This is a synopsis (or something like that). It is 1200 words. Forgive me if this is too long. Let me know what you think. Anton’s pursuers would catch him if he continued on the subway train. He got off at 125th Street station in Harlem and ran south on the 3rd Avenue. He ran across Harlem, Upper East Side, Midtown, Murray Hill, and Gramercy town. Reaching East Village he became tempted to turn right to Greenwich Village but then decided otherwise and went straight. Gloria wanted to go prog rock. Delilah had a bend towards punk. Ursula maintained a delicate balance between her two band mates. As a band, Black Light Fairies was transitioning from blues rock to something unknown. Bob didn’t believe in method acting. He worked with Lenny nonetheless and they helped each other grow. Jack was an experienced artist, a lyrical abstractionist painter and Silas was an established photographer. Jack hated photography and Silas thought painting is an outmoded art form. Lizzie was a budding filmmaker with a plethora of ideas and no fixed views about anything. These artists discussed feeling versus performance in all forms of art at Hilly’s in East Village. As they walked out, they found Anton lying on the sidewalk. They tried to talk to him and Anton ranted. They wondered if he was distressed or was performing. When he did not answer back, they took him home to 502, Wellraven apartments Upper East Side. *** The next morning, Gloria, Ursula, and Delilah played and Gloria and Delilah argued on music alternately. Delilah needed to live more and Gloria wanted output performance. Jack and Silas sat silently across each other at a table on the patio. Lenny and Bob discussed the ‘it’s not personal, Sonny’ scene from The Godfather. Lizzie watched everyone and also Anton. She was a laid back Zen with an agitated heart. Anton observed the flat and its people with marvel. When the argument got a bit more than she can take, Delilah brought out her banjo and fiddled with it. On the third day, their arguments rose higher and when Delilah brought out the banjo everyone said they would try to play it. In the end, Anton played the instrument and Delilah was very pleased. Gloria couldn’t tolerate this. Delilah flirted with Anton and then they left for the city. Gloria thought of destroying Delilah’s drum set. She thought of casual sex, of destroying her compositions. Then she realized it would only exhaust her and she had done those too many times. She needed something more challenging. *** Gloria went out on the streets and found it pleasant. She challenged herself to go to noisier places of the city. As she approached there she started losing her senses. At a jamming session, Delilah participated, and Anton sat around. Anton couldn’t play the banjo. He did not like that Delilah flirted with men. He failed to bring it up. Outdoors he was constantly vigilant and indoors he was withdrawn. Delilah talked to him about the people at the apartment. But Anton was distracted. Someone asked Gloria directions on the street, she knowingly told the wrong direction and the world seemed all right to her. She traveled the subway car to look at the city. The city felt fine with a faint heartbeat of its own. At the next jamming session Delilah pushed people a bit and they pushed her right back and told her to mind her own business. She got out cursing them. Anton’s silence provoked her to speak. The curses changed into praise for Gloria. Then she spoke of self-contempt. She found Anton’s silence annoying and went silent. Anton did not ask her to speak. He stayed vigilant. When they entered the building Gloria stood on the patio of the 5th floor flat and she saw them. Anton praised Delilah for who she was and they kissed. Gloria felt indifferent to this development. *** In bed with Delilah that night, Anton told her his guilt for leaving his people. Delilah said she left her home too. Anton – But they needed us, didn’t they. But did they accept us as we were? Anton’s anger emerged. When he struggled with anger Delilah told him to take his clothes off. She stripped for him too. Anton fell in a deep slumber after sex and Delilah worked on the beats in the quiet of the night. *** The next morning Delilah gave Gloria the beats for three songs of their album. Gloria ignored them. Anton talked to people and their disagreements opened wide open. People saw they were different and incompatible. They felt they had been holding each other back. Reserved resentment started to surface. Delilah pressed Gloria for reasons. Gloria said she didn’t want to make music anymore, that art is just waste of time. What were they accomplishing anyways? This struck Delilah hard and she unraveled. She cried she couldn’t go back to her severe father and tortured mother. She whimpered oscillating between she must stay and she couldn’t stay. Gloria said she would help her but Delilah wanted her person, not her charity. Gloria left for the town. She went in subways and eyed couples, straight and gay. Some turned away. Most got into a fight over attraction to someone outside the relationship. Some broke up on the spot. *** Dark Light Fairies lost the chance to produce their album. Lenny lost his acting audition. Jack cancelled his exhibition. Gloria said she quit the band. Delilah asked her to stay as a favor and she declined. Delilah withdrew like an injured animal. Anton comforted her. Delilah seemed beyond repair. The apartment at Wellraven seemed at a point of no return. *** The next day Gloria found Anton going somewhere on the subway train. She followed him. From the Bronx Avenue subway station, she followed him to a dilapidated building. The leader of the gang was Cousin. Cousin beat Anton. Anton did not defend himself and laughed. He was not scared. Not anymore. He did not retaliate. Cousin asked Anton why he betrayed his people and ran away. Anton said Cousin was the real betrayer who hurt his own and thought himself loyal. When Cousin pointed a gun to Anton’s head, Anton asked him, “Do it! Kill your own. Prove your loyalty.” Cousin threw away the gun, hugged Anton and asked, “Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?” Anton – “You gave me no other option. You people never listened to me.” Gloria watched this and found out that Anton burnt down his own home. He received insurance money for it. Cousin let him go. *** On his way back, Anton saw Gloria waiting for him at the Bronx subway station. They traveled back together. Anton told Gloria how much Delilah praised her and admired her. He said it is silly to not give another chance to someone who loves you so much. Gloria – And how many chances am I supposed to give her? Anton – As many as it takes. You people have something special at that apartment, especially Dark Light Fairies. Give yourself another chance. Gloria agreed on the condition that Anton would leave forever. He asked to say goodbye to people at Wellraven. Gloria forgave Delilah at the apartment. Jack and Silas also exchanged wisecracks. Lenny and Bob reconciled too. Lizzie giggled saying she did not anticipate this. After Anton left, Gloria told Delilah to go catch him, she was only testing Delilah if she was strong enough to make the sacrifice for music. She also told Delilah, she would never play the banjo again. Anton will.
He ran a 125 city blocks? Where was he going? He's going to have to start swimming if he doesn't stop soon. Also the proper terms are "THE Upper East Side" and "THE East Village." And Midtown generally refers to the central portion of the city south of Central Park (59th Street) and within the loose confines of 5th and 9th avenues, so you probably want him to be running through Midtown East if you plan on naming every neighborhood he runs through.
I'd definitely have taken the subway, or got in a yellow cab That aside as synopsis its far too long... you don't need to include the fluff like della finding the street pleasant, and you can summarise... the point of a synopsis is for the agent or publisher to quickly tell what the story's about. if they want to read 1200 words they'll move on to the first chapter
If it's a summary of the story I suggest putting into present tense. Think of it as explaining what happens in the book to someone as they would read it. Dark Light Fairies lose the chance to produce their album. Lenny loses his acting audition. Jack cancels his exhibition. Gloria says she quit the band. Delilah asks her to stay as a favor but she declines. Delilah withdraws like an injured animal. Anton comforts her. Delilah seems beyond repair. The apartment at Wellraven seems at a point of no return.
It seems to me that this isnt a synopsis for submission... i could be wrong, but perhaps the OP can clarify... @keysersoze did you put it in plot development originally in error, or was it in fact presented as a synopsis of your plot for people to comment on and help you develop it ? If it is for submission you need to set the scene much more and vastly summarise the important points - tell the publisher/agent what is this story about If its actually supposed to be in plot development... the issue we have is similar we don't know what story you are trying to tell or who any of these people are
It is going to be a chase sequence. I haven't figured out the details yet. I understand the proper article required. The Midtown mistake has also been pointed out accurately. It is not going to be mere naming of those areas. It will be something else. Something better. I haven't figured it out yet.
He can't take the subway because of his character. And he can't take a cab because he has no money. Yeah, synopses are shorter. Much shorter.
It is not a synopsis for submission. It is more of a summary but then not even a proper summary. I don't know what this is. I got a little too excited yesterday that I have come up with something that I'd like people's opinion about down here. I initially posted it in plot development because I thought this is a plot. And it is hard for me to separate plot from character development. The plot entails Gloria's transformation as a person. I will keep that in mind. But this was more for the development of my plot. I do not understand the usual way of how one is supposed to do that. This is how I write. I mull over a story, I write it in detail. Then I summarize, cut short unnecessary details. Then expand on what I see is more important. Writing runs through many iterations of this process. What I have shared came after a few. I do not know the appropriate format of how one is supposed to talk about this at the forum. I wanted to talk about the story, the characters and the plot. I am at a loss here because the standard process does not match mine. Can there be a way that I share what I write and get some kind of a feedback mid-process? Or would it be instructive for me to finish a story and only then share it for a feedback? Thanks for your comment. There is still a lot for me to learn.
I've put it back in plot development for now (and removed the synopsis tag because it isnt)... you can share your actual writing in the workshop for feedback...but we ask that you also give feedback on other peoples writing. in terms of general development the main thing that strikes me about this story is that its not really a plot, its a partial plot in which some stuff happens... you need to establish a background of who the characters are so the reader understands what is going on... especially the link between anton being chased and the band seeking a record deal... also i wouldnt introduce the new character of cousin so close to the end... maybe include a scene with him earlier so that people know theres more to antons past than he lets on
In my experience, a synopsis should be 500 words maximum, but most agents want 300 words and I've seen one that asked for 100 words. On average, it should fit in 1 double space typed page. You will most often find a "1 page synopsis" requirement. Your synopsis, as it stands, is far too long. I have found condensing it to 300 words to be useful, and it is often better than my 500 word ones.
