The Not Happy Thread

Establishing boundaries is a must, and telling folks you don't like the way they treat you is a good way to do that. What they do with that information is their own business, until the violate the boundary you've laid down.

I had this very conversation last night with the gal I recently broke up with. She wanted to remain friends, but refuses to hear me when I disagree with her, disparaging my feelings, talking over me, and saying some truly hateful things. When this happened last night for the fourth time in as many weeks, I simply told her, "You will not talk to me like that. This is not negotiable," and then I hung up. Put her on block -- which is a good thing because I can see she's shitting up my phone with texts and calls.

Establish your boundaries and stick to them. What the other person does with that information is on them.

 

There’s an internet community this reminds me of...

Reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists

For children (and adults) who were raised by narcissistic parents. I moved out and cut contact with my dad when I was eighteen. I didn’t realize he was narcissistic until years later, when I found that website.

Good luck. Boundaries and all.

Edit: there’s actually some good advice on that website. There’s a technique called “gray rocking” that can help. I can’t explain it, but... like... basically you pretend to be a gray rock. Idk. It’s a technique for living with an abusive parent.

 

Thank you. I'll check it out.

I moved out around seven years ago, but recently went through a bad break up where I was left homeless. So I had to move back until I found a new apartment. I'm moving in December. I was going to move this weekend, but we haven't got the all-clear yet, so there might be another week...

 

My psychologist have been telling me that for a while. Before I lived away from my parents, so it didn't matter as much. When she got too much I could block out her calls. Then I had to (temporary) move back in. Things have been worse since, but will hopefully be better when I move out again.

 

()

 

I saw an article somewhere, can't find it, where a tech support guy confessed that 90% of their job is done by googling the client's problem and reading the solution back to them.

 

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I was supposed to go Christmas shopping with my family today. Instead, I've got to go to the doctor because I'm running a fever. It seems like every time I have some kind of social event, something comes up to disrupt it.

 

My stupid king size bed is IKEA.

So I'm going to have the dismantle all the teensy-tiny pieces and magically reassemble it again in my new apartment.

Also, I want to wash my sheets before I move, but I'm also terrified I'm somehow going to forget them in the laundry machines here

Basically I've been waking up at 2-4AM every morning having needless anxieties that turn my stomach.

 

Somehow, a king size bed can feel tiny when you have a cat. They are liquid, and expand to fill all available space.

Moving is incredibly stressful, especially moving out of the parental home. When I did it, I ended up with no bed at all - I slept on blankets on the floor until my new bed arrived. And it was fine.

 

Sleeping on the floor is allegedly really good for your back. I wouldn't know, though, last time I was bedless the person I was living with demanded we use an air mattress. One of the sweatiest, deflatey-est instruments of nighttime torture ever inflicted upon mankind.

 

lol

In my defense, I had a respectable twin extra-long forever until just a year or two ago. But I have hormonal insomnia, and my mom gets all these crazy ideas about what's actually causing my insomnia. She decided it was because my bed was too small for me and told me to get a king. I didn't want to, but my brother had just bought a king mattress then immediately moved to London without even using it.

So for a free new mattress and the piece of mind of obeying my mom, I sucked it up and bought an IKEA frame with storage for all the space I lost.

Turns out my mom was wrong, he didn't have a king; he has a CALIFORNIA KING and that sucker was WAY too large for the frame.

So I slept on a mattresss that overflowed out of the frame for a year, but my mom told me the mattress angle from being too large was now the cause of my insomnia.

So I gave in again and bought my own regular king size mattress.

And it cost me probably a total of $2k to accommodate her—and now I have to move & I don't want to spend MORE money on a new bed when I just bought it within the past year/two years.

But yeah, I have a king size bed which is super nice in that it fits 3 adult women comfortably, which is really all I need in life.

I have traditional futon my mom's lending me till I get my bed set up.

I think it's the act of disassembling the bed & reassembling it that's the most stressful. You just KNOW odd pieces & parts are gonna go missing. . .

And yes—the cat will make himself master of the bed. He gets peeved when my friend sleeps with us and acts all betrayed because really the whole bed is his and I should be grateful he likes snuggling occasionally enough to allow me to have some small portion of it (typically the edge of the left side).

 

California King? That for California King sized people or for the off chance the whole family wants to sleep in the same bed?

I know the pain of assembling, disassembling and reassembling an Ikea bed. Though it was a puny 140cm bed (for two!) which in Americanese probably translates to Peasant Size. Took great pleasure when we finally hacked the frame into pieces.

(Also, sorry about the Murica roast. Things are so much smaller over here)

 

Steady on, just keep scrolling, Iain, nothing to see here, keep those comments which I know you aren't thinking to your damn self

 

Breathe, Izzy, breathe...

Hang in there!!!! Hugs to you, if you like them.

 

Hang in there, @Sclavus !!!! Sending you best thoughts and extra-good vibes. You can do this!

 

I really can't imagine sleeping on the floor is good for anything! It might be that I'm 26 going on 80, but if I sleep to close to the floor I simply can't get up in the morning. Pains everywhere! I can only imagine how sleeping on the actual floor would be.


Actually, I can imagine, but last time I tried I was drunk, scared and didn't get much sleep. I don't remember getting up - but I don't think pain was the worst part of it.

 

Don't worry.

It's the prevailing theory that some scandalous lesbian love fest happens in my room.

People just will assume I'm queer, and most won't accept my insistence to the contrary.

Granted, I am a little overly lovey-dovey with my best friend and neither of us have ever had a boyfriend to date and I do have a bad habit of flirting with girls.

So I sort of set myself up for that. . .

 

I personally don't have a problem with which way you swing. I'll accept that you are hetero if that's what you consider yourself as.

 

So fucking sick of being shouted over by my coworkers. One of them just came up to me and my boss to continue a conversation about the best way to teach public speaking (memorized vs. notecards). The third time he interrupted my before I could even complete a sentence, I just told him to keep talking until he was done, and walked away.

These people have no social skills whatsoever.