The not happy thread

And now my friend hates me too.
All I was trying to tell her is that even though things suck right now (they really, really suck for her), it's okay to put it out of your mind and smile; it's okay to have Cryfest 2009 when it comes back to mind and still hurts, and it inevitably will. I honestly told her verbatim that "I worry about you, and I just want you to be happy even for only a little while."

And then I heard some curse words I've never heard before (which is pretty rare), and she has a really short fuse... All I was thinking at the time was "She may hate me for it now, but it's the right thing to do, and she'll appreciate it later."
Whether she appreciates it later or not (doubtful; I should have kept in mind that she's got a very strong and stubborn will), I hate myself for saying anything at all.

All I want is for everyone to get along and be happy and understand that it's okay to smile even when things get rough, and I speak from experience, but it seems that all I'm good at is f--king things up even more than they already were.

How many times can I say I'm sorry?

So on top of having a really terrible time as far as self-esteem goes, now people hate me, too, and I'm really bad with people disliking me. I feel like a truly dispicable.

Rant over --Bye.

 

@SilverRam: I understand where you're coming from. While there are some people I kinda like being around, as a whole I actually like being alone or with just one other person.

@Mercurial: You didn't f*ck things up. Since she has a short-fuse, she was probably just looking for someone to curse at. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Plus, as you may well know, sometimes getting upset and getting it out of your system feels better than trying to smile, so that's why some people just don't want to smile when things are rough.

 

I would just like to clarify that I don't think that therapy is for weak people or anything like that...I just wouldn't want to go see a therapist unless it was a BIG thing that I struggled with instead of something like having difficulty sleeping because of nightmares. Do I think that some people turn to therapy for things they shouldn't? But do I also think that therapy can really help people who need it? Definitely.

Didn't mean to spark any anti-therapy discussion...sorry...

And Mercurial, I've been struggling with weight, too-it's so frustrating trying to lose weight and just going up and down, being stuck at the same place. Stay strong, though. We'll drop the weight we want to!!!

 

I'm unhappy because each time I come back home from school, I find out how much different I am than my family and how stupid (by this I mean ignorant) my parents are. I love them to death but it is difficult to handle a simple conversation because they are set in their ways and don't think they need to open their eyes and ears in order to learn. They think what they know is right and everything else out there is bull****, without even giving a glimpse. I miss them.

 

I'm not happy because I am doing the right thing by my ex and letting him have the kids tomorrow for the day. Why am I not happy about this? Because he constantly reminded me for years how he never wanted them, is only coming down to go fishing and is only seeing the kids this time because I have a new partner, he hasn't bothered to visit the kids since September last year and never does make any effort to try and visit them, just makes excuses and never shows up! He is a useless waste of space and it is stressing me out because he hasn't ever had the kids on his own before and they don't really know him either...

sigh! Tomorrow is going to be HELL!

 

I have realized that all I need is love. Listening to The Beetles and it hit me. I want to put my heart out to someone. Besides my parents, there is nobody that loves me. I have friends, but hell if I bring up this they would ridicule me.

Love is the ultimate anti-depressant.

 

I can't be someone my mother want me to, that'll be like losing myself and becoming someone else entirely. I can't gain weight, I can't help it. I eat such a lot, if my body fails to co-operate, is it my fault? If I can't look like my sister, is it my fault? If I'm the only one who did the mistake of trying to fulfil their expectations with my grades, is it my fault? Back off Mummy, or maybe I'll just run away from home in two years and leave this materialistic world and become a "sadhuni" and go meditate in the Himalayas, until I die. I bet you wish that.

Spoiler

Two "responsible" adults can't see that they're better off without each other, and that their staying together is just hurting their kids. They use the kids as a tool against each other, bad mouthing the other and the other's family to them and behaving like everything all right in front of the world when they're just fighting to each other inside the house, making life hell for the kids. I wish they would get counselling...or maybe a divorce.

 

Bah, that really sucks Tor. I feel for you. Do your kids even like fishing??

 

I'm not happy because I had to miss another day of work due to my shoulder...and then the manager I called was all irritating and annoying and insisted I had to go see the GM before coming back to work. Despite me telling her I had a doctor's note for the whole *TWO* days that I missed. >< It sucks because I'm a third shift worker and the GM is a first shift worker... so that's going to be *LOTS* of fun later.

 

I knew my good week wouldn't last. I went to the post office this morning to collect my money, only to be told there wasn't any. Two phone calls later, I'm told that it will now be paid monthly and they *forgot* to tell me. I have no cash now until 24th.
On a brighter note, my freezer is well stocked and I have plenty of dog food, BUT it could have been very different.
Oh, and it's blowing a gale and lashing rain outside just because I have to go out later.

 

i woke up and it wasnt' snowing...you might think this is good news but it just worries me that someone up there has something special planned, probably gonna rain rocks and boulders

 

Not really... Mase kind of does, but Ami really doesn't. Ami also has a nasty cough at the moment, which isn't good. I just know that it is all going to go very badly tomorrow and he is just going to upset the kids and confuse them and it isn't fair on the kids. He has never been a father to them and I just know that they won't see him again unless I take them to see him because he won't have any reason to come back down here again because it is a while now before another long public holiday and this time of year is excellent fishing... I just hate the man so much! Argh!

I'm going to shut up ranting about it now...

 

I would say that if Ami isn't well enough to go, that is more than enough reason to cancel. Let him bitch about it, but the best interests of the kids come first before that waste of skin.

 

The vet will be here in about a half hour, and, even though I know that both of them are doing much better, it still makes me worry. Especially since I'm going to be with the vet alone. I just really hope all goes well.

 

*hugs* Emily, hope it goes well too.

 

I'm not happy because my financial aid advisor at my school won't pick up the phone or email me >< What to do, what to do..

~Lynn

 

Show up at her door with a five thousand Kelvin scowl?

 

There are people outside with my baby who were not invited and didn't call to tell me they were coming. I'm slightly upset.

 

I've stayed in my Pj's the entire day today watching TV documentaries constantly and playing the sims. I also scoffed chocolate, cried when a lady was overwhelemed by her new home on DIY SOS, and sat scrunched up on the sofa. It's 6:30pm.

God, I hate lady times of the month I just become even more lazy and imobile then usual. Oh, and even more emotional by about a thousand times.

 

^Know exactly what you mean I get even crankier than usual..

 

I'm upset because I need to go to the gym and then go to work, but I hurt my back last night and now my knee keeps giving out...ugh. I made the mistake of asking my sister if I could borrow her knee brace, and now she is trying to convince me to go to a doctor, but I don't want to.

 

poor Ash. *big hug* hope the week passes quickly. Being a girl sucks.

 

It does indeed thanks guys.

I'll be still be 'on' on my birthday *sobs*

 

At least Matt will be there!

 

Hopefully for his sake, he'll be on his best behavoire.