The Not Happy Thread

[high fives Homer] Yeah the tires would be a problem. Maybe you get a storage space in your parking garage, if there is one. (Of course, I keep almost nothing in mine, because, theft. Right now there's like, a small Ikea bookcase still in its flat pack, and the Christmas tree stand.)

Walk-in closet? What are these luxuries you speak of? Oh! You mean that thing Angelenos call a "roommate's bedroom". (The closets in my place are a coat closet, plus a four foot wide wardrobe closet that's only about a hanger's width deep.)

 

Homer posing with his daily driver:

 

My phone broke down last night. Refused to charge above 5% and drained fast.

So I had to do a complete reinstallation-thing which also meant trying to save all my files even though I couldn't connect my phone to my computer (apparently clouds are a thing now )

Anyway, I had to stay up late until I knew the phone worked well enough to wake me up in the morning.

I then proceeded to wake up at least once an hour for the next six hours until I had to get up.

I'm tired and trying to get as much coffein in me as a non-coffe drinker ever could.

Btw, fixing all small details like the looks, apps, languages and stuff takes time

 

It was another bad night tonight. I’m worried about my little sister. After an argument with our mom, she told me she was feeling suicidal again. She said that the only time she isn’t depressed is when she’s doing drugs, and that between the shit she gets from classmates and school and the shit she gets at home from mom, she thinks about ending it constantly.

Then more drama occurred, which didn’t help anything... it just made my sister more upset and me pissed off. I feel helpless to change anything not only for my sister, but for this whole family, which is frustrating and just sucks in general. After she went to bed, I decided to go for a walk... There wasn’t much else I could do at this point, just get away from that place, walk off the anger and emotional shit, get it out of my system, and catch my breath.

It’s almost 3:00 now and I’m at the park by myself. I’ve been wandering around the neighborhood since midnight, just going to all the places that had been a part of my childhood. Seeing everything so empty and dark when I remember it all being bright and full of life is both a little creepy and a little lonely. I’m cold and sleepy, and I should probably go home. Usually drug dealers hang out here at this time of night, though I don’t see any right now. Haha, maybe I scared them off with my dark hoodie, orange fox socks, and hot pink pepper spray.

I still feel shitty, which I probably deserve. I should’ve been a better sister to her. I should be a better sister now too, now more than ever. We aren’t usually that close -we fought like cats and dogs when we were younger and we are polar opposites personality-wise- but I’ve been trying to get mom off of her when she starts an argument. It doesn’t do shit, though, and it’s frustrating that it seems like there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

 

@PoemNerd212

I'm sorry things are rough

I wish I could say anything else, but I know it won't change much...

 

Thank you

 

It sounds like you are making yourself responsible for this. You're not. If your sister is suicidal, then call the emergency services. If there are issues with your family, then either ask your parents to change it or talk to someone at school/college/uni/social services. You don't deserve to feel shitty about this situation as it's not down to you to solve these problems. You can't, and shouldn't expect yourself to. And you definitely shouldn't be telling yourself to feel bad when you have tried and failed.

I'm sorry you're going through this, I really am. But you mustn't tell yourself it's your fault. You're not the parent in this situation.

 

So basically work is making me empty out their storage all by myself, despite the fact there’s nothing else going on — they’re just sitting around on their phones.

 

Oh goddammit, my password manager...

Good thing my credit cards are paid off, because I can't get into my online banking til I get my hard disk recovered.

How much longer?

 

Not sure what happened to your old computer, but if you can take the old drive out yourself you can probably just put it in an external drive enclosure and access the files on your new computer as if it was a USB.

 

Why would the enclosure install drivers on the disk you put in it?
The drivers are installed onto the device you plug a USB/external drive into, not on the USB/external drive itself.
Spoke to my brother (Software engineer, who has also worked for a short while at a computer repair shop) and he agrees with this.

 

I'm so sorry things are rough right now, and I hope they're getting better. Homer's words about transition were very wise.

I would also add that, sometimes, with every new transition comes a shift in some of your friendships, as you move on toward your next goal. You're a very focused person who knows what she wants (to be a published author) and is actively going after her dreams. That's unsettling to some people...especially those who don't yet know what they want. Sometimes, when our friends don't yet know what they want, or how to go about their dreams, they pull away...not because they're not your friends, but sometimes because they can't relate, or because they're afraid of losing you, or because they're afraid there will be no room for them in the new life you're building for yourself, so they pull away first because they think it won't hurt them so much. It's a natural part of the transition. That's not on you, though. It's on them. They're in their own transitions, too.

You've heard that cliche "It's lonely at the top"? That's why. Some of your friends may come back, and a lot of them won't. But as Homer said, you'll be making new friends. Most likely, they'll be friends who share similar goals as you. Then, with each new transition you go through as you get closer to your dreams, some may fall away, and that's OK. (This tends to be more the case with girls than guys. Guys tend to make friends for life and--I mean this in a good way--their friendships seem to require less maintenance. You'll almost never hear a guy complain that it's been over a week since they've talked to one of their friends. It's just not how guys typically do friendship. Bestie--my best friend, who's a guy-- and I have gone months without communication when things get busy, but we always come back.)

I know that doesn't make it feel better right now, though, and I'm truly sorry you're hurting. It's just a really shitty part of growth. But it does get better, I promise. Stay focused on your goals, and hang in there.

 

Yeah, that's more or less what I'm in the process of having done, it's just... FUCK I keep running into things that are screwing me up. Now, since I didn't know my password the first time, my bank, which is in the USA, wants me to call them or stop by to get it reset. During bankers hours. Because I've tripped their identity theft triggers.

Which is life as an expat, basically. You tell them where you live, where you're working from, but their settings are all "That request didn't come from 'Murica, better lock it out."

Gaak!

 

Thanks, mashers. I’ll try to remember that. I’m working on trying to get my sister some help. I should have just done this myself a while ago instead of expecting my parents to. Hopefully I’ll find something that will work for her soon.

Thank you again, Carly. Haha, yeah I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said last time and I’ve been making a list of the things I need to do in order to get out of here. I’m over 18 now, so that helps a lot. I don’t need a parent anymore to do stuff like open a bank account or get my drivers license, so I can start preparing to move out without them noticing too much. I’m going to talk to my sister when she gets home today about what’s going on and hopefully we can help each other. Don’t know how long all this will take, but we’ll get there eventually. Thanks again

 

[Passes stiff drink to @Iain Aschendale .] Hang in there, man!

 

Whoops, missed this. This is one of those situations where I think I could probably do the recommended fix myself, but when I weighed the value of what's on the disk itself versus the cost of having it recovered by someone who knows what they're doing, well, this is what paychecks are for, unfortunately. It's just all the associated nonsense of getting locked out of my bank, having to reset all my passwords because I don't remember them, having to go through all the resetting presetting customizing etc on the new machine stress is driving me up a wall, plus the fact that this is the week when my three part-time jobs all started, leaving me less time to deal with things and more unrelated minor stress. Ugh

 

@PoemNerd212 I'm sorry, it sounds like you and your sister are going through quite a rough patch right now

Just remember, no storm last forever, the sun always finds a way to break through the clouds.

Love and prayers to both you and your sister.

 

It is May, it's technically not supposed to be summer yet, but I am trapped in a never-ending heat wave. On top of that, I'm probably the only person on my street with no AC.

 

Yup. I've used Linux exactly once, about ten years ago. Got a netbook, downloaded some Ubuntu and tried to use it. I couldn't make it compatible with any of the software I needed, so I gave up on it. Most of my circle of friends and coworkers are very plug&play oriented, several of them even use (gasp) Macs or tablets exclusively, so I don't have much in the way of local resources.

It's very good advice I'm sure, and once I get my data back, I might take the old machine and use it as a risk-free practice platform to learn some of this stuff on, but for right now:



Well, no, I'm lower-middle class at best, but it's time to flash some folding purple at the problem.

 

The enclosure doesn’t install anything anywhere, but the operating system might write to the disk. As I said in a previous message, the operating system will often begin indexing and optimising the contents of the disk as soon as it is mounted. If there are files which have been removed from the FAT but are still physically there on the disk, then these indexing and optimising operations could be catastrophic. That’s why I advised against connecting it to an enclosure and plugging it in.

Do what you have to do to be ok with yourself. But don’t take on an unreasonable burden, and don’t blame yourself if your efforts don’t pay off. Be kind to yourself. It sounds like you’re suffering as much as she is.