The Not Happy Thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Cogito, Nov 20, 2010.

  1. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    I don't mind being short. My neck just gets tired from looking up all the time :)
     
  2. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    I was on the phone when I read this and I laughed, then had to explain. Apparently, you're not the only one, as I was just informed that my uncle was politely asked if he would allow them to arrest him after a bad fight in the 80's :D
     
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  3. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan Member Supporter Contributor

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    It makes me happy that some people manage to stay polite.
     
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  4. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale New Kitten Lost Behind the Fridge Staff Supporter Contributor

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    There was a big man who gained fame in certain circles who was tasered to death by the police, and some of his former coworkers attribute the officers' reaction to his size.

    RIP Marland Anderson.
     
  5. matwoolf

    matwoolf Contributor Contributor

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    He was waving it in their faces, bound to provoke reaction.
     
  6. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale New Kitten Lost Behind the Fridge Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I guess when your billy-clubs find themselves outgunned....
     
  7. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale New Kitten Lost Behind the Fridge Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Every night we go to bed later, every night we drink more...
     
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  8. matwoolf

    matwoolf Contributor Contributor

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    Finland, ahh Finland is fine as @Fatbigfouse says, no delicate pastries & coffee & snow & civilisation in the new old UK Atlantic society, maybe once briefly at the motorway service station I discovered a Danish pastry for sale, but now they are illegal meats, & foreign, and in a distant memory. Your world is the one we lost, the fantasy - scenario of napkins, modern pine furniture, and indoor plants situated everywhere in pots of soil for extra oxygen. A world where we freely made love to soil surrounding a bonzai tree, filmed it even,created a bigger tree, those days have now gone, normal no longer are the white towels of Finland, they are too fluffy. We are back to grease paper in the UK, whereas everybody intelligent in Finland, handsome, some a bit like Bergman, I mean I know he's French, or something, or that little sniper chap, your prisons are second or third best in your region, paradise is lost to us, GSTQ.

    Our sausage rolls, the grit lorries roll through January, a fart on a train is the day's entertainment, everybody is fat, our dogs are ugly. Get me to Beachy Head, I know, I know, mummy call the nurse.
     
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  9. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Krav Maga is pretty deadly. If you put your hands on him in the exact manner and in the exact position and in the exact context that he has prepared for (and you don't move), you're a goner.
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2017
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  10. matwoolf

    matwoolf Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks baby, I've been missing your parfum of prose, your delicate teeth that inhabit my dreams, nibble at bunions during REM sequence.

    And thanks for the vote of confidence. A lot of people don't understand how tough I am actually, without any of the 'so-called' military training of these losers. I do it on my own, all day if I could, or still could, half a day is probably more realistic, training my hands, y'know for making love?

    ...

    Maybe delete that Finland speech...[it's on the wrong thread, also.]
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2017
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  11. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    It's too beautiful to die. :D
     
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  12. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Loved by a Sweet lady. :) Contributor

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    TBH I wish my father would just hurry up and die, considering he ruined my childhood.
    And now my adult years. Of all the people that deserve to go in horrific fashion, he can
    be excised from life and existence. But since that is illegal, it will only be a dark section
    of my life. But you can bet your ass I will celebrate the day he no longer draws breath for
    all that he has fucked up and muddled in my life. I will not be free until he is nothing but
    a lesson of what not be, and that is a fact. Fuck him and all that think he is so damn special. :mad:
     
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  13. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    Tell you what, I'll kill yours, you can kill mine.
     
  14. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Loved by a Sweet lady. :) Contributor

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    SniperLikeCharities.jpg :p
     
  15. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale New Kitten Lost Behind the Fridge Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Mrs. A has requested that I make spaghetti with meat sauce tonight.

    With no garlic.

    It tastes like crap, and I know exactly what to do, but that would run counter to her "no garlic" request.

    Guess I'll just sprinkle some garlic powder on mine when it comes time to eat.
     
  16. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    As the man said "Give me a minute and I'll change your mind, give me a bullet and I'll change your life."
     
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  17. izzybot

    izzybot Transhuman Autophage Contributor

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    Tendinitis. "What's that, you'd like to use your specially-developed human grabbing appendages? Nah ... I think you've had enough."

    Cyborg upgrades when.
     
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  18. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Yeah I can't imagine any Italian food without garlic. I can't even think of a comparison to that. :superconfused:
     
  19. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan Member Supporter Contributor

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    I didn't even know there were people that didn't like garlic.
     
  20. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale New Kitten Lost Behind the Fridge Staff Supporter Contributor

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    It's not that she dislikes it, it's just this hypertrophied sense of politeness the Japanese have. She's afraid that if she eats food with garlic in it for dinner, brushes her teeth before bed, and brushes her teeth again when she gets up, the customers will still be able to smell it on her.

    Perhaps if I quit injecting her toothpaste with garlic puree....
     
  21. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Loved by a Sweet lady. :) Contributor

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    Garlic will come out in perspiration, but it would not be too bad unless you eat a ton of it.
    Though it is true if you eat a shit ton of carrots you will turn orange. :p
     
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  22. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale New Kitten Lost Behind the Fridge Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Is that a metric or an imperial shit ton?

    Need answer fast.
     
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  23. NobodySpecial

    NobodySpecial Contributor Contributor

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    Tell her garlic is good for heart health.
     
  24. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Loved by a Sweet lady. :) Contributor

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    I think it a special form of measure that might be the equivalent to a the yield of the hydrogen bomb, but in shit. :p
     
  25. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

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    Nooooooooooo!

    There's no way to ask this delicately, but...perhaps the nuts weren't fresh?

    I'm still going with humidity issues, though.
     

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