The Worst Stuff You've EVER Written

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Steve Rivers, Dec 27, 2019.

  1. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Given me flashbacks of that Rom-Rotica I had to stop reading a couple months ago.
    I swear the MC and her Love interest were from alien worlds, and it was inspired by
    the 50 Shades craze. o_O
    I deleted the book from my kindle, and wondered just who in the hell thought it was good.
     
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  2. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    I mean, it wasn't that bad. But it was still written by my past self who had no idea how anything worked in a relationship and it was weird as hell. I can't believe I thought it was good storytelling.
     
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  3. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    Pretty much everything I write. Take your pick.

    Last week I actually self-deprecatingly uploaded a very old haiku (that isn't even a haiku except in terms of syllable count) on my social media, with a picture of Drake to suggest my feelings about it.

    For a Klondike bar,
    what am I willing to do?
    Anything, for you.


    SnFcZhnlFY2P2kiC20kBoKRIpvPCGwq0Rt1Kw5iE.png

    I got drunk one night and called Klondike hoping I could pitch a Valentine's Day ad to them (because in Drunk World, that's how that works). Luckily for them—and myself—they never picked up the phone.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
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  4. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    I wasn't comparing, just reminded me of a booktuber whose book I happened
    to read from a trilogy she wrote (she has 14 Books and few collabs). Just reminded
    me of her book was all, though I am sure you are much better a writer than she. :)
    I am sure if you look her up on amazon (Lyra Parish) you will understand just how
    bad it is. :bigeek:
     
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  5. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Thank god there was no internet or self-publication at the time—or even posing as a glass owl wouldn't protect me today.

    We just worked on our handwritten 'stories' at night and on the weekends, then traded our notebooks the next day at school and read the stories. Traded the notebooks back and talked about Beatles on the walk home from school every day.

    Funny, I don't actually remember throwing them away, eventually. I only know I don't have them now, and haven't had them SINCE high school. (Yikes. I assume somebody threw them away.)
     
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  6. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    Oh. Those were yours?

    I donated them to the National Music Fangirl Museum, where they are now displayed next to a photo gallery of Justin Bieber cultists. :(
     
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  7. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Ha ha! But I bet I'm not a glass owl ...yet.... :eek:

    Justin Bieber? In the same paragraph as The Beatles? Have a care....
     
  8. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    Assume or hope? :)
     
  9. Fervidor

    Fervidor Senior Member

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    Hey now, I resemble that remark.

    There's nothing at all wrong with being influenced by things you like: That just means they had something that made you care about them. It's simply a matter of understanding whatever made them influence you in the first place, and how you can use those influences to tell stories that are distinctly yours and meaningful to you.
     
  10. Thorn Cylenchar

    Thorn Cylenchar Senior Member

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    Worst thing I've ever written: Anything I've submitted to the short or flash contests judging by the number of votes they receive. Well, at least I'm consistent.:write:
     
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  11. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

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    Please finish it. I really want to read it :-D
     
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  12. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I have actually contemplated going back to it - with much improved writing it could be fun
     
  13. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    Let me tell you about Ghoul Worthington and his dog, Smash. :supergrin:

    Loved that!
     
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  14. Wild Knight

    Wild Knight Senior Member

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    (One of) my worst works that I have recently found came from 2011. It was unfinished, but I did have a plan for it that I wrote down.
    It involved a snake man running an inn, whose grand plan was to feed his all-male guests some roided out clove soup (or something) that would make them all horny and have an orgy.
    I'm SO glad that I lost interest and stopped before I got anywhere close to the soup. o_O
     
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  15. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Well, we like to think (or at least hope) our writing gets better with time, don't we? But everything I read of mine - save for the odd poem - is the worst.
     
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  16. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    This thread reminded me that there is a harddrive out there with my early writing on it.

    Its mere existence alone has ensured that I can never run for office.
     
  17. Wild Knight

    Wild Knight Senior Member

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    My new goal: take the worst writing I have, and rewrite it to something else! Or else destroy all evidence...
     
  18. Rzero

    Rzero Reluctant voice of his generation Contributor

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    The worst stuff I've ever written? Almost anything I was proud of until its first reread. I'm a very neurotic writer. Everything is either genius or trash and likely to swap sides on a second look. Oh the completely un-unique tragedy that is me.
     
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  19. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    Random flashback to the time I wrote a Harry Potter fanfic with an original character who was smarter than Hermione and Draco loved her by the end of it. Or he would have if I finished it.
     
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  20. SNJade96

    SNJade96 Senior Member

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    I started writing a Percy Jackson fanfic back in the day, and it had the worst plot idea ever - the main character was the daughter of Kronos. And instead of everyone being afraid of her like they realistically would be, they were just like "Hm. Interesting." It was absolutely horrible. The worst part is that I thought it was the best idea in the history of fanfic.
     
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  21. Steve Rivers

    Steve Rivers Contributor Contributor

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    It will be a cold day in hell before anyone topples Kirk and Spock FanFic Erotica!
    Rey and Kylo? Ppppppffffffffffftttttttt..... positively vanilla! :D hehe
     
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  22. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    :supergrin:
    [​IMG]
     
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  23. SNJade96

    SNJade96 Senior Member

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    Touché. The whole "Rylo" ship is much, much worse.
     
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  24. Catrin Lewis

    Catrin Lewis Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Community Volunteer

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    It's a good thing Internet fan fiction didn't exist in the late 1980s. That kept me from putting to paper the Magnum, P.I., fan fics I scripted out in my head. In one of these I totally rewrote the final episode, putting myself in as the love interest. Of course.

    Cringe!

    (That said, I still think my plot was better than the actual one, which IMO sucked.)
     
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  25. GraceLikePain

    GraceLikePain Senior Member

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    I wrote Starcraft fanfiction. Took it pretty seriously, so it wasn't as cringe as it could have been. But I did attempt to make a pretty bad "comedy" story. It involved an archon wearing tighty-whities. I am forever ashamed. Oh, and on a forum that no longer exists, we wrote stories where people on the forums were very strongly implied to be in a relationship with Starcraft characters. The less said about that, the better.

    Catrin, you've got me curious. How did that show end?
     
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