The Not Happy Thread

Ohhhhhh, golly. There's not much that keeps me from sleeping at night, but that just might. He was on that show after he'd already raped and murdered who knows how many women? Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!!!!

Hamlet had it totally right: "...meet it is I set it down, That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain."

 

Staring at a blank page for much of the morning, unable even to first-draft. Time comes to get ready for work, I have an epiphany, scenes and even dialogue popping into my head as I'm getting dressed, now I'm at work with only a vague idea and an ultraslim keyboard with shitty key placement...

 

It's called speak-and-spell in my generation

 

I'm sorry. Losing a pet is never easy. Sounds as if things went as smoothly as could have been hoped for, which is good. But you will miss your little friend.

 

I'm not entirely unhappy, which is a start! But here's the unhappy thoughts or feelings.

Not knowing what to say or how to help somebody, but wishing I did.

Thinking I might just be making it worse and it'd be better if I shut-up.

Feeling like my own problems are of little to no gravity compared to the serious problems of others; serious problems that might as well be done a disservice by being referred to as "problems", as if they'd merely run out of milk and can't have cereal. And the fact that I can't overcome my comparatively little problems makes me realize how pathetic I actually am.

 

After four hours of sleep, I'd like nothing more than to just burrow down under the covers and go back to sleep, but we have an inspection today and I'm the only one in the flat, so cleaning up falls to me. If only I wasn't afraid of the dark, I could have finished cleaning last night!

(On a side note, I don't understand why people clean up before inspections. "Here's what our flat normally looks like, what d'ya think?")

 

Just make it 'good enough', unless the inspector is your mum. Good enough is good enough.

 

My follow-up complaint is that ever since I took the food bin out, the whole kitchen has stunk of rotten food. I'm going to see if the local supermarket sells air freshener.

 

You haven't listed your age, but I think we're not so far apart. Funny thing is I'm pretty sure my tablet, tablet cover, and external keyboard weigh less than the batteries for a Speak-and-Spell. Plus, those old machines wouldn't show young women being subjected to multiple aarvarkings educational films

 

If you should go skating on the thin ice of modern life
Dragging behind you the silent reproach of a million tear stained eyes
Do be surprised when a crack in the ice appears under your feet
You slip out of your depth and out of your mind
With you fears flowing out behind you, as you claw the thin ice

- Pink Floyd, Thin Ice (from The Wall)

 

So the bad news is, I forgot to clean inside the ovens and the microwave, so now I'm sure my flatmates are mad at me.

The good news is, the supermarket did have air freshener, which means that the kitchen now smells of "Vanilla Cream" and not rotten food. (I did put a little spritz inside the food bin, though, just because it was so awful.)

 

Grand operatic, daddy's face in a fireball version:

 

Nonsense.

The real size of a problem is often not the size of the problem but the size of the effect.

I'm an Aspie. My life can go to complete halt because something that you don't even notice. And something that stops you might not be any kind of problem to me.

It is very common that if I get any kind of possibility to try something, then some f*cking bastard "tries to help me" or "tries to take into account" my traits and difficulties. And every time, absolutely 100% every time that halts me because that means that things will get arrenged so that I can't manage no matter how much and how I try.

And every f*ckin time those bastards are people who believe that they are smart, intelligent and good willing no matter what evidence tell about they "intelligence" and "good will".

My point?

Stumbling is not pathetic. Failure is not pathetic. Constant failure combined with constant stumbling combined with not succeeding when getting loads of "assistance" is not pathetic.

Not trying again is pathetic. Giving up is pathetic.

Sometimes you might need months or years to recover. That is not giving up. That is preparing.

Foxxxes don't give up. They might lay low for a while, but they find a way to keep on going.

I trust in you!

And I don't mean that I trust in your career or success. I can't because I don't know anything about it. I trust in YOU, the person, the core inside you, the essence seeking the way to grow towards the potential.

 

This.

 

Nice one, Alan.

 

I hate myself and my Internet usage. Either I'm happily tucked up by midnight or I stay up all night watching "one last YouTube video".

 

I wish I had found this thread when I was with my ex-husband!

 

1. You don't have to have the answers to be a supportive friend. Sometimes "I don't know what to say, but I wish I did" or something similar is helpful in its own way, because it shows you care and support them and are thinking of them. Or asking, sincerely, "What can I do?" Or giving them a hug, or sitting quietly with them or watching a movie with them, or sending them a gif, if it's an Internet friend. Some of those seem trite, but speaking from the point of view as having received them, they're simple gestures that, when done sincerely, mean a lot and are remembered for the care behind them.

2. Problems aren't a competition. Everyone, at various points in their lives, goes through problems "large" and "small", and we all have different reactions to them and coping mechanisms for them. Please don't beat yourself up for that. Some people handle the "huge" things but fall apart at the "small" things. For others it's the opposite. That doesn't change how any of them feels inside or make one person's issues less important than another's.

 

More posts of Alan I see more I want to stuff him in my pocket and walk around with his words of wisdom.

I did a good work out today. Didn`t injury myself in anyway...until I was using a foam roller on my back after and whammed my elbow off of the floor and striking my funny bone. I`ve hit the humoreus before but idk if it was how hard I hit it this time but my whole arm went numb with pain. Felt tingly for a long time still feels sore. Jesus.

 

I've dug myself a hole and jumped in without a ladder. A colleague of mine has been suffering of back pain so she has to take strong drugs to keep the pain in check. This means she can't drive her car, though she is able to work provided she gets a ride to the office. I live two blocks down from her and have promised to drive her until she can quit the drugs. Unfortunately she has to work in shifts while I can come and go as I please, which is important to me and one of the reasons I applied for this position. It's flexible though the responsibilities are pretty big too.

Anyway, now I have to live by her schedule, and due to her poor health, she's been asking all kinds of favors from me (drive her to the doctor, the grocery store, help carry stuff - mostly cos her spouse is always working evenings or night shifts). It's been going on for about a month now, and while I sympathize with her situation, the reason it's putting a strain on me is that I'm already looking after my husband who's in a lot of pain and has difficulty moving, also due to back problems. I don't want another patient to care for. I'd rather her adult daughter helped her out as she lives next door. Or her spouse. I've told her this, but she counter-argues, and eventually I just get tired and give up.

I'm not sure what to do cos I've already been honest with her and told her I need her to become more independent and stop relying on me, that if she wants to work, she has to find some other way to get there, be it public transport or work from home. I'm starting to wonder whether she wants me to drive her cos her spouse's car is a POS so he's now driving her car, so she wouldn't even have a vehicle to use. She might not even be taking those drugs anymore, and if the problem is using the clutch, why doesn't she do what me and hubby did: buy an automatic?! I've suggested that, but no...

Or maybe I'm just being really selfish. It's just tiring to be there for two physically impaired people. My own husband I don't mind, of course, but when it's someone I don't even like that much as a person, the whole thing's just wearing me down and stressing me out, and I find myself wishing I'd never agreed to help her out in the first place.

 

She'll say: "I don't have the money" (fair enough, it'd cost 60€ one way)
Or she'll say: "Oh that's ok, how about tomorrow? Or the day after? Oh I can't get a ride from anyone else, how will I get to work? Oh work is so important to me, I really don't want to lose it, we will be in so much financial trouble, me and hubby. How would we even pay the rent?"

 

I don't think so. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. It's really hard to be unselfish when you're dead.

 

That, right up there, is why I never get close to people!

No, you're not selfish. I think she's using you since she noticed she can. You were nice enough to offer her a ride to work for a bit and now you're her personal chauffeur. She's not really loosing anything on this deal and you're not gaining anything.

I think they only thing is to really tell her no and that you can't do it anymore and then stick to that. She's already proven she'll take advantage of your good will and while it's nice of you to do that... she's not really your problem.