The Not Happy Thread

I have mixed feelings. A Mixture of happiness and sadness. I don't know why.

 

HAHAHA that's such a great idea! I was just going to email her and tell her to talk to Joel about things from now on since my answers aren't good enough, but I like this suggestion better. Totally doing it.

 

I'm so tired all I can do is cry. I've not had a good night's sleep in over a week. Either from pain flare ups or these kittens. We have to take shifts with who's room they go in because the other cats don't get along with them yet. No one gets that it has a bigger impact on my body when I don't get enough rest. I go around tired as it is. And now I feel like a shitty excuse for a human being because I threw water on both of them because they were fixing to mate. (they're too young to be fixed or conceive so it's just incredibly obnoxious) I'm just so tired. Now I feel like I'm a crazy person going on a forum and ranting about how I can't get any sleep.. I just need some rest. I don't care if I have to sleep all freaking day people can just deal with it. I'm going to hit the wall and start puking and get too exhausted to function like I did around Christmas. And now I'm worried the kittens will hate me because I poured water on them.

 

^ I hope you get some decent sleep and rest soon. And I'm sure your kittens don't hate you, pouring water on them doesn't harm them.

Hope you both feel better soon. If you need to talk about it, feel free to PM me.

 

Urgh. Head and neck aching rather alot, and I feel queezy...Definitely coming down with something.

 

I'm soooo frustrated with people taking my words and making something else out of it! :/ Gah. Been a long day anyways without having to deal with that nonsense.

 

Just feel bummed. Didn't do so well on my test. =(

 

@Link, I'm sorry, you always have the next test to look forward to!

 

I feel the same way, Link.

I aced my sociology test, but I probably got a low B or a high C on my linguistics exam (who the hell cares about linguistics anyway... oh, apparently I do?). And don't even talk to me about chemistry. I have been eating healthier and avoided caffeine, but yesterday I had two caffeinated rinks and was up until 5AM just shaking and unable to sleep. Consequently, slept right through my alarm and missed my chemistry quiz. Yup. No make up quizzes either. Awesome.

I've never overslept for a class once in my life before. Naturally it would have to be the day i had important shit to do.

 

Too... much... homework...

I have an essay due on Friday plus I'm supposed to hold a presentation (a small one luckily) on the same day, and I just found out about both yesterday... great. Also got two essays due next week, and a phonetics assignment. Also way behind on my reading because I've been so ill lately. At least a good friend in my class let me copy her notes from the days I was out sick.

Also, I really need to pee, but I'm too tired to leave my bed and the toilet is so far away... like, way upstairs.

 

I hate those nightmares, where I wake up and I'm too scared to go back to sleep.. :/

 

Can't remember the last time I had a nightmare like that, thankfully.

Though I have had dreams that left me in a confused state of mind when I woke up.

 

Ordered a guitar a couple of days ago and have just found out it's been returned to the delivery depot. Apparently they couldn't find my house, which seems a bit weird as I live literally five minutes away from the depot...

Anyway, not happy as I've no work to do tonight and was looking forward to a few hours of rocking out.

 

I hate geometry. Seriously, if I didn't need an extra year for college, I'd drop out. I might still do that if it's a possibility....

 

Okay, this is both extremely embarrassing and tragic. While re-organizing my computer files, I accidentally deleted my Amos Garnier story. For good.

That's right, 6K words right down the toilet.

But, yet, I'm calm in the assurance that it was just 6K words of crap. Story was a train wreck of two plots that could easily be two seperate mysteries for Amos to handle. Also, my former murder victim (re: Amos' caretaker, Wilkins) has made it clear to me that he wishes to be alive and have a character-development subplot, which completely turned the plot upside down.

I think I've learnt something about writing today: I've learnt that 6K words means nothing if the plot has jumbled beyond recognition and sometimes it's best to just shoot it down and start anew.

 

Hey Link,

Sorry to hear about that it sucks when that happens

 

I know how you feel. I already deleted some stories that I was working on by mistake. Once Bruno deleted my whole writing folder by mistake. Needless to say, I almost killed him. BUT there are softwares that you can use to try to recover deleted files from your hard drive. Some are paid, but have a trial period. Why don't you try it? Just google "recover deleted files" or something, but try to do it fast.

Even if you can't recover the files, you probably have a better idea on how to start the story now and how to proceed. Hope you feel better!

Petty complaint: I've recently moved and although the house is big enough for me and Bruno, the kitchen is reaaally small. I mean, REALLY small. If I open the refrigerator's door, no one can pass through. I have to crouch to be able to open the close, and I can't be directly in front of it, because the refrigerator blocks my way. And the grill we have has to be on the living room cause there is no space in the kitchen...
I liked this place, but sometimes these things annoy me.

 

Link, if all you did was delete it, it's probably perfectly intact in your computer's recycle bin. Have you tried to fish it out from there?

 

^ You could try that... and try to salvage something from it? Sorry that happened... I hate that, it's happened to me before.

 

Thanks Eunoia. I feel a bit better today. I slept.. a lot. I don't feel like I'll hit the wall so much anymore.

Awww Gigi. I know that feeling. Math was the hardest subject for me in school. I would sit and just cry over my math homework so many days. My parents are both convinced if the books had been colorful I would have done better. I have a feeling they're right. lol

I'm so sorry, Link. I thought I lost a ton of my work when the flash drive failed (should have backed it up) but then I found it stashed on another flash drive! I'm glad in this case there is at least a silver lining. I had something like that happen with my website I was building for my jewelry business. The program crapped out on me multiple times when I was about to save the site design. The good news is despite the frustration it turned out even better by the end of it. I'm sure the same will be true with your book.

Natsuki I hardly see that as a petty complaint. lol We have a tiny pantry at my house and there's five people here. The pantry is the size of something you'd expect to see in an apartment not a two story house. And there's very little counter space. I don't think people here cook many of their own meals. The stove is really small too. It doesn't make a lot of sense. *shrug* I agree it can be incredibly aggravating.

I feel kinda sad about a realization I had last night. When I go to doctor's appointments and MRIs deep down I feel like it will be okay. I still feel like I have to panic every time. Part of it is I'm claustrophobic and even with valium pre mri it still unnerves me terribly. Then there's all the smells, sights, the way the hospital gown feels.. It brings all the bad memories back every single time. I get that same sick feeling in my stomach whenever I see the roads leading up to the hospital. It brings back all the fear, pain, and uncertainty of those years of misdiagnosis and treatment.

It's weird because between MRIs I almost never worry! There's days I still feel like it didn't happen to me. Logically I know it did.. I mean I'm still living with the collateral from it. In some odd way I feel a sense of detachment from it and sometimes I have to touch my scar to root myself in the reality of it. :/

It sucks that I feel a peace about it but it's the memories are what get me when I go in for scans/doctors.

 

Terra, you're an incredibly strong person and I know you will pull through just fine. But I know the feeling of dreading something because it reminds you of what you don't want to be reminded of.

 

I've been looking for cords (as in corduroy trousers) for years and finally I've found a decent pair in H&M. But there were only sizes 8 and 18 so not in my size. I guess I'll have to check regularly in hope of my size being there.

Also, I am sort of freaking out. I'm stewarding at a festival and I guess I'm doubting my confidence to do what is necessary. And I'm back to uni soon which is scaring the hell out of me because of new modules, tutors, and probably class mates, and the amount of work expected and I don't feel prepared at all.

 

I don't know why, but I feel like I'm 72, not 22. I've ran through potential reasons:

(1) Test next Tuesday? Not a problem. I can easily study for it and be ready.
(2) Cloudy? Yeah, I tend to be a tad bummed when its overcast.
(3) Slept on my shoulder funny? Perhaps.

It's Friday, and I feel old! D=

 

Link, I know how bummed I can get and how old/out of it I've felt. It's not a fun feeling at all. Maybe you need to get out of the rut your in a bit more and do or hang out with people you wouldn't normally. Just a thought...

 

I'm feeling the same way. I've had a constant headache for about a week, and the doctor says it's stress related. I can only think that It's because I'm worrying, just as you are, about starting my 3rd and final year. I hate that part so much. FINAL.