Ha ha. I've been good, thank you; just got on a major streaming kick, lol. I had someone who follows me on Twitch, and visits my Tumblr page from time to time, ask to see some of the Asylum Memoirs I've written, and he really liked what he read so far, so it jump-started my motivation to finish the Memoirs; they've been much improved.
There was this crossover between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Blade that I wrote some twenty years ago. Without going into any embarrassing details, let's just say it was really bad. It's particularly notable because I actually realized how terrible it was while I was writing it. And you need to understand, that level of self-awareness has always been rare for me when it comes to creative pursuits. Bizarrely, it actually ended up one of my more popular works at the time, but I was still so dissatisfied with it I ended up deleting it a while later. Again, it's somewhat rare for me to ever out-right get rid of anything I've written. I don't really regret writing it because that whole ordeal did teach me something about listening to my instincts, but I am glad it no longer exists. You know, a while back I went dug up an old fanfic I wrote around the same time as the Buffy/Blade one, to see how much I'd improved. Now, I distinctly recall putting a lot of effort into that one, trying my damnedest to make sure it was as good as possible, and that I was very proud of it. But now that I looked at it way later, it's... pretty much exactly the kind of crude beginner's fanfiction I see all the time and just gently roll my eyes at. It's not even above average amateur writing. And yet, I could still sorta see where I was going with it and why I was excited about telling that story. And, well, there's something endearing about that. I just hadn't learned how to tell proper stories at that point, on an intuitive level. And that's fine, I was young and inexperienced. So I left it alone and it's probably still out there. But that first one I mentioned? Yeesh. That one was just not a good idea.
That must be Magimals. The story of Amanda, a girl who travel from town to town, catches these creatures called magimals whom she trains and then battle against other trainers. She wins every fight in a single round and when she gets to the championship, she becomes the number one Trainer Master on her first try. Yeah, a Pokémon rip-off rather than normal fanfiction. One that would get you sued if it was somehow miraculously released officially. And I was 17 when Pokémon came here! THAT’S embarrassing!!
When I was a kid, I wrote a story about these medieval bandits in a cypress swamp who hang-glided from tree to tree. On their gliders they had gatling guns that shot arrows. I remember being so ambitious with it that I never finished it. All I had was one chapter. I really wish I still had that file, just for a laugh. I wrote it with Bank Street Writer on my Apple IIc.
I tried to write a novel that was basically about a guy running from Blackpool to st annes... I invented these rubbish situations he experienced... yeah nothing happens!
When I was in my late teens I wrote about two thirds of a novel called wild justice (which i hasten to add has nothing at all to do with the book of the same name I'm about to release), it featured these two guys called Mike and Sean who when the power goes out, go out into the dark equipped with 9mm pistols which they just happen to have (in tightly gun controlled UK)... it was truly truly excreable... i found a copy the other day and OMG what was I thinking?.. a small excerpt "as they were passing Butlers Cross a movement caught Sean's eye on the golf course, suddenly shapes charged towards them in the night. He turned firing, so fast that the first shell casing was still in the air when he fired his 17th round [yeah that happens, jesus] Next to him Mike emptied his piece just as fast, then the two of them stood looking at the carnage. "Sheep" mike said "what the fuck?" Why would sheep do that?" Sean replied, "whats that over there by the 18th green?" [how does he know its the 18th? who knows?]. "Fuck me, reload" Mike ejaculated "timber wolves" " It went on in that vein getting dafter by the moment for 47 thousand painful words... the plot such as it was suggested that a government conspiracy had released genetically engineered killer wolves into the countryside, although for what purpose i never determined as Mike and Sean take them on with an ever increasing array of bizarre weaponry.. then my then girlfriend did me the solid of explaining that it was utter shit and that my time would be better spent doing more or less anything else.
I didnt finish it - which was probably just as well (in that scene Sean and Mike were saved by the arrival of two preposterously hot women in a jeep cherokee.)
Small wonder, the body style of a cheep jerokee inhibits view of said hot females. If it was a Wrangler, it would've all worked out great!
My angsty, middle school poetry. It's super cringeworthy. I thought I was the shizz.... But I have those notebooks now, and it's terrible. Some honestly make me want to cry (not because it's bad, but because the way I was feeling back then... Why didn't anyone say anything or do anything? If I didn't have running, or writing, I don't know where I'd be now...), The rest of it is super garbage. Think Poe's Anabelle Lee.... But different variations of it...over....and over again with forced flowery language
When I was around 14-15 years old, my best friend and I used to write stories about the Beatles! Yelp. Fortunately none of these stories still exist ...at least not in my house. She might have saved hers. Hers were better than mine. It's when I realised I couldn't write without heavy editing ...and that was WAY before the days of wordprocessors.
When I was in my early teens I used to post my writings on an online forum. They were terrible and were very inspired by video games and anime. Not the best sources for inspiration really. I'm still glad I wrote them though, it taught me how to write a lot even if it was terrible.
Holy hell, this is beautiful. Your commentary makes it even better. Same. I actually read through the old drafts of one of the first books I started writing, and my god. The amount of cringe and creep factor from the main male lead made me wonder why I thought any of the plot was good at one time. I had several people tell me they loved the story too, and I just... I want to message them and ask if they're okay now.
