The Not Happy Thread

I'm sorry, that's hard to do. But a peaceful death is a good thing.

 

My 4 y.o. is adamantly against taking any kind of medicine. I had to wrestle him to the ground and give him medicine via an oral syringe. He spit it all out and made himself barf up the rest. He had an earache, and I kept trying to get him to take some meds, even offering a lollipop. No dice. Today, his preschool called, saying he had pus oozing from both eyes, so I had to take him to the doc. He has conjunctivitis in both eyes and an ear infection. Last night, my husband tried to give him advil, and when he refused, he was given a choice of the medicine or going to bed. He chose bed. Today, I told him he has to take this medicine. He's refusing. He said he'd prefer a shot. I told him that wasn't an option. I told him he could have candy. No dice. I told him he could have a toy he really wanted at Target today, while we were waiting for the prescription to be filled, but it was conditioned on him taking the medicine. He put the toy back on the shelf.

I'm now waiting for my husband to get home so we can hold him down and administer the eye drops and antibiotics. It is not going to be fun.

 

Bummer. That syringe in the side of the cheek always looks easier when the nurses do it than when parents try. Kids actually fuss more for their parents than they do with the nurses.

Is he taking in any liquids at all?

What is the drug? Amoxicillin is easy to disguise, but Bactrim (Trimethoprim-Sulfa) is harder. IF the med does not say, "do not freeze", you can make a small popsicle with the med mixed in. You also need to check if the med is compatible with calcium if you use yogurt, and will an acidic liquid affect it if you use apple or orange juice.

You can also do suppositories with acetaminophen instead of the advil unless you have some reason you are avoiding the tylenol.

For the eye drops, (and maybe the clinic showed you) don't try to force his lids open, clean his eye of goo then hold his head still while he's on his back, put the drops in the inner canthus and it will go into the eye as soon as he opens them or blinks. For infants you can pull the lower lid down to put meds in, but holding a toddler's head still while you have your fingers near their eyes is a nearly impossible task and more traumatic than just holding the head still.

 

Cephalosporin. But it doesn't really matter -- this is my PITA child, who has decided that he is against all medicines of any kind. He also is an extremely picky eater, so even if I were able to put it in a food, there is no guarantee he'd eat most of the food. In fact, it's likely he'd eat very little of it. I never know when he'll drink or eat all of something he's given.

The drops did not go well. We did try to force his eyes open. I'll try the inner canthus tomorrow morning.

He doesn't seem to have a fever, so I'm not bothering with advil or tylenol. Were it not for the conjunctivitis, I was thinking of giving the ear infection a few days to see if it cleared up on its own without drugs. But now we're all in.

He seems to be drinking okay.

 

Cephs, too bad, that rules out the popsicles and mixing it with any milk product, it binds to calcium.

I'm guessing you know all these things but they didn't work anyway. I've been there. But here are my suggestions, knowing you probably know this:

The only option from the sound of it is the syringe in the side of the cheek, a little at a time, wait for a swallow then a little more.

Don't ask if, ask which. So, which do you want, apple juice or applesauce after (or whatever the options)? And if he refuses to answer (predictably) answer for him and don't let the exchange take more than a single verbal exchange. If he says, no I want the applesauce (or whatever the options are) you've won. If not, don't give it any time to escalate.

It does sometimes take one person to hold the head and one to put the medicine syringe or dropper in the cheek. Even pediatric nurses need an extra pair of hands with some kids. The best way to hold a kid you are giving oral meds to is with one person holding him in a lap with a tight hug.

For the eye drops, you'll have to decide if you can get his head stably horizontal, but that's harder in a lap than flat on a surface. When you do the eye drops, tell him it's OK to close his eyes, all he needs to do is keep his head flat. Do one eye at a time, wait until he blinks and the medicine enters the eye before doing the next eye, it's easier to use gravity in one direction at a time. After you put the drops in, they'll pool in the canthus, then tell him to blink or just tell him he can open his eyes now if he's not cooperating. He'll blink reflexively distributing the drops over the eye.

I couldn't find a good picture, so try to picture this strange description: The person holding the head has the hardest job and I would have them put their whole arms around the head like you are hugging someone from the top of their head around the chin, your head close to the child's face, giving calming "we love yous" or "it'll be over in a second" or whatever. The person with the dropper just about lays over the kid in another comforting hug that prevents thrashing, holding the chest and arms with one arm and dispensing the drops with the other.

Revise with anything that works.

 

Thanks, Ginger. In related news, I'm expecting to wake up with my eyes glued shut tomorrow.

 

Just explain what a suppository is and where it goes, then smile and say "Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Your choice"

Sure that's not my long lost kid? I'm not kidding, my G/F practically has to pin me down and wrench my jaw open with a crowbar to get me to eat. She's not a bad cook by any means either. I just hate food of all kinds.

 

Typically a toddler is unable to reason that well. But you can say, bottom or mouth, those are your only choices.

 

He will totally call our bluff. He'd go ahead and say he'll take the suppository. And it would be worse for us than for him.

 

So after telling me a couple of weeks back that I might have to leave the US and my wife and baby behind while my immigration papers come through, now they are telling me I can't leave the US while my application is filed, not even in the case of a family emergency in Ireland or I will face a 3-10 year exclusion order, oh and by the way, I can't work for "around" 12 months. Seriously, can any fckn idiot get a job writing the rules in USCIS/Homeland Security?

 

@erebh: I just hope the quality of their advice hasn't improved since the last time, and that it's all just bs. When you get the papers, maybe everything will be ok

 

How long are you forced to stay here for?

That sucks though, they really should let you work at the very least and go to and from Ireland. Maybe I'll smuggle you in my suitcase when I go to Ireland next summer?

 

@erebh what a pain. I don't know much about immigration law, but I do know it can get quite complicated. Please be sure to find a competent attorney in case anything should happen and you do need to leave the country at all.

 

"about" 12 months, I want to be here, but I want the freedom to go home without getting banned from here and I also want to work. Not a lot to ask really is it?

 

Terrible news about the storm in the Philippines. Very worried and concerned, I have friends living in the area that's been hit the hardest, and we haven't heard anything from them.

 

So much pain right now. I have tendonitis in my elbow and a strained rotator cuff. So much pain. Now, the fingers are starting to feel a little numb. Not good.

 

That tooth that was giving me so much trouble last month finally gave out and had to be extracted. Not happy at all.

 

I have family there, haven't heard from them either. On another note, my prayers go out to all harmed, killed, or stranded because of the hurricane. It sucks.

 

Sorry to hear that! Have your heard from them yet? Happily I received news that my friends were unharmed, however all of their belongings are destroyed. But indeed, prayers for all those affected by the hurricane.

 

Still haven't heard from them, but I bet they're okay. Thank goodness your friends are safe, though the belongings damage sucks. They really are lucky to be alive.

 

This forum is awful for encouraging procrastination! What am I procrastinating? Not writing ...I'd love to be doing that. Nope. I'm procrastinating housecleaning. HATE housecleaning. But I also hate living in a horribly messy and borderline dirty house. What to do, what to do ...I know, I'll go onto the forum for a while...

 

Tell me about it. I'm sitting here, bleary eyed, after only getting two and a half hours sleep. I really should be getting ready to go out, and I'm sitting here thinking, just another cup of coffee and a few more threads.

On the upside. (If I'm allowed to put a positive spin on it, this is the NOT HAPPY thread, after all.) I actually managed to write 4,000 decent-ish words yesterday. That's the best word count I've managed in a day for the last 6 months. So, sod it! All work and no play...

 

RIP Doris Lessing. She was a giant in British literature and won the Nobel a few years ago. I've never read anything by her, but The Golden Notebook has been on my to-read list for a while now.

 

My mom doesn't care about my priorities AT ALL. She's decided that her home reno projects are more important than my uni stuff. It's to the point where I feel like dropping out because I just can't keep up because of her. I don't know what to do anymore. I keep having to stay up late and do my homework, but then it sucks and she yells at me because I didn't do well enough.

As well, my job sucks. My managers treat me like shit and they're so clueless about everything. They transferred a new one over from another store and she smells like a lovely combo of BO and poop. I'm not kidding. And she's taken a liking to me so she's always hovering around me just chatting. Yuck.

I'm trying to work on my novel and another project (a YouTube thing) but I don't even have time for my schoolwork, let alone other projects.

My "best friend" doesn't care about me in the slightest...doesn't answer my texts or Facebook messages, in fact he told me he didn't have Facebook and never planned to get it...then I searched his name because I lost his number and figured it was worth a try and found out he lied.

My ex-fiancé is married and probably has a kid on the way, my ex best friend has a new baby, and another ex friend is also expecting. My own boyfriend can't even get up off his butt and make a resume...and that's the only thing in the way of him proposing. So basically, he doesn't care. However, he has decided he would much rather spend over $700 on the new Xbox, and buy almost every new game that's coming out for it. I feel like I'm dating my first boyfriend all over again.

Everywhere I go on campus or at work or even just around the neighbourhood I keep "seeing" my ex (the one that abused me in literally every way: physically, mentally/emotionally, and sexually). I'll see someone and think it's him, then I'll look again and realize the person looks nothing like him. Sadly, his favourite brown sweater was rather popular, and I see it a lot on guys around campus. Cue the panic attacks...several times a day. Even though it happened over two years ago, I still feel as though it was last week. I can't tell my mom what's going on because when I told her another ex of mine sexually assaulted me she laughed and said I probably deserved it. I did, however, tell a TA at my high school shortly after it happened, and she said I deserved it because I chose not to report it.

My other "best friend" also doesn't care about me...just wants to use me as a sex toy, even though he knows full well that my ex raped me AND I'm in a committed relationship (even if it does suck). On top of that, every time we hang out all he can talk about is money. "Guess how much I make." "Guess how much this cost." "I'm thinking of getting a new car...guess how much the one I'm getting costs." And here's me, making barely $300 every two weeks and crying every night because living here at home with my mom is just way too stressful, but I can't afford to move out.

We took in a new exchange student a month and a half ago...all she does is ruin everything and piss my mom off. Then my mom has to take it out on me because this girl is a guest so we can't make her feel unwelcome at all. It wasn't me who went to the "movies" for five hours after school without getting permission...multiple times.

I have an essay due in ten hours that I have no idea how to start. I would've gotten it done earlier but as I said, my mom doesn't care about my stuff at all.

Rant over...for now.

 

Please find a therapist who can work with you on these issues. Sexual assault is too big of an issue to handle all by yourself, with no support whatsoever. This is obviously causing a lot of problems that are affecting all areas of your life.

Sending you good thoughts.