The Not Happy Thread

I thought the point of the tutition fee increases was that the student would have to cover more of the cost of their university fees themselves, rather than the government forking out for it? (Which I personally agree with). How can it be costing them more, if students will end up paying 3/4 of their fees instead of only 1/4?

 

So we should all take vocational classes in hair style, open up a really big salon, and live comfortably for the rest of our lives. My plan is flawless.

 

It's costing more in the short term, because the Department of Business, Innovation and Skills badly underestimated what universities would charge. They thought that the average fee would be £7,500, and only a handful of universities would charge £9,000. As things stand, the average fee is somewhere in the region of £8,600, and quite a lot of universities are charging the full £9,000.

So BIS have drastically underbudgeted, because they didn't take into account that once the top universities started charging the maximum, others would feel that they had to do so in order to compete- thinking that if they charged less, then prospective students would view it as an indicator of relative quality. To everyone else who thought about it, this seemed bound to happen.

And actually, I'm not sure whether it will end up saving money long term either. Yes, a real interest rate is being applied to the loans, but graduates will pay only when they earn £21,000. I'm not sure if this has changed, but the situation was that student debts are wiped after 25 years. So I'm not sure how much actually will end up being repaid, but it depends on how the job market fares. Which isn't terribly well, at the moment.

 

I'm on an island in the middle of the ocean, water is all around me and I feel like I'm going crazy. For the first month of being here It was great, five months later and It's truly becoming depressing. I'm heading
home in two weeks.

 

Is the student loans company actually government funded like - I thought it was independant, because in that case it wouldn't be the government loosing money. Yes, it seems common sense that all universites would charge as much as they could get. I have never been told that they get wiped after 25 years, so maybe it is different now. As far as I am aware, I don't pay anything back until I'm earning £15,000, and if I never earn that, I never pay anything back. So the same would apply for the next gen, they start paying once they hit £21,000. Which yes, at the moment it may be unlikely for it to happen, but five years down the line the job sector and the economy may look completely different again. Plus, that may be why this year, and probably in the next few more, there has/will be an increasing encouragement towards apprenteships and jobs where you can learn the skills you need whilst working. There is the arguement that we need more workers, not people with degrees which don't necessarily prepare them for jobs. Not sure how I feel about this (being one of the students going to be unprepared for a job), but I can see the point.

 

Ah today has been a rather long day. Today makes two months since I lost someone I was close to due to cancer. Tuesday had made nine months since I lost his brother (He was like my grandfather.) So It's been a rather long-ish week.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. Stuff like that blows hard, but uh, your sails stay true. And that is my attempt at an uplifting metaphor.

 

So very tempting.

He gave my bf this ridiculous list of "tenant expectations". There's nothing wrong with having a list like that but what was on it was so outlandish. It seriously took me over five minutes to read a one page list. There were so many grammatical errors and misuses of words. I'm thinking I may gothrough and correct it (with my annotations in red) and leave it for him when Zack moves.

He is vile. I have to agree with that. I swear God was keeping my mouth shut when he said that. It's a miracle I didn't verbally bitch slap that man.

I hope so too! Oh man, it sure will be!

I'm very sorry to hear that. *HUGS* I've lost too relatives and friends due to cancer. Some to the cancer itself and others to complications from treatment. It's very hard to loose people you love. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Keep a record of all these incidents - dated, and listing any witnesses. Lease or not, you may have legal recourse. Also, make sure you always pay rent with a check, not cash. In some locations, his renting out space without signing a rental agreement can be a violation of the law in itself.

Meanwhile, definitely look for a place with more sanity.

 

This. I would really hope that he isn't able to do this sort of thing without any legal recourse...

 

I'm having a really bad cold right now. Made ten times more annoying by the fact that my dad is almost deaf and my voice isn't really functioning.

 

I'm so irritated right now. My mom. The only way she knows how to relate to people is through misery (it really does love company). I get upset every time she calls --because it's just her asking me how I am and "oh, you saw your dad this weekend; I bet that was hard" and "oh, how are you feeling about [my ex]; it's been two weeks since you last saw him" and that sort of thing.

Yes, I didn't have the best weekend with my father, and yes, I'm not happy that I miss this guy, but I cant really control either of those things because I cant and don't want to control either of them as people; the only thing I can control is how I feel about it.

But my mom wont let it go; she encourages people to wallow in their misery and unhappiness, because that's the only way she knows how to reach people, because she is a deeply unhappy and miserable person. She lives in anger and frustration; she doesn't know how to be happy. Like, for my birthday, she gave me teas that are supposedly supposed to help anxiety and some perfume spray that is supposed to invoke certain feelings and a rock that she carries around that makes her feel better. Like, what does she think I'm going to do with that? Hold a rock and sit in a room that smells like freesia and weep openly about everything gone wrong? I don't know about everyone else, but that gets old to me, real fast. It makes you a miserable, sad person, and it makes people avoid you because they don't want to be infected with your attitude. It is healthy to grieve, but you cant just soak yourself in it day in and day out.

Positivity or gtfo, man...

There's no changing her, so I don't know how to deal with her anymore. I don't want to sit around in my misery and think about how the world is against me, but that's all she knows how to talk about with me. And it's not like she doesn't know me --she can talk about other things. Ask about my friends or how I'm doing with my job or how classes are going. But she just only wants to hear about the bad things in my life, and I really cant stand it anymore.

I've been avoiding her calls but eventually have to call her back or she'll think I'm being rude or have died. I don't know; I am moving so far away from here when I graduate. I know there are negative people everywhere, but it's hard to escape them sometimes when one of them happens to be your mother.

I don't know; I just don't understand. I've been through my fair share of things that life has dealt me, and I've been depressed and sad and hopeless and miserable, and I had to fight that for a very long time before I saw the sun, and sometimes it can still be hard. I just don't understand why a person would encourage another person to be sad and wallow in it and get stuck in it --purposefully! That's a horrible way to go through life, and it's toxic, and just. No wonder my mother is such a miserable, angry person. If it were a friend, people would advise me to dump them and get them out of my life because they are "toxic." But it's different when it's your mother.

I refuse to be like her.

 

^ Sorry to hear, Merc. x

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You know when you re-read your own novel and think: this really sucks? Happening.

There's parts near the end where, IMO, the dialogue is just rubbish. I don't explain things properly so the flow seems random and self-serving at times...There's a part where a character launches, very uncharacteristically, into a story for no apparent reason.

Even as I read it, though, I immediately come up with much better language to use for certain sentences, and generally superior ways of delivering each line of action/dialogue/narration. It's infuriating...I'm trying to remember that this is normal. Every novel starts off being poor, until it's polished up. Right??

It's gonna take me forever to make this novel just a little less crap. Argh. Maybe I need to let it rest and stop picking it apart when I've literally just finished the first draft...But still, i'm terrified. This could just be one awful novel that will never get anywhere.

 

I was just called a 'brainwashed American who knows nothing about the shocking truth because he only listens to his corrupt media sources imposed by the government to keep the people of the United States naive to the situations of the world' by a Palestinian girl while I was trying to show patriotism considering it is the tenth anniversary of the Second Day of Infamy. Hell, and all I said was that I was remember this day of infamy. Kinda ruined my day a bit.

 

That's the sort of thing that editing is there to fix, hun.

No, it won't.

You do, hun, and I can promise you that it isn't. I know I've only just started reading it, but it's started well, and you're a great writer. You need to let it lie for a bit, so you can come at it with fresh eyes, and a red pen. You've done great with the first draft. Don't start getting down on yourself now.

 

Believe me, Ash, I feel that way about my writing as well when I finish the first draft. I usually let it rest for a day or two, then attack it with a fresher mind. You should feel accomplished -- amazingly so -- for finishing that draft in the first place, and the fact that you can think up better things like that right away is awesome. All novels, no matter who writes them, need polishing. And it won't take forever, and it's not crap, because you're ridiculously talented.

 

I don't get why people impose negativity on others too. Even if I'm feeling rubbish and pessimistic, I try not to impose it too much on other people. Just because I'm unhappy, doesn't mean I have to make everyone else feel that way too. So yeah, sorry your mother is like that. Stay positive, optimistic and show her that you can overcome bad things because you're strong.

At least you've written a novel. Be proud that you have something to work with. Yeah, rereading it now may seem awful but no first draft of a novel is perfect, far from it in fact. Focus on how you've managed to write a novel, let it rest, enjoy the satisfaction of a completed first draft. And then you can reread and start editing it so you have a fresher perspective on it.

Which, on a related note, leads me to my unhappy. I really need to write a draft of my novel. I just can't seem to force myself to write it. It's not like I don't want to or don't have any ideas for it or anything, I'm just lacking motivation and drive to get on with it. It's really frustrating.

 

Aw, thank you so much! :redface: Ditto to you, miss!

Eunoia, good point. Thanks.

As for your novel, I was the same. Once you force yourself, after the first few times, you'll eventually get into the swing of things. Honestly, you'll look forward to writing it once you get going. x

 

I think that this is the most important thing to remember, Mercurial. Too often people just accept what their parents/surroundings are like and use them as an excuse for why things haven't went well, or why they have turned out the way they have. As long as you know that you do not like the sort of person your mother is (in relation to this, I'm not on about her as a whole person), and you can see that, you can try to avoid being like it too. I know it is hard when the people you love affect you, and it is often difficult to say something to them about it for fear of hurting their feelings. But this is your life, and you should be able to take control - have you ever talked to your mam about it, and told her that the way she talks with you gets you down? You could perhaps ask her to stop focussing on the negative, or be more supportive? If that doesn't work - then it is up to you to weight up how much you like speaking to your mam, and how upset she is leaving you after the end of conversation. It may be harsh, but if you feel you would be better of not speaking very often because of the way she feels, well then maybe you have to do what is best for you.

My mam has some issues of her own, and I'm starting univeristy soon and she wanted me to stay within a thirty minute drive, or even better, live at home. And for a time I considered doing that, because I didn't want to upset her and I was worried that moving away would make her ill again. But (rightly or wrongly), I eventually decided that this is my life, and I have to do what's best for me. Yes, when I first applied for London my mam wasn't impressed, and we've went through phases of not talking to one another, to almost pretending it wasn't happening. But eventually she got past all of that and is trying to be supportive, and I really appreciate that she is doing that for me.

I know they are different situations, and I can't tell you how to live your relationship with your mam, you are the only one to do that. But perhaps talking about it, or just doing what is best for you for a while, will be the best option. Either way, I hope you feel better about it soon.

 

Don't worry about her. Now get that American flag of yours out onto your porch and carry on with your day. =D

As for my not happy? Well...it's Monday. Need I say more??

 

I'm still sick, and clearly I'm a bit out of it as well. Was watching Game of Thrones on my pc, and it was way too loud, so naturally I press the volume button on the TV remote and have no idea why it doesn't do anything...

And I'm completely unable to think clearly or write anything. Also, tomorrow my friends and I were gonna have a study session (which is usually more making cupcakes and watching TV than studying), but I'm too sick to go. I'm also missing literature class, that I love. At least I'll be well enough for Friday's class with Richard And old teacher, but he has a sexy voice and is really fun.

 

Sometimes my body just likes to put me in pain and scare the shit out of me, I swear.

Last Christmastime, I got really sick and ended up being hospitalized for a day. I was so sick that I actually threw my back out because I was vomiting so dramatically and frequently. I could hold down anything but fluids for about a week. It was awesome. The doctors never figured out what was wrong. They didn't even know if it was something viral or bacterial. They just gave me a strong, multipurpose antibiotic and hoped it worked. Which I don't know if it did --if the antibiotic made it go away or if it went away on its own or if it just went into remission.

I remember very clearly when I felt something that was wrong in my tummy. My mom hates when I turn down her dinners (I'm picky), so I felt bad having to tell her that I needed to skip, but my stomach just hurt so bad. I didn't want to tell her how painful it was, but it felt like I had swallowed a serrated knife, and that blade was running allowing my intestines or something. A few minutes later, I was sweating, shaking, and when I wasn't vomiting, I was screaming in pain. It was horrible. My dad, ever the under-dramatic person, didn't want to take me to the hospital, so I stayed like that for four hours until I started losing consciousness and control of my body due to exhaustion and dehydration. I couldn't even get dressed or walk to the car; my dad had to do it for me.

Every month or two, that initial feeling of something being wrong in my tummy creeps back and hurts so much that if I am standing up I fall down and double over. It makes me wonder if that bug never went away and is just maybe hiding out in my system... Which scares me; I never wanna feel that awful again. I think I should see a doc about that.

 

Jesus, Merc! I would definitely go to the doctor. And if they can't find what's wrong, I would go to another one. Until you find out what's going on.

 

Can we whine about anything? Well, I have something if we can. Why do people spell girl 'gurl' in texts messages! The same thing applies to 'liek, 'kewl, and many others. It's not like those 'words' are less letters than the actual word, so why say it... or rather type it? Does anyone else get mad about that?

Also, my friend keeps trying to start political wars with me which angers me.

 

I'm not fond of verbicide either.