The Not Happy Thread

Thank you. And again, my rational brain knows all that. But my emotions are telling me something different. I’m talking to a therapist about it. Hopefully I’ll be able to resolve that internal conflict and move on, as currently I’m not doing so well

 

It's done! So happy to have Lappy back.

But now I have the anxiety of buying a proportional and appropriate gift for the IT guy. I have no idea if he drinks alcohol, if he has any hobbies, if he likes chocolate...

 

I know. I remember. Hang in there, and work closely with your doc. Sending you a big hug, if you like them. You can do it, Mash.

 

Thank you

He drinks beer.
His hobby is IT.
He likes chocolate.

Guaranteed

 

I hate to break it to you, but if he’s acting out this badly now, he may be showing his true nature. It might have been a bigger even more terrible mistake to have not ended it. Watch your back, keep your eyes open, and keep trusted friends around; stay safe.

 

'Puter's broke...

 

The electrician has been and gone. Let me preface this by saying I did not wire this house. He found that on one 15 amp line we have no less than 8 ceiling light fixtures, as many as 12 outlets(including the ones my microwave and refrigerator are plugged into), and two bathroom exhaust fans, and the garbage disposal in the kitchen sink. We were both impressed this building hadn’t turned into a smoldering pile of ash yet.

The plan for now is to try to isolate the extra lines and put them on their own breakers, or run new lines altogether.

 

Mashers! Good to see you on again. Sorry for your situation.
Two things are clear:
You're not the same person anymore. None of us are.
Ha's not the same person anymore. He triggered himself and he needs an intervention (professionally).

He doesn't want to get back together, he wants to turn back time. It will never happen. Trust is violated, and intimacy is not possible without trust.

Keep telling people what is happening, and find something additional to report to (social serveces, advocacy groups, hotlines). Show them all the texts, answer all their questions. Stay near friends, and tell them to report any incident as well. He is, at this point, a threat to himself and others, and the public should be aware. It may be possible to track his phone. It may also be possible to have him lo-jacked. When he is under public scrutiny, it will be difficult for him to misbehave. People do not normally ask for something like this out-of-hand, so they should pay attention to your requests, especially if there are multiple police reports on file.
Keep in public with friends more often, if he realizes his actions will be judged by others, it may deter. Keep in touch with us, please.
I wish you all the best, and you will be in my thoughts.

 

You may immediately put in LED lightbulbs to take load off the circuit. If possible, run a heavy extension cord from a lesser used circuit to the fridge. A more efficient microwave costs $149, which is likely some thousand less than a burnout. Post War built homes keep outlets and lights on separate circuits so either something is cross-wired or scabbed on one of them (both in my house). Pre War stuff is probably scabbed, so it will be time for judicious extra expenditure.

 

My house was built in 1924, we still have the lines for gas wall sconces. This place is seven shades of fucked up.

 

Really poignant observation, and something I think we've all experienced, on either (or both) side(s).

 

The friend who encouraged me to start writing again passed away. She believed I had a book in me, even though I had to learn how to read and write all over again due to neurological damage from a virus. She believed this when all I could write were simple sentences. I'm feeling extra driven to finish my WIP.

 

, sorry about your loss, Shenanigator. But now you should be even more determined to finish for your friend and make sure to dedicate it to her.

 

Damn it, load already.

 

Man, I’m so sorry for your loss. I read your post in your progress journal, and she sounds like she was an amazing person. I hope you’re okay; here’s a hug if you need (and want) it And I know you’ll make her proud with your WIP.

 

Damn straight. ETA: I think she'd come back and kick my ass if I didn't finish it. Thanks, JW.

Thanks, CT.

She was indeed. Yeah, I'm OK. ETA: Maybe a bit in shock because it happened so fast very few people knew she was ill. Thanks, PN. Determined and driven.

 

This is what I keep trying to tell myself. Thank you both for confirming! It actually really helps to know that someone outside the situation sees this.

Thank you @Some Guy. This really helped in particular: "He doesn't want to get back together, he wants to turn back time. It will never happen. Trust is violated, and intimacy is not possible without trust." That sums up why it could never have worked again. That's really helpful, thank you.

 

Got the wrong day for the doctors appointment. Yet I can't help being angry at them even if it' all my fault.

I'm just angry to have to go through tests that make me feel stupid. I'm sick of it since I obviously don't have the issues they're looking for.

Just visiting that shrink has already got doctors to question my sanity and I was almost robbed the choice to decide over my own body because I was deemed "mentall unstable". Just fuck it.

I have confidence issues. That's my problem. I have confident issues and general angst. That doesn't make me unfit to make decisions regarding myself.

Sorry for the rant.

 

Jedi powers would solve it—with just a wave of your hand:

I'm at audiologists today. Hearing aid left ear. I feel officially old and it feels way before I deserve to be.