The Not Happy Thread

Yes. Carl Jung would be stroking his beard with satisfaction, his Shadow having found a public venue.

No, not necessarily, but there is an undeniable tendency.

 

I agree with this. I'm sad too that so many people I was friends with are inactive but there are always new friends to be made and old friends who are still around.

That is really awful. :/ People can be rotten sometimes. That's very true. Pity the fool as Mr T would say. lol

Pain med woes are always difficult. I wound up quitting taking all of mine because they made me feel so horrible I couldn't function. My body has decided it really hates pain medication for some reason. Which is unfortunate. I've resorted to using homeopathic methods whenever possible because they don't make me feel horrible. It's still rough because nothing will ever "cure" it. You have to find medication or methods or both where the pros outweigh the cons which is a battle in and of itself. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in the whole prescription pain med minefield.

 

Not happy as my ex is still making life hard for me to see my daughter. So far this year I have not been able to see her for her birthday or on father's day. Going through the courts and now I have to have 6 supervised sessions as she believes I do not know how to look after my daughter!

This is not only upsetting, but also completely insulting as when we were still together I would take my daughter out for the day on the weekends so that my ex could have a break and this would mean that yes, I had to change nappies, feed her etc etc and I enjoyed doing those sorts of things.

Now I have to jump through hoops to satisfy her so that I can then see my daughter for a few hours each weekend and then eventually when she is happy I will gain staying contact. I find this deeply frustrating as the court is faced everyday with fathers who are being dragged in there by unhappy ex's as they want nothing to do with their children. I pay my CSA (as again my ex decided suddenly that she did not trust me to support our daughter without legal intervention, even though I had paid her a set amount each week without fail that was actually more than the CSA have asked for), I want to be in my child's life, but the court and my ex seem determined to make this an extremely difficult situation for me.

 

I'm a little unhappy about the weather forecast here in Maine. We've had a lot of rain lately, and more is on the way.

The thing is that a lack of sunshine can be bad for my mental health, as well as everybody else's mental health.

 

This can't be easy. I don't get many cases that concern custody since I work for the federal court, but there are some circumstances that can make a case bump up to fed (U.S.). If a person is in arrears for child support ten grand or more and two years or more, then the feds take over. I only mention that because when a case is in my hands to translate, it's an old case with tons of hearings and minutes and findings, etc. You can follow the course of a case, and more importantly, it becomes easy to see how sometimes people use these situations in a retaliatory manner, and though there is a cultural precept that it's the wife who's typically the victim, the paperwork that has come through my hands says that this is a myth. It can easily come from either side. I feel for you.

 

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope and pray that the judge sees sense and rules in your favour (or whoever makes these decisions). Regardless of everything else, a child deserves to have both of her parents in her life.

 

That's really sad, Mauthos. One thing I never did was discourage the relationship my son had with his father after we split up. But if it's any consolation, my ex used to have similar trouble with his ex. He used to tell me, "kids figure it out" and I truly believe that is true as long as you can maintain contact. You may have to put up with a lot, there's no easy answer.

Here are my two 'I've been there' jewels: Don't whine to the kid about your ex, don't bad mouth the ex, stay above it. And just let your daughter know you love her and care about her. She will figure out that Mom's not right about you if you do that.

 

Thanks guys really appreciate the comments and support.

 

I don't know how custody matters are handled in the UK. The US laws are intended to prevent either parent from denying custody to the other unless there is a clear risk to the child's health and safety; even so, things can turn very nasty, with all the anger and resentment in breakups.

All I can say is to hang in there, always present a calm and responsible image, and never, ever put your daughter in the middle of the dispute with your ex, even if she does. Payment through the CSA works in your favor, as there is an official trail of your timely payments.

 

I'm unhappy about having to inconveniently turn off my computer and having to unplug it because of all the thunder and lightning we've gotten here in Maine over the last week or so.

 

Custody laws are the same in Ireland as the UK. In the event of a break up, sole custody goes straight to the mother regardless of circumstance until the father gets his day in court and unless mom's a psycho, axe-murdering, heroine addict dad hasn't a leg to stand on.

The shredded t-shirt is in the back of my wardrobe.

 

I'm very sorry to hear this. I couldn't agree more with the other people who have commented. Staying cool and collected is the best thing you can do. Never ever drag your kid into the middle of problems you have with your ex. Always good advice. I agree with Ginger that kids pick up on that sort of thing. Kids are much more aware than people give them credit for.

I really hope things work out for you because it sounds like you really love your daughter and it makes me happy to see a father with that level of dedication. Your daughter will realize one day if not now then down the line that you love her very much. I imagine she'll wind up resenting her mother for trying to cause a rift in your relationship with her. Either way I know it's hard just do your best not to feed into that. I think your ex will eventually run out of steam if you don't react to her. By that I don't mean give up and stop following those legal channels I mean be as civil as possible with her. Again, I really hope things work out for you.

 

18 fire fighters killed in AZ today.

 

Again thanks guys, all your comments are appreciated. I am trying to remain calm and waiting for the contact centres to get back to me as once I have 'proven' that I am capable of looking after my daughter I then have the interim court order that states I will get to see my daughter one day every weekend for a set amount of hours that will increase until I have staying contact. It sort of is a light, albeit a very dim light at the moment, at the end of the tunnel, but these contact centres do not seem to want to rush anything (3 weeks going into 4 since my last court date and still no response from them). I do email my ex every monday, expressing a wish to see my daughter the following weekend, but so far she has ignored this and has not responded. I am keeping these emails though as proof that I have tried to see my daughter.

Fingers crossed that by the end of the year (hopefully sooner) all this will be sorted and I can have the relationship with my daughter that I want.

Thanks again.

 

I heard that of the fire fighters... It's horrible

Just got back almost all my result from my exams... and I didn't pass a single one. We have to have at least 10/20 to pass and I have two 9... -_-'
I failed almost everything during the January exams as well and I'm really starting to doubt if I can do this :/ I know I haven't studied enough in January and I had a lot on my mind during the June exams.... but still. Now I have the study almost a years worth of information in one month and a half... my summer is over. I told myself not to worry and see how much I can do and do the courses I failed in re-sit again next year but right now I'm despairing and doubting. I'm actually thinking if it wouldn't be better if I just would get a job.... but then again I don't really want to work just yet and I wouldn't know what. But on the other side... I wouldn't have a clue what to do when I finished my education. I feel so stupid right now since I actually ruined my own summer.

 

It's cooler here than it has been, but the humidity is so high I stick to every non-porous surface.

Throw me against the outside of a glass skyscraper, and I'd stick there like a tree on a windowpane.

 

I'm unhappy about the fact we've had a lot of rain in Maine lately, and am unhappy that the rain we've had won't be headed towards the dry west of the U.S. They need it so bad out there with the fires and all.

 

Over the past few days, I've been feeling down for no reason. It's freaking me out, seriously

 

Just heard my aunt has just a couple more months to live unless a miracle happens She's the last family my mother has left. She wanted to take me with her to Norway and I was so looking forward to that... but now that will never happen. We all knew there was a chance she would never recover but it was all going so good and then suddenly... I hate cancer more than anything else.

 

I know it has little to do with writing, but perhaps a kind of "Cancer outreach" thread would be a helpful outlet for people to discuss their experiences with cancer. I'm sure most people, myself included, have some insight to share.

 

The knowledge that my dad is no longer to be trusted with power tools or sharp edged tools of any kind.

 

I'm unhappy about the fact that on the world news, the Middle East is once again making headlines via violence.

They'll never be lasting peace in that area, I'm sorry to say.

 

Is it just me, or has the tone of this place gotten a lot more argumentative since I've been gone?

It feels like nowadays, you're more likely to see arguments pop up in threads than continued discussions, and I don't know if that's due to a changing moderator structure or a changing member structure or both, but it makes me sad.

 

It has. The new moderation policy dictates a much longer leash. I'm sad to see it, because it makes this site much more like every other Internet forum. I liked it better when the site was dominated by writing rather than topical debate and petty squabbling.

 

I guess this could go in the not happy thread?

I'm finding it hard to make connections with people in real life; that is, outside of a small core group of friends of family. My awkwardness reaches level 9000 sometimes and occasionally I laugh at myself for being so ridiculous. I guess you could say I suffer from mild anxiety in social situations: sweats, shakiness. I find myself avoiding people to escape from these uncomfortable feelings. I feel like I'm restricting my personality or hiding it from practically every new person that I meet. I fear if I reveal myself, my true feelings, I don't know how people would take me. I suppose I've got a dark sense of humour, at times a cynical outlook. Often I find myself being someone who I'm not. I think this is what causes the anxiety, I don't know. It can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming. On occasions I feel like hitting the self-destruct button with drink and drugs, and I know how counter-productive this is.