The Not Happy Thread

If my calcs are correct, I'll get a bill for about AUD2000 (about USD1500). That's without the plumber's bill, which I expect will be somewhere between $500 and $1000. It really couldn't come at a worse time too.

 

Be careful saying that.
If you were the MC in your own fiction, I'm sure you could come up with a way to make things worse for yourself.

That's supposed to cheer you up, BTW.

 

The trouble is, truth is stranger than fiction. If I put in my story that my MC received a bill from the utilities company for half a million litres for an unwanted water feature, it would be dismissed as being unrealistic or melodramatic.

 

Not by me. Not after today, anyway.

 

Somebody get him a FundMe site!

 

Couldn't sleep well last night. Too creeped out by my new horror story.

 

The book I wanted from the library was taken off the shelves. It was about asking questions at interviews (where I struggle) and the books left are about answers. It's pretty damn disappointing.

 

Ugh, so I think I've developed plantar fasciitis (It involves inflammation of a thick band of tissue that runs across the bottom of your foot and connects your heel bone to your toes (plantar fascia). Plantar fasciitis commonly causes stabbing pain that usually occurs with your first steps in the morning.) -From the Mayo Clinic webpage.
I walk a LOT at my job- corrections officer here so I am constantly doing security rounds if I'm working a housing unit or literally running all around the jail for 12 hours if I'm a rover (getting supplies/uniforms/mattresses/giving breaks to other officers/moving inmates/standing in the intake doing property inventory/etc) and it's just been getting worse and worse since about December. I was a rover yesterday and this morning, when I went to get out of bed, I attempted to stand twice, gave up due to the pain, and crawled out of bed instead. Luckily I'm in a housing unit today, so it's considerably less walking than yesterday, but I still have to get up and do security rounds every 13-15 minutes. The bottom of my heels hurt so flipping bad. Took an 800mg IBU this morning so it's better than it was, but bleh. This sucks. And I couldn't get an appointment with my doctor until the end of the month, so I have to wait on that.

 

Do a lot of Achilles tendon stretches, they help.
My favorite is to stand with just the balls of my feet on a step, holding the handrail, and sinking the heels as far as I can, then hold it for a slow twenty count. Repeat if desired.
When I'm out walking on concrete, I do this every few miles (using a curb and holding a signpost) to keep the plantar fascia from getting inflamed.

 

My commiserations. I've had that condition. It goes away if you look after it. I second @XRD_author 's stretching suggestions. Also, if you can, get a few physiotherapy sessions in as early as possible too; the treatment is painful but worth it. The physios can also provide an elastic strap you can use for stretches too, which I found good.

 

My day of fun:
-Internet wouldn't connect. On-off-on-off-on-off. I gave up on it.
-Woke up 45 minutes before my alarm. Didn't get back to sleep.
-When my alarm went off and I got up, I realised my fingers on my right hand are painful. They still hurt.
-Went to see my daughter at access, but it was cancelled. No phone call or text beforehand.
-Went to pay in my rent. Realised I forgot the bank card to pay it into the landlord's account.
-Tried to purchase food in Tesco with my contactless card. Didn't work. Tried by pin. Didn't work.
-Got a text saying my monday night group is cancelled this week, as facilitator has taken a week off work.

 

To make a long story short: My body can’t produce testosterone.

• I’ve been taking the gel, and my doctor had been saying that if the gel isn’t doing the trick, we’ll have to resort to weekly/bi-weekly injections that I do at home.

• I’m not happy about this — the idea that once a week/two weeks I’ll be jabbing myself with a needle. What the hell for? What does testosterone do besides make a man hairy and sexually active? Surely I can live without it, right? I’m cool with not being hairy and I don’t care about sex. I’m not gonna die from lack of testosterone.

• How do I cope with this/accept this if it ever comes about that I’ll need to do self-injections?

 

Sorry that you need artificial hormones. Have you talked to the doc about whether you really medically need this? They might be making assumptions about what you want. Is it needed for your health generally or merely to bring you up to "normal", whatever that means in this weird world?

If you do end up needing to jab yourself weekly, at least you're better off than diabetics who have to jab themselves with insulin several times a day. There's always someone worse off than you, remember that.

I hope it works out for you.

 

So I fell asleep this evening before going to make myself a nice dinner that I was looking forward to. It's now four o' clock, and because I take about four hours to cook, for reasons I've never figured out, I won't have time to before my alarm goes off at seven. So now I'm starving (didn't get round to lunch either), and I really want that dinner, but it's not worth it, so I'll just go and wash my stubbornly-dirty pans from Saturday night and see what I can do about them, and then go back and see what I can do on my essays that are due tomorrow/today, one of which is at 150 words out of 2000 and the other one has not been started. My mum's been rooting for me to get these done, or at least to a stage where they can be submitted, and I don't want to let her down. I failed all my modules last semester, too, so now I'm going to have to retake the year. I feel like all my life plans are unravelling. I feel like I'm unravelling.

And I really shouldn't have read a bunch of jokes about how hard it is to be a mum. At first, they're kind of funny and they give me inspiration for stories involving kids, but especially when I'm not feeling great, they make me feel so, so guilty for making my mum's life hell. And especially the ones that talk about eighteen years of difficulties... I'm nineteen and there's still no end in sight for my poor hard-working parents. I just want to apologise to them for my whole existence.

As a newborn, I was wailing at the top of my lungs all night long.

At one year old, I was running around poking into everything and trashing the house.

At four years old, I made an incessant string of demands on my mother and threw tantrums when they weren't catered to.

At seven years old, I still expected her to carry my coat and bags. She carried my brother's, too.

At thirteen years old, I forced her to listen to the full account of my day every day and made her come up with constant creative ways to solve what may or may not have been depression.

And at nineteen years old, I'm disrupting her work with stupid Facebook messages about how shit I feel and worrying her sick by saying I wished I was dead.

It's days like this that wish I could just kill myself so she never has to look at my miserable face ever again. But then she'd be upset, and I don't want that. Sometimes I just feel like I don't deserve oxygen.

Sorry for the massive attention-grab, I just needed to vent.

 

You are worth it.
You are stronger than the BS that surrounds you.

 

43.5°C here today (110 °F). In a dry heat that would be bad enough, but if the wind's blowing, sweat evaporates and cools you down. The trouble is the humidity is at 85%. This means that sweat clings to skin and pools in clefts and folds, and puddles into a salty stew.

Sorry to the Northern hemisphere folks who have the opposite problem. Maybe if we swap stories, the world will end up a milder place all round.

 

All children burden their parents: your children will burden you, should you have any.
The good kids are the ones that realize it, and appreciate their parents' sacrifices, like you do.
The bad kids either don't realize it, or don't give a damn.

Don't apologize for your existence: they chose to have you, and made you who you are.
You're not a perfect daughter, but you're a good one, and growing into a better one.

And 19 seems to be the time to screw up: it's when I went from Dean's List to failing out of college.
Wasted a lot of my parents' money then. But I was young enough to recover from it.
Got my act together, met better friends, and my wife and I put ourselves through college.
Never took another dime from my parents for tuition -- they had my younger sibs to pay for.

When I finally did grow up, they were proud of me.

 

Couldn't stop thinking about you, @EstherMayRose. Hope this helps

19 15 there's still time for you.
Time to buy and time to lose
Hey 19 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live
...
19 15 I'm all right with you.​

 

Thank you for your concern, everyone. I'm feeling better now. I think I read it's a common thing to feel worse at night. The bad thoughts are gone now, although I'm sure they'll be back.

 

We don't have any problems here.

Night will be about -17°C. Sky will be clear. And we might get Aurora Borealis -show.

There is fire in a fire place. I will go to bed early and wake up at midnight. If we have a show in the sky, I'll wake kids and we'll drive somewhere where is less electric lights.

-17°C is ok. Not too cold, not too hot.

(I have had some problems because of a heat wave. We have had +5°C to -5°C temperatures and I fuckin' melt when I try to walk outside. I have used t-shirt and a thin coat with no lining, but it does not help. Weather has just been too hot.)

 

Life is good. It is hard, but good.

I have heard an explanation to word "bless". It was a bit like "to notice everything which is good".

My life has been blessed. I have noticed what is good and I have appreciated all of it.

My life has been hard, tough, difficult, years of depression, anxiety and death wish. But still blessed. There has been good things and I have been thankful of them.

Blessed be your life, EstherMayRose. See, hear, feel, taste, smell, think... what is good, has been good and will be good. Give all that the appreciation it needs. And then... Make it better, more blessed.

If you fail early, you have more time to recover and learn. Failing is important. We need it. Sometimes it is what we need to grow up.

And write down your failings. It's good material. You should use it later.

 

But without it you won't be prone to male pattern baldness.