him. This behaviour is so out of the norm for him that I can't help but worry.

Sorry, it's just all depressing. If we're over, we're over but at least like to know that so I can move on.

Thank you for your response, btw.

 

Sounds like he could be spitefully 'giving you space' to get at you.
I would immediately cut off all attempts to contact him- perhaps one last message that you're going to do so and see what happens.
If you get no response, then I guess it's time to move on.

 

I thought he might be doing this to "show me how it's like" in some misguided belief that I asked for space to hurt him but any sort of spiteful action from him is just so unusual. Then again my judge of character has almost never been stellar, so perhaps I just didn't see it. I'm going to try it once more and then give up since I have no interest in pursuing a man that has no (longer) interest in me or at least is spiteful enough to play this kind of game.

 

Boss sat me and the music director down to talk about finances. "Reduced hours" and "furlough " were mentioned. Not crapping my pants yet...but....

 

Don't know what 'furlough' means, but reduced hours never seems like a good conversation. Hope he was meaning reduced hours are not an option & they need you now more than ever =]

Seriously though, hope your next conversation with him brings you better news.

xxx

 

Ugh, that really sucks, Mina.

 

Having been laid off before...I will take furlough (where they close the office and no one gets paid for that day) or reduced hours. It is still working at least. Still...knot in tummy as I am off to lunch.

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, Jen.

 

I hope you can find something that will help to prevent the migraines that doesn't add to your risk of a stroke. Poor Merc.

Oh no! I hope you get everything taken care of! Stupid snow.

I hate when it's just hothothot everywhere, and there's no escape. I hope you find a way to cool down, Tor!

I'm sorry, Steve. Try not to let it get you down, hopefully things will take a turn for the better soon!

Lord, it sounds like the snow is ruining things all over the place. I'm sorry.

That sort of thing is always difficult, I'm sorry. If he really is just being a jerk because you asked for space, though, he's not worth your time. You deserve someone who would treat you better than that.

Yikes! I hope everything ends up ok.

My boss sat my down yesterday and basically told me "I know you work harder than anyone else in the store, but if you don't start selling more warranties, you're going to get fired." I could understand if I did my job and only my job and my sales performance was low, but this is not the case. Not only do I do my job, I also still do the work for the position I had before being promoted, I'm our Loss Prevention manager, and I do a large part of both the store manager and the assistant store manager's jobs.Besides, just because I don't sell warranties doesn't mean I don't make the company money.

Also, I found out last night that my grandpa is in the hospital. He's had several strokes, was in the hospital last year because he went into a diabetic coma, and now they think he may have had another stroke. My mom said she would let me know when she'd heard anything, and I still haven't heard from her, so I'm hoping that means good things and not bad things.

 

I'm not happy because my first two years in college have been nothing to me but loneliness and routine. I saw the few friends I had from high school leave the state for the most part and the one remaining doesn't go to the same college. I spent last year living out of either my car or my bedroom, and if not those two then I was working or in class with no real time to talk to anyone or able to find anyone willing to become a friend. I wanted a girlfriend since I'd never had one, but no girl seemed to want to be anything more than a mild friend to me. My dog died that year and my mom informed me that my dad and her were considering getting divorced. I got into writing and reading, though, so that was good.

This year hasn't changed much. The couple of friends I know are distancing themselves from me, one failing all of his classes in his first year of college and another becoming depressed to the point where he's avoiding contact with his friends including myself, I still don't have a girlfriend, and the one friend I've been able to talk to on a regular basis has been suffering from seizures and other bizarre symptoms of which he doesn't know is the cause, but I'm deeply concerned since I don't think most epileptics develop symptoms at 19/20 years old. I want him to get help but he seems reluctant and I actually had a hard time sleeping last night wondering what would happen to my psyche if he was gone. I'd have no one. Absolutely no one.

But I keep hoping.

 

I'm sorry, Jobey. I hope your friend is ok and that your year improves!

I'm just unhappy. I wish for once I could not be the person who constantly gets sh*t on at work. I wish that Joel and my family didn't criticize me every time I tell them something that my store manager has done for not going off on him like I do to them. Uhh, hello...if I went off on my store manager like that, I probably wouldn't have a job. Blowing up at him like I do when I vent after work is not an option.

Also, I ran into my ex's best friend today. He now knows where I work. Let the stalking and harassment commence...

 

So I should be in bed but I can't sleep. I am writing this out of me for I haven't the ability to lay my mind to rest until I do. Here seems appropriate somehow and though I know I am going flood this house with tears I am going to write this anyway.

For over fifteen years I have been looking for my childhood best friend, Julena. Tonight I was researching for an article I am writing, when I found her through another website, which had nothing to do with my story. There she was, her brown, curly hair blowing in the wind, that mischievous smile I remember so fondly. I contacted her and she wrote me back.

I read about her three sons, her happy marriage to her husband for over 23 years. How she misses Florida. Our crazy adventures, she laughed over the fact that I still have all of the cards and letters she sent to me when I moved away. It was wonderful, and then I read something that made me go cold...she hopes to be able to walk this year. What??? I immediately remembered the last time I saw her, we were walking back from the park and she turned to wave good bye before walking towards her home. It seems so unfair...I have to ask, why her?

I feel so sad. For so many years I have dreamed of what we would say, how we would be when we found each other...I never thought of anything like this. I am happy to have found her, elated even...yet...I am saddened by the hand she has been dealt. So very sad.