I am sure everyone has heard or believes in some theory which explains why some things in life simply insist on happening. Let me give you an example: The sock fairy. It is a fairy who flies through people's bedrooms, stealing one pair of their socks and magically disappearing, while leaving its owner wondering if the missing pair of sock can ever be found. No one has ever seen a sock fairy. But there is plenty enough of evidence that it exists. Just want to hear some other "theories" like that. I'm pretty sure there are plenty out there, so if anyone knows any, make the forum believe in it too!
Ways to Make Rain. 1) Plan a barbecue. Invite lots of people. Rent a marquee. 2) Plan an outdoor wedding. Invite lots of people. Rent a marquee. 3) Do a large load of awkward laundry, like sheets and bedspreads, hang them out to dry, THEN GO TO WORK. 4) Decide to mow the lawn with your electric mower. 5) Forget to fix that leaky roof. ................ Can you tell I live in Scotland? Mind you, I ended a 96-day drought in Michigan, one summer, by employing number 3. Worked a treat. Created the Mother of All Thunderstorms. Farmers were busy singing hosannas, but It Was Me.
My parents would talk about "The Mother and Father of All Thunderstorms"...it appears the single-parent family is on the rise.
You arrive at the health care center, your appointment with the doctor is at 10 am; you make sure to come at 9:50 so you don't risk being late. You see the latest patient leave the doctor's room the moment you arrive at the waiting lounge. You think, yay, I'm sure I'll be called in soon. At 10:10 there's still no sign of the doc. At 10:20, nothing. No one else has come out of the room. What's taking so long, for fuck's sake? At 10:30, still nothing. 10:45... 10:55... 11:04: the doctor's door opens and she peeks out, calls your name. Why did it take so long? The theory: She's got a mini golf set she takes out after a patient leaves, then leisurely plays a few rounds while you sit in the lounge, checking your watch, cursing the world. Or, she's a dragon trainer. She's got a baby dragon in the cupboard, and between patients, she has to take it out, feed it, play with it, teach it to sit and roll over. This would be forgivable, the only forgivable reason to keep me waiting for an hour.
Since a theory is used to build workable models and predict future events, this might actually be a scientific theory.
Want to give $500 to the government? Go one mile per hour over the speed limit on a long road that no-one drives on...
Companies should exploit this. "Buy two now, in case you lose one." You could add a separate room to your house, to store all the duplicates. This would also cause the building trade to boom. Win win win.... Why is that George Osborne running the finances of this country? Me me. I'll improve the economy for ya....
No no, you miss the point entirely. You don't want to give the second one away for free. You don't make much money on that. You want the consumer to AUTOMATICALLY choose to buy two, just in case. You want to double your income, not get rid of stock for half price.
The opposite of this is that umbrellas are magic rain warding sticks. The bigger, the more effective. If you bring a big golf umbrella with you and it doesn't rain all day, you may feel you're carting the thing around for nothing. You'd be wrong. It's far less likely to rain if you've brought your umbrella.
If you want to get really drunk on a night out, leave the house promising yourself you'll not drink a lot. You'll wake up with a traffic cone on your head, garrunteed.
Oh yes, have done that. Ditto a large raincoat, carried over the arm. And wear wellies. Guaranteed NOT to rain. Did you ever get the notion that the main force driving the Universe is Perversity?
Yeah, this. You check out the weather forecast, ok, looks like it's gonna rain. A few hours later, the streets are still dry, the clouds just hang there in the sky, indecisive, and I feel like a proper dolt, walking around in my bright blue rubber boots.
There's definitely some kind of cosmic link between cameras and skin condition. Plan to attend a wedding, birthday party, any place where that deadly soul catcher is wielded = the magic spell to summon acne.
What would happen then if you hang out a large load of awkward laundry to dry, and then go out to work with a huge umbrella? Would it be like one of those cat-tied-to-peanut-butter-sandwich (see which side hits the ground first) kind of theories?
Wear an extra warm coat on a chilly-looking downcast day. The sun's guaranteed to come out just when you've gone far enough from the house to make it impossible to go back and change and you're doomed to roast for the day The reverse also works. Go out with no coat on a hot sunny day - 10min later it's f-ing freezing!
That's not an experiment I've tried, because we tend to use a tumble dryer. I don't know if it would cause a localised shower back home. If you work near enough home for that to be unrealistic I'd guess washing trumps umbrellas, because rain on the washing would be more annoying.
The washing machine is actually a time machine - warping lone socks into the past or into the future so that someone, somewhere can say - where did this sock come from? I can't find it's mate.
And then one day a child climbs into the washing machine... At first she didn't know that anything had happened, because when she crawled out again, everything was the same as her own house. The countertops, the red-cushioned chairs around the dining table. Only she didn't remember there being tulips on the table, nor the orange juice that was definitely not in the fridge. Mum would get so mad at that every time, so she knew someone was in trouble. It's only when she made for the door to the garden that she noticed the cat food in its red plastic bowl. And standing by the fence with a basket of laundry in her arms was a woman with caramel hair knotted loosely into a bun, chatting with the neighbour. It wasn't Mum, and she didn't recognise the neighbour either. A knot weighed in her stomach. Swallowing, she pressed against the glass door, unable to move, unable to take her eyes off the woman by the fence, because she was wearing Mum's rose quartz bracelet. And when the woman lifted her hand to laugh, for a second there the little girl thought of Mum. And etc... if I wrote anymore I'd feel the need to edit... lol
In springtime, the pixies paint all the leaves green. This makes all the trees look vibrant and new. During summer, the paint fades and the leaves no longer look new. At the end of the summer, the pixies need to repaint the leaves but by that time, they've used up all their green paint, since there are so many green things in summer. They have no alternative but to use all the other colors they have left over, which results in a variety of browns. All the leaves die and fall off the trees because they've been painted the wrong color. The king of the pixies gets so annoyed with his incompetent staff that he orders everything painted white, as a blank-canvas ready for painting the following spring.
This is lovely! Somehow when I read "all the trees look vibrant and new" I was convinced all the tress had been painted pink... like this:
