The not happy thread

Haha and now the ads on the bottom of my screen say "meet Christian singles" and "Wonder if Jesus is God?"

 

God...

 

Better change the subject before the mouth frothers show up.

I am not happy because I'm feeling ill at the moment. I think Lydia gave me her illness via IM...somehow.

 

Haha noice. Yeah she's better now, you received the e-disease.

 

Rob, I think Lydia gave her sickness to me, too. How mean!

 

What, I'm being accused of this now? That is mean!

Hope you feel better, soul sister.

(And you too, Rob, but I told you that already... )

 

Thanks, little sister. I don't really think you got me sick, I blame my customers.

 

I posted a question on "Yahoo Answer" and no one is answering. It's been nearly 20 hours since I posted it.

C'mon, Yahoo! D= I wanna know!

 

What's the question?

 

Just a "Would this setting be better for my book" thing.

To be honest...I kinda stopped writing a few weeks ago. Is that a bad sign?

 

I haven't written in months. It comes and goes.

 

Oh, that's good, then.

Plus, I have college, so that comes first.

 

Ok rant coming up, feel free to not read it

Today sucks.
I've been realyl sick all weekend and am still sick today. Sick enough that I probably should have (and desperately wanted to) missed school but I can't because a. it's really really hard to miss school and b. it's the last day before finals so it's even harder to miss. The worst part about that is also that I then can't miss any other day this week either because it's finals regardless of how sick I am.
I'm also severly tired because last night I got to bed late and ended up having a horrible and very real feeling dream about a friend of mine who has/is already causing me alot of emotional problems. So I basically went into school today very sick with my head all messed up from my dream. Then of course he just had to text me about something stupid this morning when he almost never (and I mean never) texts me which pushed him even more so to the forefront of my mind, something I have been trying to avoid. Then at lunch my friend stole my phone and texted him something that would definately make him reply and lo and behold he did so I actually did talk to him for a small amout of time in school today which was nice because I miss talking to him. but then in his typical fashion he just randomly stopped responding. And so of course it's all screwing with my head again because he is once again in the forefront of my mind the exact place I don't want him to be. And all of this just had to happen about two days after I decided to legitimately write him off for a while in an effort to stop him from screwing with my head/emotions again!

oh and I think my whole tolo plan thing is completely shot now also which sucks.

ok rant over.

edit: oh and also I really really wish people would stop lighting up on the path that I have to walk down everyday to get to and from school.

 

This is just a ramble of nonsense and depression. I'd skip me out of I were you.

Spoiler

//snippety.

//I know i'll regret this but screw it I don't care. I need to vent this.

 

Ash, do not believe a single word they are saying about you. You're awesome. As for you so called family, they aren't your real family. True family would never behave like that. Also, I would suggest you try to find a different university. That place is toxic.

And finally, I can bet Matt thinks that you're a great girlfriend.

 

Poor Yellow. What a crappy, crappy day. I hope you feel better tomorrow!

Ashleigh, that is a horrible way for your family to treat you. I second what Shadow said-don't listen to a thing that they tell you, because none of it is true. You're a beautiful, talented, intelligent person. Matt loves you, we here at the WF love you, and anyone who would treat you so horribly is not worth a second glance. They're just jealous, spiteful, cold-hearted b*tches.

 

Ashleigh, why do you grant others such power over you? I learned a long time ago that if someone does not like me, it's THEIR loss! I know that sounds a bit arrogant, okay, it sounds like I am an arrogant jerk, but the truth is, life sucks when you allow others to define your existence. If they, and their opinions, mean nothing to you, then their comments or behavior don't hurt.

If I was you, I'd love myself and those few people who are genuinely happy to share life with me. I'd become very successful...not for mum and dad...for myself, which, by the way, is exactly what I did in my life. I have brothers and sisters that I haven't seen in twenty years. No biggie. I don't miss them...moved on a long time ago. My wife and kids, on the other hand, are very affectionate and close to each other...completely the opposite of MY family when I was growing up.

So, it's your choice. Spend your life trying to live up to some bullshiit expectations of others or define your own world and be happy. I chose to move on...about your age when I made that conscious decision...was 19. Now, I'm 60 and thankful I did. Good luck.

 

Thank you NaCl...I'm just finding it very hard to accept that the family that have supposedly 'loved me' all my life now have nothing but hate towards me, all because I grew up. How can I be destined to have to abandon my family, the only thing I know, my only 'comfort zone' (which is sick in its own way - I choose between either abuse or despair) just to be happy?

And there is nothing I can do about this. I just can't stand it that they're forcing me out so harshly like I mean nothing. No, scrap that - telling me i'm nothing.

I can't understand why my mother wants to turn on me. For god's sake, I wish I was a child again just so I could be oblivious to the fact that my mother has never really liked me. I'm not good with this stuff. In my family, it's like: If you're not miserable, you're not living. So they essentially create misery to feed from.

I really envy people that have these happy-clappy cereal-box families that look on the brightside and support eachother instead of shattering everything and turning it into hell. I know all families have problems, but my family seem dead-set on chewing me up and spitting me out again. It's ridiculous.

ugh. I'm going to try and keep moving on, but it's like wading through mud.

 

Ash, I think your family just uses you to vent their frustration and stress with life. Things become easier when you can simply yell at someone else when things don't turn out right. When you cut them out of your life (which I truely hope is soon, for your sake), they'll turn on each other in a matter of weeks and completely break apart.

 

Ashleigh, you have a victim mentality. You are letting others define you. Screw what others say. Define your own character and environment in the positive manner that you crave. You'll find that positive people are attracted to positive people...it's contagious. Your happiness is a choice that only you can make...be a victim, or become the architect of your own future.

 

I think I've ruined any chance of joining a guild in my videogame, "Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion". I was gonna have my character do EVERYTHING possible in the game.

 

Oh dear, I think Joel's cat may be sick or something. He isn't usually downstairs, so I don't really see the way he normally behaves (I say normally because the only interaction I usually have with him is him trying to scratch me or bite me), but he's been downstairs all day, just lying in the same spot. Usually when he is downstairs with me, he's trying to get on the furniture, sneak into my room, scratch up my chair, etc. It's a bit odd to see him just chilling on the floor like that.

 

Good opening for a horror story! LOL

I can see it now...stalking, subtle glances every time your eyes meet, stretching and extending all his formidable claws straight at you in mock attack, scratching doors of each room in which you try to hide. This is just the beginning...beware the cat from Hell.

 

Haha thanks, Saulty. I wrote a short story about my mother-in-law once, maybe I should write one about Joel's cat, too!

 

There are two ways to discover your dog has peed on the floor. One is by seeing it, which is annoying. The other is by stepping in it, which is a) completely disgusting and b) how I discovered this morning that Juneau both peed and pooped on the floor. With the storms we have been having, they do not want to go outside to do their business. I am all for rain, but when my succulents are rotting, my alley is flooded, my dogs won't pee outside, and I have to drive in the deluge...not so happy. At least we still have power.