The not happy thread

So sorry, Speedy. 'Tis the season an' all that, but it doesn't help.

 

Get well, Speedy. It sucks to be sick, I know.

 

Went to doctor. Spent over 3 hours waiting for like 5 minutes with the doctor. Got exactly the diagnosis and medicine I already knew I would get. Started antibiotics...feeling a little queasy. But...I should start to feel better now.

 

Isn't that just like doctors to keep people waiting. Glad you are on your way to wellness, Carmina.

 

I've been having terrible dreams lately.

The dreams are mostly my dog falling off of a high place, breaking his back and dying. Worst is that I can't do anything to stop it. I feel so powerless, so helpless and I feel like it's 100%, totally my fault.

 

I'm slap bang in the middle of a ridiculous mountain of work. I was given this work to do over the weekend for Monday on Friday. It comprises of two SPS preparations for the back-to-back sessions tomorrow morning. So, I was given them at 3 on Friday. I wasn't able to get home until 9 thanks to the train timetable being absolutely stupid (yeah, because no one wants to go that way for the four hours between 3 and 7, TransPennine). Each session has 10 hours of prep. 2 days, 10 hours of prep for each session. Now figure in things like, ooh, I don't know, travelling. And having a life beyond uni with uncancellable commitments I certainly couldn't get out of at short notice.

Somehow I've managed to get about 75% of the work done in a little over a day, but I'm still fuming because after this I have to complete an actual assessment. The BVC is retarded enough to think itself more important than the LLB to the point where I need to spend more time and effort on a bog-standard session else risk being thrown out and failing the entire course for not preparing to a professional standard than on an actual assessment which will affect my end of year marks.

Not happy.

 

Remember the way dreams are, it's the subconscious communicating to us trough symbolic language. I looked up falling dogs in dreas but couldn't find anything. Falling from high places is a common motif in dreams and is an expression of a hidden insecurity or anxiety about something.

Dogs in dreams almost always represent friendship and loyalty. Why you would dream something so awful I don't know, but hopefully that helps. Sometimes the first step in addressing something is getting more information on it.

The mind is a maze of ideas, sometimes it awes me.

 

I'm sick of being a big fat heffa all my life.

I diet for months. I cut out everything I ever loved to eat and I half my portions. I lose some weight and everyone tells me how wonderful I look.

But i'm still f'cking fat, and every glimpse I get in the mirror, or off-guard reflection in a window, makes me want to tear my hair out.

I was either so much more massive than I realised in the begining, or I'm going to be a fat, ugly, horrible thing all my life no matter what I do.

And no, I'm not looking for compliments. I couldn't care less what others think. It's what I think that's bothering me, and i'm not blind. I'm just so sick of being fat and I don't know what the point is in trying sometimes.

 

I've been putting on weight ever since I got out of the service, in my case I do care about the comments that others are making and I am unhappy

I'm just waiting for the weather to get warmer so that I can go outside and start running again, but I think that my genetics and age may just win over my efforts.

 

That's what I need too, more excersize. Then, my weight would come off in no time. Dieting healthily takes a long time, but it does work.

I'm starting swimming again this week, but I've wanted a bike so I can burn off fat whilst I travel. But alas, my dad's against bicycles. Not because he disagrees with them, but he thinks that drivers are too arrogant now, and the road isn't safe for them. Blegh.

 

We just gotta be persistent and consistent and we should be fine Ash

If you need the motivation we can compete or something...you'll probably win though because you started your diet before me (and I cheat)

must...go...jogging

 

Well, your dad has a point... There are tricks to loose weight faster and never get it back. Like only having three bites from dessert and leave the rest. Or change to bitter chocolate. Or jump rope regularly (great exercise).

 

Thanks guys. And Lol Jon, I cheat too sometimes. I'd go insane if I didn't, but I still moderate myself.

Pinelopi, Jump rope is a good idea...that'd get my heart beating fast quite quickly. I may invest in one. Also, I was thinking of getting one of those get-fit DVD's (lol) I'd look like an idiot, but it might help?

Anything to avoid paying the maaasssive amounts of money per month for the gym

 

You have to start with as many jumps as you can do easily (even one) and gradually increase them. This is a tough exercise, even if it looks simple. Swimming is also great, if you have the opportunity. Gym bores me, but that's just me.

 

Yeah, I can imagine it is. It'd atleast keep my mind occupied though, and its simple enough to atleast understand what to do for a start. Put me near some gym equipment and I'd just stand there going, 'Huh?'

Swimming is good, though. I like it because I can feel my muscles stretching, so it's as though you feel your body changeing each time you go. I've heared it does as good a workout as cycling does, so that's helpful.

Thanks guys. Hopefully i'll be posting in the happy thread about having lost more weight soon...

 

Maybe you should try changing your thoughts about you just as much as you try changing your weight. That was always my issue.


And Jon! You can do it!! Running is fun! find another guy who feels the same way and become work out buddies!!

 

A daily Rammstein mosh pit marathon every day would be ultimately cool and kick arse in fat burning. If only the option was available.


I cant look in the mirror for other reasons. I swear im hair is thinning. Vain i know, but .... *Run and cries* What's worse God how i hate significent others. They can be so full of crap smetimes.

 

The grandson of one of our church members died today. Austin was born weighing 1 lb 3 oz (601 grams) three weeks ago and today he died because his lungs weren't functional enough. Very sad for the whole family.

 

Workout DVDs may make you look like an idiot (or at least feel like you do), but I would really recommend picking up a couple, Ashleigh. I have several, and it's nice because you can switch up your workout whenever you get bored with one of them, rotate through them, do whatever you feel like...it keeps things fresh, which makes it a lot easier to keep working out.

Sad, sad, sad. I hope his family is ok, what a difficult thing to go through!

 

I lost my wallet today while I was riding my bike. Had all my important stuff in it. Now my mom is back to saying I'm immature and being pissed about my clothes.

 

That's all kinds of fun...

Hopefully you didn't have your social in there. =/

And, your mom still doesn't get the picture? I'm sorry. =[

 

Meh it's ok. Imma go drink a lot tonight haha make it all better.

 

don't drink alone though

 

My brother, his friends and my dad are watching Wrestlemania.

 

Oh dear....