The Not Happy Thread

Prom was yesterday, and it was absolutely fantastic, a night never to be forgotten...

But there are a couple of things that just seem to be choking me and drowning me in depression the day after. A bit of it is probably just nostalgia, and sadness that secondary school is now completely over, and all of us are never going to be together properly again. But the main part is being around the girl who used to be my best friend and (more or less) girlfriend. We were acting completely fine, having a great time with our - separate - friends. But it's as if someone has taken something from inside me, something vital to my health and happiness, and replaced it with poison. I just keep wishing that we could have spent this once-in-a-lifetime night as good friends, the way we used to be. But that couldn't happen, otherwise I would be posting this in the Happy thread. I couldn't stop looking over to see where she was, pristine and beautiful and perfect as always, hoping that she would be looking back at me across the dance floor. I got a couple of smiles, I think, but they were fleeting and it seemed to me like they had something hidden behind them, like sadness, or guilt, or sympathy. I think I would give anything for things to be the way they used to be between us.

My chest is hurting from all the mayhem of the night before, but there's another pain concealed behind it, and the only person I could ever share something so intimate with properly, ironically, was HER. So I kind of have to suffer this by myself. It sucks.

Sorry for the rant, I just wanted a source of outlet.

 

I loathe getting paid minimum wage for being the dishwasher where I work. I do the work of three dishwashers (at least), with four giant industrial sinks always full plus an industrial sanitizer all running simultaneously, and work far more than anyone else at the establishment, yet I make the least out of anyone. /rage

 

I know exactly how you feel. When something breaks, you can wish as much as you want for something to be whole again, but it just won't happen. It's not the same. It takes a whole, long time to even get close to getting back to how it used to be. It sucks, and I know what it's like.

I definitely get you on the sharing thing. When you have a boy/girlfriend they're usually the person you share everything with- so when that ends and you're left with pain of not being with them, you can't exactly go telling them how you feel...

I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. It will get better though, trust me.

 

There is a woman at my work, her name is Kathleen, and every time I bag for her, she is incredibly mean to me. Seriously, it's like NOTHING I do for her is right or will ever be right. She has this snotty way of talking to me that she doesn't seem to use for anyone else. Look, I know I'm new and that you've been here a while, but do you have to be so mean?

And pushing heavy carts inside for an hour in 80 degree heat with long sleeves and black pants... yeah, not the most fun thing to do, either.

 

Sorry to hear this...definitely been there, and it's never pleasant. I don't know you or her, so this advice may well be meaningless, but have you expressed these sentiments to her? I know plenty of situations where lack of understanding on both sides about how the other felt causes missed opportunities, and by the time everyone realises it, it is too late.

 

I haven't really been happy about several things all summer...

1) I need a job, but nobody is hiring
2) I need&want to go to college, but I have to complete a test beforehand.
3) I'm missing my friends dearly, who aren't making an effort to hang out with me.
4) I'm missing one parent when I'm with one and vise versa. (yes, they are divorced). I just can't wait to move out that way I can miss them both at the same time, instead of one over the other.
5) High school is officially over for me (has been for a while) and it's really getting to me.
6) I want a car, that way I can go wherever I want whenever (but that won't happen without a job)
7) I keep either losing sleep, or tossing and turning all night long, or not sleeping at night at all... and it's causing my days to be very depressing and boring. And lets just say I'm quite grouchy at times too.

 

I only got lucky with my job; I was in the same boat. Girlfriend's mom knew somebody who opened up a new restaurant... so now here I am, washing dishes.

I know the post-school feelings well; I've been out of high-school for four years now, and for the first two years, not one friend tried to contact me or do anything with me, even though I did everything but plead with someone to hang-out with. I didn't go off with a single friend for two solid years, it was rough, but hang in there, it'll get better.

 

I know how you feel with the no-job thing. I applied to SO MANY places before I got the job I have now, and I only got it a few weeks ago. It's disheartening, it really is, but you have to try to stay positive and send in applications everywhere you can think of. Chances are good a few of those places will give you an interview.

 

I've noticed that writers & wannabe writers are a pretty depressed group. Seriously, I'd think that it'd be healthier if many found a different hobby (yeah yeah, boo hiss).

 

From my experience in the service industry: here's a tip on how to deal with these people: Always agree.

"Why can't you bag faster?"

"You're right. I really need to learn how to bag faster."

"You know you're not supposed to wear white socks to work!"

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. I should know better."

"You need to get that done faster! We've got work to do here!"

"Yes. I really wish I could go faster."

Now if it starts to get personal, you take it to a manager and say "this person is harassing me." But as long as you have the right attitude to the job, this petty, mean sort of behaviour will wash right over you. Soon she will learn that picking on you serves no purpose, and if she has a problem with your job performance, she will address it in a more professional manner.

 

I'm so stressed about my novel. It's driving me insane. I feel like it's horribly written, it's not even slightly cohesive, I have too much dialogue, and it'll never be worth the paper it's written on.

Someone shoot me.

 

LaGs: Hopefully you can return to university (if that's what you want). It sucks your family think like that about you. I hate it when people downplay the importance of my writing, as if it's just a hobby and not to be taken seriously. If you can't find a writing group to join then perhaps set one up? If you go back to university, then that'd be easier because you can create a society and I'm sure there'll be people into writing as well as you.

Ubrechor: It hurts when you lose the person who you share things with. I know only too well that feeling. Does this girl know how you feel? An old friend of mine liked this guy, but by the time she got round to telling him how she felt it was too late. The guy admitted to feeling the same, but nothing could happen then, if only she told him sooner. So perhaps if you talked things out with her then things might be different? I don't know though. I'm sorry, but it will get better in time.

aimi_aiko: I know how you feel about the job thing. Keep applying and eventually something will come up. In the mean time, try and get work experience/volunteer work so you can add some more skills to your CV. I know about the whole friends thing too so sorry they aren't making an effort.

dizzyspell: It might be a good idea to take a break from your novel so you can come back with a fresh perspective. And I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think.

 

I've thought about this, and wondered why. I don't really know, but any writer worth his salt questions everything, again and again, and contemplates, and analyses, maybe over-analyses; and he looks within, and thinks about himself, and why he's this way, and he asks why couldn't it be another way. it's the constant questioning of everything that might warp his perspective on things that might not be as bad to the next person. He might exaggerate and blow things out of proportion. But as moping as writers can be, when things are happy, boy are they happy. Maybe bi-polar, who knows? lol

I'm probably not looking hard enough, as there's bound to be a writing society of some sort, or a journalism one at my university. I'm definitely going to show more enthusiasm about joining these kinds of groups though

 

That's what I do, mate. I over-think, over-analyze, etc. Glad to know I'm not the only one who does this.

 

Your not the only one. I think most of mine stems from the fact that I feel awkward around most people. I'm better with animals than people hands down. I have few social skills. I"m not saying I"m a hermit or anything because I'm not but.. I work so much that it makes getting out more nearly impossible. Plus, I don't trust people. I've met some really crappy ones So usually when I get down and depressed it's people related or just related to myself/life. I Don't think that is a condition specific to people who write or are creative though. I think a good number of people are that way. I think the rest of them are just better at either controlling and getting past it.. or hiding it.

Dizzy, as I've learned the more you edit and rewrite the better it gets. If your novel isn't what you want it to be then just keep plugging at it. It will get there in it's own sweet time, and it's own sweet way. Just enjoy the fact that your writing, and most of all enjoy what the story is telling you.

 

Thanks Eunoia and Corbyn.

I'm just in that messy editing phase at the moment, and I'm feeling annoyed that every time I go to it I have make major changes (rather than just fiddling with words). It's easy to forget that those big changes are a good thing and an essential part of writing, when all you see is that you haven't written a single scene that doesn't need a major upheaval. But no-one got anywhere by sitting on their arse and moaning about how much they suck, so I'm going to stop doing that now

 

Gah....finally realising that my year abroad is coming to an end...The first person, a good friend, left today and it was quiet emotional in our group . In a few days another is leaving followed by everyone having left by the end of July. I'm the last to leave on the 18th of August. Nice to be able to see everyone longer but it sucks watching all your friends you've met leaving one by one. Worst part is it could be a long time before we all see eachother again, because our groups partially from America and partially from Europe. Goodbyes suck! Hate when you over analyse it and every hallway or area you walked through becomes a memory.

 

Be sure to add them on Facebook or whatever social network is most common among the students! You'd be surprised how much sooner than you'd think some of you will be reunited.

 

If there is one thing I absolutely the about summer, it is the freaking mosquitoes!

 

Did you skip an "loa" ? Or am I filling in wrong? And if that is what you skipped, I agree

 

Stupid iPod Touch. I meant to have a "hate" in there. Sorry. and words in a different order... I hate about the summer.

 

awww, well it totally worked as "one thing I absolutely loathe about summer..."

I still agree

 

The bad news is that renovation drama has stretched into its fourth week. I miss my home.

The good news is that it should mercifully be over this Friday.

 

Hopefully it works out that way! Renovation drama sucks.

 

Earthquake earlier -_-

They're scarier when you're home alone.