Things people say to writers

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Pauline, Jun 23, 2017.

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  1. Clementine_Danger

    Clementine_Danger Active Member

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    "Oh, I've written a novel too."
    "Cool, can I read it?"
    "Well, I mean, I haven't actually written written it yet, but, you know, it's all there."
     
  2. Night Herald

    Night Herald The Fool Contributor

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    "So, you write... Why?"

    "Fantasy? Oh, yeah, like Lord of the Rings!"

    "Science Fiction? Oh, yeah, like the Star Wars!"

    "Are you going to publish/when are you going to publish/why isn't your book done yet?"

    "What's your book about?"

    "You know we have movies now, right?" (This was actually said because I let it slip that I read books, but I felt like including it anyways)

    "I should be a character in your book" (I actually indulged one of my friends who said this to me. I don't know if his part will make the cut, but it's actually kinda cool)

    "You should write a book about me!"

    "We should write a book together, I have this great idea..."

    "I have to read something of yours sometime."

    "This is weird, I don't understand it, why can't you write something normal?"

    "I'm sure it's a nice hobby."
     
  3. Earp

    Earp Contributor Contributor

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    This is my favorite, usually followed by, 'you write it, and we'll split the profits 50/50'.
     
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  4. Night Herald

    Night Herald The Fool Contributor

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    Yes, exactly! Because we all know that million-dollar idea is the tricky part.
     
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  5. Clementine_Danger

    Clementine_Danger Active Member

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    This one gives me fucking hives. Because clearly there's nothing that people who choose the most solitary job in the world enjoy more than lopsided group projects with pushy extroverts.
     
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  6. Night Herald

    Night Herald The Fool Contributor

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    Indeed. Writing is hard enough when you have only yourself to answer to. To make matters worse, the person most prone to suggesting this insists that it be erotica. I mean, way kinky stuff. Way.
     
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  7. Clementine_Danger

    Clementine_Danger Active Member

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    Holy shit dude, BOUNDARIES. Damn.

    Not that I don't write fucked up erotica, because I absolutely do, but writing kinky erotica with a happy-go-lucky extrovert who doesn't do boundaries is a recipe for boiled bunnies.
     
  8. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Things people say to writers

    'So, when you going to move out your parents' house, and get off your arse, you louse? I mean with the greatest respect.'

    'Nnng, I'm witing my epic 400,000 fantasy adventure, one day the world will hear me roar, pffff.'

    'What was that?'

    'It was the wind in my pyjamas.'

    'Give me strength, just sign here where it says "front-line combat," good boy, have a hobnob.'
     
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  9. Night Herald

    Night Herald The Fool Contributor

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    I don't know what 'boiled bunnies' might be an euphemism for, and I'm okay with not knowing.
     
  10. Clementine_Danger

    Clementine_Danger Active Member

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    Horrifyingly, it's not a euphemism.
     
  11. Night Herald

    Night Herald The Fool Contributor

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    Oh. In that case, it sounds rather tasty.
     
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  12. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    "What do you want to do with your life?"

    "I'm a writer."

    "But what do you expect to do for a living?"
     
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  13. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I'm guessing you are too young to have seen 'fatal attraction' - basically a guy has an affair/one night stand and when he won't leave his wife for her the 'mistress' goes super weirdo stalker... including in one scene boiling his children's pet rabbit on the stove.. hence the term "bunny boiler" for a girl (or guy i guess) who its best not to bget involved with no matter how attractive she is

     
  14. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    "Writing? Women don't find that attractive."

    I call bullshit. My dangling participles bring all the girls to the yard.
     
  15. EstherMayRose

    EstherMayRose Gay Souffle Contributor

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    You know I've said that my family are nice and supportive? Well, I meant my parents. Here's this gem from my brother: "You know writers sometimes say that they put themselves into their books?"

    "Yes?"

    "Well, your MC likes the same books as you. And she uses the same words. And she's terrible at sports."

    Oh my goodness, we're the same person! :rolleyes:
     
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  16. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    Right, because books and words and lack of athletic ability comprise the whole of an individual. :rolleyes:

    My current main character, Jester, was me for a long time. Then he morphed into his own person, but we're still similar. I don't think we can avoid putting a slice of ourselves into each character.
     
  17. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

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    I don't think I've written much of myself into my MC's, but I've have some side characters that in retrospect were cases of definite self-insertion. Weirdly, they often wind up being some of my reader's favorite characters!
     
  18. EstherMayRose

    EstherMayRose Gay Souffle Contributor

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    To be honest, the idea for that book came from reading another book and thinking about what I'd do in the main character's situation, so there will always be a bit of me in Vanna, even though she's grown away from me a lot.
     
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  19. Night Herald

    Night Herald The Fool Contributor

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    Well, I am too young to have seen it when it came out (I was -2 at the time) but I like movies from the 80s and 70s. Never happened to catch this one, though. That's some pretty fucking gnarly stuff, right there.
     
  20. Sclavus

    Sclavus Active Member

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    "Can I borrow your characters for my own story?"

    [​IMG]
     
  21. EstherMayRose

    EstherMayRose Gay Souffle Contributor

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    Definitely the weirdest one:

    "Is that your diary?"

    "No."

    "Yes it is, I can see it!"
     
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  22. jay_t

    jay_t New Member

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    My friend said to me the other day: "fiction is easy. You could easily do 10,000 words a day".

    Yeah I could do 10k words a day - if those words were terrible. Or I just wrote my name over and over again.
     
  23. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I'd have asked him to tell me about all the books he'd written :D I can do about 2-3k on a good day , if its peaceful and there's no distraction
     
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  24. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Stephen King does 2k/day. No one has ever accused him of being lazy, but very few have accused him of being a great writer...
     
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  25. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I we assume there are about 500 minutes in a working day ... so to write 2k words you'd have to write 4 words a minute, 1 every 15 secs .... that's doable if you don't have to do too much thinking , to write 10k you'd need to write 20 words per minute, one every three seconds ... its just about practical , but there's hardly any thinking time
     

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