The Not Happy Thread

No need to feel guilty, I feel what I feel. And, vent away! I've been doing a lot of that, too. People vent where they're comfortable. It's OK.

Psssst...If the ice cream would help, I have a rule that no matter what time it is, it's not the next day until after I've gone to sleep.

Sending you good thoughts about the job!!!

 

I'd had hope that things would feel okay after the first year. I mean, I'm still at the point of going through an entire year worth of things on my own. I was dumped just weeks before the sixth anniversary, his birthday, Christmas, New Years Eve and now Valentines Day is coming up. All those silly things, but after almost six years with someone you get used to all those cozy traditions. Not to mention the every day interactions. And now I spend most of my time alone inside my apartment. Of course that will bring anyone down!

Thank you.

I'm not sure my future is shining the brightest. While I'll hopefully get the job I've been hyping this past month, I'm still deemed more or less unworkable. Because I couldn't handle one job due to angst. I had an internship at a store. Yes, unpaid, but it was better than being alone at home all day. Anyway - it was great, I was great and the boss thought it went great. I was going to get paid hours after Christmas. This other girl who worked there, who was second in command, just took it for granted that I was mentally disabled. So every time she talked it sounded more like she talked to a child. My boss had to work another store the last weeks, and the other girl got to be boss during the time. So I spent all the time being belittled and talked down at, and I was too afraid to speak up for myself. It totally broke me down. To be honest the big fight I had with my ex came from me being a wreak after work. I had panic because I felt I had to quit, but at the same time I didn't want to leave another job, making me look unreliable. There was this fight and I was sure we'd work it out the next day when I had calmed down. It didn't happen since he left the apartment and refused ever speaking to me again.

Sorry, that rant really went of the rail. It was just the comment about me being intelligent. Because while I'm not stupid, I'm aware that some people view me that way... and then things just got out of hand.

I know my life is better than some. Than a lot of people, actually. Which also bring some kind of guilt. I've had a pretty good life. Why the hell am I depressed?

 

Because you are alone, and some around you are acting like jerks.
Hope things turn around for ya.

 

Aw, hell, "I'm a gonna huuuuuug yooooou" both, if that's OK...

 

Big hugs to @Lemie @Cave Troll and @Shenanigator ... Cause well sometimes everyone just needs hugs. Lemie, I get what you're going through. I remember the sadness, the anger, the depression. Especially the what ifs. But life isn't always that way. There are people who wish you well, hope you're happy and are vested in you as a person. Sometimes those are people you don't even know yet. There will also be someone there to support you offline. Time doesn't heal everything, I wish it did, but eventually, you're going to come out of this and find that support offline. Until then, we're all here rooting for you.

 

{{{{{Corbyn}}}}} Beautifully said, and thank you.

(For the youngest whipppersnappers here, that's how hugs were written in Ye Olde Early Daze of the Internet.)

 

A big round of hugs to everyone!

I feel a bit better. Enough to go to sleep at least.
Thank you all for the support.

 

You're welcome, and thank you. Sleep well, @Lemie .

 

I cut my internet teeth in yahoo chat.. ROFLMAO! I miss seeing the "old" stuff!

 

OOOOoooooo!!! I smell a story here!! Days of our forums???

 

I'm hoping the job will come through and be something you like doing. Not just so you can get over your current anxiety, but because all (most?) of us feel better with something interesting to do.

 

No, no, no...You guys have it backwards. It's supposed to be readers 'shipping characters, not writers 'shipping writers...

 

Here you all go:

(I follow the author/illustrator on Instagram, and his work is brilliant.)

 

Then poor Moose would be miserable, because I don't believe in marriage as a concept for myself. I like being single.

 

Mayhaps you could agree to have an open relationship?

 

I have absolutely no snappy comeback to that, @Cave Troll .

ETA: Come to think of it, I did write The Blonde in the Corner for the short story contest...

Totally kidding. Open relationship, quite possibly. Open relationship while all together in the same room? Uh, no.

 

Ah. Me forgets. Yeah, marriage would truly make me not happy.

“I cannot guarantee to endure at all times the confinements of even an attractive cage.” --Amelia Earhart

 

You know this isn't the first time someone tries to set me up with a fellow writer around here!
So if you guys keep it up we can have out own season of The Bachelorette.

I don't know but if the site needs more funding I'm totally sure selling ourselves of to TV is the way to go!

Thank you
And money. Most of us feel better to know where the next paycheck come from.

 

I am still available

 

Oh, that line is good, but the paragraph before it is even better:

 

Yeah, medieval codes of faithfulness. Awful. We should instead hold to pre-civilization practices of promiscuity. Who's my dad, mommy? Eh it's one of those guys dragging their ass through that pile of twigs over there.

 

Wait a minute!

If you're still available that means you didn't change your Tinder profile about your antidepressant abilities. No woman would've been able to resist you!

So what's your excuse for still being on the market?

 

Well, I think her point was that relationships can end and people can fall out of love with their spouses and in love with other people. Not marrying would give them the freedom to move on, which was rather a modern standpoint for the time. Amelia Earhart was such a badass.

 

Broadly speaking because I've come to the realization that acting like a teenager and jumping into bed with the first person who shows up won't actually make me happy. Turns out that what actually matters to me is having someone I really share a connection with and they don't come along often.

Which is a bit of a bugger because I really really hate being single. I like having someone I can do cute stuff for, and who does stuff just to make me smile. I just like being a boyfriend you know? And I find it hard to feel content just by myself. I'm vastly happier to have someone who believes in me because most of the time I don't believe in me, you know?

But I guess it's only been three months since I broke up with my ex. I'm not that worried about being by myself. I have other stuff to do anyway. But I miss having someone who's proud of me for trying, you know?

 

I never did that as a teenager. I've really been missing out! Though I've got other issues with bed jumping, but I'd sort of ruin my image if I admitted that.

Someone wiser than me would probably suggest doing nice things for your friends in the mean time! I'd suggest you ship some cute stuff to Sweden instead

On a more serious note, though... from what I've heard about your ex there wasn't much making you smile or believing in you at the end, was there? Remember - being singel may not be fun, but it's usually better than what we came from! At least now you got the chance to actually find someone who'd make you happy. If the relationship had continued you'd probably just be two miserable people sticking together out of habit. It would've made no one happy.

I think I'm still pining after a dream life. Just having everything set. I thought I had found the person I'd spend my life with. There was talk of getting married - even if that was far of to the future. While it's only been around four months for me, I'm going between desperately wanting someone new, and the realization that I'll probably never find anyone I'm feeling secure with. Maybe I should just give up and buy more cats.