The Not Happy Thread

His usual grin. But for some reason that grin just seemed maniacal.

 

So, apparently my student loan doesn't come through until tomorrow. Great. Won't be able to buy my train season ticket today then. Which is a minor complaint, but has for some reason gotten under my skin.

 

^ How annoying.

 

Knowing someone that I really care about is unhappy and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Wanting to share some of my joy but not knowing how.

 

Thanks, Mallory.

They do not need your joy. I am most unhappy when other's speak of their own happiness, when I need to compare my own level of contentment with their own.

Your friend needs someone to know that they care, and to speak of their unhappiness with. When unhappiness is spoken of, and brought into speech instead of the dark recesses of the mind I find it usually less sinister and daunting. After that, it sometimes quickly goes away.

Good luck!

 

Thanks for the tip. I'll do my best to listen. I guess I'm wishing I could find a way to bring some joy into this person's life, not simply to flaunt my own.

 

@ Chacotaco, pretty sure SW meant sharing his joy as in making the other person feel better, not flaunting around the joy in his own life.

And SW, I'd agree that listening is also a really important thing. Call her up on the phone, as that feels more sincere than just something like a facebook message. If it's someone who lives in the same vicinity as you, taking them out for food or something might help, or invite him/her over to watch movies. Sitting alone never helps anything when you feel like sh*t, and going out with my friends/boyfriend always makes me feel better when I"m down.

 

I know what you mean. A good attitude around them is great, and uplifting. Though I find it often people flaunt without even knowing it, or perceive that someone is flaunting when that person never meant to.

All I say is that do not tell them why you're happy, and why they can be. Ask them what makes them happy, and why they are not.

I didn't think you were flaunting or anything. no worries.

Good luck!

 

Rant of epic proportions.

Spoiler

F/ck organic chemistry.

Our class average is a 63% right now. That's a D-. For 600 pre-professional students. This average is the worst that any class has ever had in years. Because it's so unbelievably low, you would blame the professors, right? Something has to be wrong with the way the course is being taught. Yes, it's considered the toughest course on campus (no, I'm not exaggerating), and it's expected that 25% of the students will fail or drop out. But a D- class average? Unbelievable.

The department chair agrees with me --I spoke to her about my concerns with this course a few months ago (I'm currently not passing). Because it's just not probable that 600 kids aiming for professional schools decide to just not try hard very hard.

Despite this, the lousy professors teaching this course are allowed to determine the curve. (Might I just add that the professors who are teaching are brilliant researchers, but they're not good teachers.) Wanna know what our "curve" is? One might think we might have a 10-12% curve, as that would make the average around a 75%.

NOPE. We don't get a curve. Not one percentage point higher. Instead, they've decided to drop our lowest test score and make our final count for 300 points, not 200. Might I just add, that the course total is only 620 points overall. Really? Does that seem like an intelligent decision to you? Because I sure don't think so. When, on average, a student is earning a D- on the exams, you want to make the final count for more? The only way this will be beneficial is if we all magically get A's on our final. Which just isn't going to happen when we've all be consistently earning D-'s. I calculated my score, and that would raise my grade a grand total of 3%. If I earn an 80% on this 300 point final, I will pass with a 71%.

Holy sh!t. What an amazing curve. Thanks, Professor! You're so generous.

I don't feel like we should be penalized for their poor teaching skills. I will take fault when it is deserved. Yes, I admit I'm not a good chemistry student. But I'm going to be earning 3 A's and 1 B+ this semester. I'm intelligent. I put in a lot of effort. I have been studying every day for hours until I start crying because I feel so miserably inept and stupid. Then I take a break, eat my feelings (hello, weight gain /sarcasm), and then I study some more. I go to office hours for 2 grad students I get along with, and I also go to my prof's office hours. I go to free tutoring sessions, I study with friends, and I study on my own. I study old exams, old quizzes, discussion worksheets, book problems, and online problems. I'm putting in the effort.

And what's worse --I'm getting the right answers. But on the exams? They're always wrong. And NO ONE explains why. I put in 20 minutes' work on a single synthesis, and I get 2 points out of 15, and no one explains why. I just get a big, red X.

Sorry, bitch, but I cant read minds. You're getting paid to help me. F/CKING HELP ME. Don't give me an X. When I take my exam to my AI (a grad student who is paid to help a small group of students), even she doesn't understand what the grader was thinking when they just put a big red X on my paper.

I wont take the blame here, because my grade is certainly not from lack of effort on my end. So, no. I don't think I deserve a god damn F in this course --no one does. But I'm afraid that is exactly what I'm going to get.

 

God, Merc, that's insane. I had a professor like that, too...someone who was clearly brilliant in her field but completely failed when it came to passing her knowledge on to others. Her class was the lowest grade I've ever gotten...

I really hope you guys find some way to improve the situation.

 

It's actually really common in Universities. You get these absolute experts in almost every department, geniuses really; but when it comes to them transferring on their knowledge they can often be so dreary and monotonous. Just not the best at expressing themselves in the most enthusiastic way!

 

Merc, that sucks. My boyfriend took organic chemistry, and he had many stories about similar issues. His problem was that he had a jerky TA who would give students either a 0, a 5 or a 10 (out of 10) with no in-between scores. So if you get a 7, but it's not a 7.5, then you're closer to a 5 than to a 10 and you're stuck with a 5.

It happens. Also, organic chemistry is pretty hard. Pretty sure it was ranked the #1 hardest class at my college. So don't beat yourself up. Hundreds of thousands of people are in the same boat.

You're getting three As and a B+ in your other classes, and if you're taking orgo, I'm assuming you're taking a lot of other hard science/math classes. This speaks a lot about your intelligence and ability.There's no way I'd even come close to what you can take on. I majored in PR - not that it's not a great major, but come on, I cried over Stats I.

You can do it Merc! I have faith in you!

And I agree, making the final worth more is an idiot move on your prof's part.

 

Money has always been tight for me, but it hasn't felt tighter than today when I paid for summer classes and saw my very nearly empty checking account. I haven't even bought books yet! And I'll have to take fall classes before I'm completely finished.

I'll probably have to cut my expenses down to virtually nill and starve myself through the summer... I'm going to try to brush up my resume and get a job of some kind, though I'm trying to get something related to the field I'm going into (IT) but maybe I should just break down and get a bogus part-time job at a retail store or something.

I potentially have the option of trying to get a job with the government as they are moving buildings over the summer and a lot of jobs are opening up as employees aren't moving with them, but that would be nearly 50 miles away and I would have to give up on finishing my degree which I DO NOT want to do.

*sigh* I'm a bit tired of stress.

 

I share your stress. Things are very tight. Keep on keeping on, that's all we can do really.

 

Merc, I swear university teachers are actually alot worse than those who teach you in high school (or 6th form and college over here). The teachers I have now make absolutely no effort and screw us over at any given opportuntity. My high school teachers? They worked day and night, used their own free time, came in early, late and on weekends - just to give us the very best. Not only that, but their actual teaching standard was fantastic.
I don't know if it's the same for you in your other classes, but I feel like the standard actually drops considerably because university-level teachers never get questioned or monitored, or at least that's how it is on my course. They don't deserve the prestige they get for teaching higher level education when they lack so much.

What a nightmare. Even still, you're a very hard worker Merc - and hardworkers always get there in the end. Good luck. xx

 

Nostalgia sucks :\
I miss my best friend who past away this Christmas...

 

Nostalgia need not suck, even it it IS old school...

 

My area just endured what is described as possibly the worst storm in the region's recorded history. Softball-sized hail and 90 mph winds, for starters. Near the end, a tornado touched down in a small city about 5-10 minutes from where I live. Several buildings have been leveled (a few of which were favorite local landmarks), the high school took significant damage, and the neighboring middle school is missing an entire wing. But of course, all of this is just me repeating what I've heard, because power is out in the entire downtown area and it's impossible to see much, what with how dark it gets at night and how glaring emergency response vehicle lights can be.

My family and I evacuated to a safer location as soon as we heard tornadoes could be on the way, but it turns out we just missed the real damage. Didn't even lose power. We dodged a bullet, but thousands of other people are wishing they could say the same. Many are wishing they could at least say they weren't trapped in collapsed buildings.

 

Dissertation handed in. Normally, this would be happy, but it's been handed in with no tutor feedback whatsoever, because he's buggered off the face of the planet. So despite me having loads of questions for him, he's not answered one. And I've had to struggle on with no reasonable prospect of an extension.

There might be referencing problems. There may be problems with the law. But I wouldn't know about these because my tutor hasn't given me any help whatsoever. If I fail, I'm passing the buck. His fault. Not mine. Because I've tried bloody hard to get it right.

 

Man, that sounds pretty horrible. Hopefully the damage isn't too bad and nobody got hurt.
Tornadoes really freak me out.

Aw, that REALLY sucks. I know how much help my sisters got from their tutors when writing their bachelor papers and dissertation, so not getting any help must be maddening. I mean, what else is he a tutor for? Why the heck would he not help? That's pretty ridiculous.

 

KP Williams: Sorry to hear that, it sounds terrible. I hope your area can recover it.

Dante Dases: That sucks. I know what you mean about tutors not helping with assessments, though yours is more serious. Your tutor really should've helped you, how hard is it to respond to emails (assuming that's how you were asking him?), especially when he's paid to do it?! You've tried your best, and that's all that matters.

There was a car crash or something up the road from me which never happens. I was trying to find out about it, but I can't find any news on it. I hope the people involved survive...

 

About to start 2500 word essay from scratch about a subject I'm not familiar with and haven't at all researched. It's due tomorrow. Gonna be a long night.

 

Things must have changed a lot for students in the UK, then. We didn't get any feedback at all until we'd finished something (and even then we didn't always get much). We did everything alone. We had to wait for our crumbs of feedback also, it never came instantly. Extensions were unheard of. Sorry to sound unsympathetic, but teachers have a life too--and more than one student to deal with.

 

I don't think I'm allowed to get direct feedback on my dissertation from tutors- on the basis that they're marking it. But my tutors have always made themselves available to answer questions, run ideas by, etc. Disappearing without a trace is rather bad form, I think.

 

^^
I always got feedback and help if needed. We got assigned a tutor who acted as a sort of 'mentor' throughout the year we worked on our dissertation.

I appreciate students need to learn to work independently, but there should be some system in place to offer assistance (or even just plain encouragement), if needed.