Things people say to writers

My mum's great - she's been my beta reader for three years now and she's always been honest but encouraging - and very enthusiastic.

 

It was to frustrate my future biographers

And, well, I knew I was writing this oedipal romance; teenage boy getting together with the woman who brought him up. And it's set in a Christian cult and so I wanted to find a biblical woman's name for her. And when I ran my eye down a list of possible names I just broke into the biggest grin when I found my mum's name Oh, also, when they are in bed together she talks dirty to him like he's about eight years old, like "Mmm my good boy..." and it's weird and sexy and weird and awesome.

And for some reason my mother took umbridge at this *rolls eyes*

 

Horrifying parents when they find out what my books are actually about is kinda my goal as a writer

 

I'm aiming for excommunication, though it appears that no one in my church is willing to admit they read the kind of trash I write.

 

A laudable goal. Sadly I would have to join a church to get kicked out of it, so I'm sticking with the more reliable corrupting the nations youth.

 

If you’re looking for a quick easy way, here is what you must do:

• Grab a friend of yours of the same gender (it helps if said friend is also not white.) March up to the alter wearing a long bathrobe. Get the pastor/reverend’s attention.

• STRIIIIIPP!!!!

• Grab your friend and give him/her a biiiiiiiiiig kiss on the mouth.

• Flip off pastor/reverend.

• ???????

• PROFIT!!!!

 

In most churches I know the priest quite enjoys watching that sort of thing.

 

It's like -30°C here. Also, being gay isn't a sin as long as you don't have sex. And as much as I'd love to have a big ol' bout of gay sex up in front of my congregation, the -30 shrinkage is likely to turn my boystick from an outie to an innie, in which case, no dice and everyone would just end up confused and I'd get a stern talking to by my mother.

 

To be honest you're likely to get a talking to from your mother just for having written that

 

Nah, not serious enough. That's just something that she'd repress until it manifests itself as a tumor or mini-stroke.

I wrote a short story about a priest having an affair with a gay vampire, but I'm technically protestant, so I think I got a pass.

 

I can see it now - Tarts and Vicars; a novel of baking and buggary.

 

It's Sunday morning and I'm hungover, between this thread and the "What to get for the dad who hates everything" I just read, its feeling pretty surreal.

 

Where do you live man? My timezone map suggests Vladivostok, Guam or Eastern Australia and while in any of those cases I can sympathise with heavy drinking you're still up way too early to be hungover.

 

Osaka, Japan, and Bacchus just told me to wake up. I'll take a nap later on, I'm sure.

 

They still do Sake in a can over there?

 

Little glass cups

 

(This isn't something specifically said to writers, but I'm still salty about it and this is the closest thread I can find to one where I can say this, plus it does involve a character)

My mom insisted that my nonbinary character was just confused. I spent about ten minutes trying to explain that no, you don't have to be one or the other before I was forced to agree to disagree.

 

I'm sorry?

 

If you give this website your birth date, it automatically displays what it thinks your age is. Your profile says you were born in 2005 and you’re 12.

I admit I’m mildly surprised.

 

Yes, I understand how he knows I'm twelve. However, I fail to understand what that has to do with any of this.

 

Ah. Gotcha.

Edit: I read it as, like... he was suggesting your mother was being dismissive of your opinion because you’re twelve.

I could be wrong, though.

 

Nah, I think she was being dismissive because the concept of nonbinary genders seems so ridiculous to her.