IDK, I just make shit up as the story goes along, and it just happens to kinda work. So who knows, but I do have trouble plodding along lately at it. Must be because in part the first book didn't do so well at market, and at this point I just want to give it an ending. IDK.
It's all too easy for a writer to think they're great one day and then really suck the next. That has been my experience at least. I really try, but sometimes it doesn't matter. My lover thinks I'm crazy because I'm planning to rewrite my novel from scratch. I work things that never come together. I give up on things. Sure, I finish things, but a very small portion of that actually gets published. I work hard and I want this bad. But I always wonder if I have what it takes. And the roller coaster of loving and hating my work is just maddening. Do you doubt yourself?
Everyone doubts themselves, my friend. There are points, secret and private, where giving up is really the only sane course of action to take; where no matter how much you've struggled, it seems like your efforts are a waste of time and the people around you who have told you to quit are so right that its painful to admit you ever thought you stood a chance. Where all logic tells you to surrender to the safe, the mundane, and the expected--to abandon the creative and join the ranks of the predictable yet comfortable. Don't listen to those moments. You can succeed. You can persevere with drive alone. No one else on Earth perceives the world in quite the same way you do, and for that reason, what you write will be the perfect combination of familiar and foreign. You can enthuse people, enthrall people--encourage people; not everyone, but enough of everyone. You can be, and I believe this, the writer you want to be. Work harder than the person next to you: they'll resent you for it, because your drive reminds them of what they could be if they weren't such a coward. If you give up, you'll hate yourself twenty years down the line. If you try, try your damndest--not the half assed "I'm trying" sort of try where if you fail you can excuse yourself with a "well I wasn't really giving it my all"--no, if you try your damndest, put everything you have into it, you'll be able to look back at it with pride. Even if you fail, you tried something to the absolute best of your ability. And who the hell will be able to judge you who hasn't done the same?
As far as writing goes? No. I do my best and and learned to temper my expectations a long time ago. Besides, I'm turning 40 in a couple of days, and if history is any indication, I'm just starting to enter my prime. 40 is like 22 in football years.
Wow, never knew that I'm in my prime years! Some things make a lot more sense now As far as doubting goes: Sure. Not of the story or my drive to write it down, but of my actual ability to put words together that say what I'd like to say. But I'm stubborn as a mule, so I'll predict I'll not budge an inch and write it anyway to the end (not talking about the quality of writing at this point ).
That was certainly my situation - every single moment of my writing successes has come to me in my 40's. Hell, I didn't even start writing at all until I was 39 years old!
I definitely doubt myself, but really it's more worrying about other people's perceptions of my writing. If I was writing solely for myself, I'd have very little doubt; I primarily write the things that I want to read, so I'm usually very satisfied with my own work. It's worrying that my publisher, reviewers and readers won't share my enthusiasm that spikes my anxiety. I've mentioned before that I'm not really in it for the money (which is great, because I don't make very much of it!); my real desire is to write stories that readers devour and gush over, posting on Goodreads and social media that my book made them cry, or get hot and bothered, or both! Pretty much all of my doubt comes from the court of public opinion.
Yes, I most definitely doubt myself. I can be elated about my work one day and be ready to never write anything else ever again the next. I've found that I just need to tell myself that the doubt will pass. And it has, every time. So far. It also helps to have someone to talk to when you're feeling like that. And it helps to just back away from writing as a whole, too. Just until you aren't doubting yourself any more. I'll find something else to do until the doubt passes.
I doubt myself, in general, to an extent I'd qualify as nearly morbid. Obviously this translates into my writing. I tend to do things like that as well, completely scratching off, or planning to completely scratch off, things I've put a lot of effort into because I'm so disappointed in the result, with the aim to start them all over again. And to work on things that never come together, which thing I hate. And to roller-coast between loving and hating my new stuff. So, basically, this post is pretty much an exact replica of your own without any added suggestion, which I'm sure will make it very helpful to you.
I do and I don't to say otherwise is lying. I am guessing everyone does but it is part of assertiveness hence doubting. I mean doubting Thomas is probably the root of all this.
Yes. I started writing expecting to quit, sabotaging my work with ridiculous challenges, which backfired massively. It makes me wonder if God didn't really want to create the universe, but it just burst forth from pure expression. There is something wrong in the cosmos, and I will wear out keyboards to find it. When I do, I will either save the world, or destroy the universe.
Absolutely. Especially when I see what other people consider to be "good writing" and it's blatantly clear I'm not hitting the mark.
I don't think I doubt myself, but possibly that's because I don't have quite the lofty aspirations some seem to. I know I'm a capable writer. I know I'm not a creative genius. There's no doubt in my mind in either direction.
All I know is having no doubts what-so-ever is to be a fool, as none are too conceited to believe that all that they do is without fault. Though those who are arrogant will fail to see that they have faults that do give rise to doubts.
all day every day. even the shorts i've gotten published, i doubt. i keep thinking "they just needed one more and randomly selected me" its weird, i used to be more confident when I was writing in elementary and middle school. Even writing fanfictions anonymously, I was confident. but as an adult, I've been writing and writing and not letting people read my stuff because I doubt its any good. that, and no one wants to read my stuff anymore (family... they always cause a fuss "well how long is it?" "i'll get to it when i get to it" "you want me to read it now?" ) and that makes me doubt myself more. like, if its such a chore to read what I wrote, i must not be good at it. so i write, keep it to myself, ask for advice when I need it, and hope for the best!
Pretty much how I look at it. I'm good at writing... I have shit to say that people like. Maybe one day I'll get some money for it, but it ain't like I can put the mortgage, career, and life on hold to better facilitate it, so... who knows? I'm too old for the gentile poverty/struggling artist lifestyle. I have expensive tastes and want to retire comfortably someday, which is a much more tangible, attainable goal.
Sometimes, perhaps, the struggling artist lifestyle chooses us. Maybe? I don't know. I know life can be a struggle regardless if someone is an artist or not. I wouldn't say I struggle because of my art or writing, but the struggle is real and I know it all too well. Life can just be hard sometimes or always.
I've had the same thoughts about my published short stories. It's hard to know why some work gets picked up by a big place after it was rejected my a dozen smaller publications. To be a fly on the wall at some of these editorial meetings...
Sometimes it seems like I'm not even aiming in the right direction. I totally know where you're coming from.
I'm a pretty prosaic person, I think. Not an ounce of "artistic temperament" in my whole body. It makes everything so much simpler!
It's because she has a comfy corner in the market and doesn't have to worry about things since she has established a good sized fanbase. Unlike us noobs that are lucky if we even sell a dozen copies in a year. So it all comes down to why should she have doubts when she worked her way to a place that is comfortable and can pretty much just keep a foot hold of it. So I have no doubt that she has little to fret when it comes to doubting her own personal prowess because of where she is.
Not really, no. I've always considered myself a good writer, even back when I was a teenager and was actually a bad writer, I still thought of myself as awesome. I still think the same now of my writing. Alpha and beta readers seem to confirm my belief so far I guess whether I actually get published will tell, to some extent. But I think that's also because of my mindset. It's never been, "I'm not good enough." But it has always been, "I want to be better." For me, it's not about the perfect script. It's not about that at all. For me, it's about improvement. That is the real goal for me. I'll do whatever it takes, take whatever criticism I must, in order to tell the best story I can tell. So when your goal is on improvement - or mastery - and not perfection, suddenly it gets a lot easier. Because perfection doesn't exist, but reaching for it is a joy in itself. Whether you're good or not doesn't even matter. What matters is learning. And if you're always learning, you can be sure you're probably doing all right
