Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

Airports, though, I've yet to hear anyone gleefully exclaim "I love airports!" so perhaps these things should annoy me.

 

I don't love airports, but I do like them. Even hell busy ones like Heathrow.

 

The pilot of a defective airplane in flight might exclaim "I love airports!"

 

When people mispronounce "ah lahmlahlah".

I mean, what's the point of such a distinctive vocable if people are going to water it down?

 

I love one airport. It's in Gander Newfoundland and it's been almost perfectly preserved since it's opening in 1959. It's absolutely gorgeously retro. I think everyone should see it.

 

One of my colleagues pats my shoulder, or pokes me, when he talks to me. It's a friendly gesture and not hard enough to hurt but it gives me the absolute rage.

 

Kill him.

There's really no other option at this point.

 

To be honest I haven't seen many airports - just JFK and it sucks. At least, to me it does.

You there! Yes, you - I like the way you think.

 

I had a manager once who would say "for all intensive purposes." Those were dark days.

 

I worked with a guy who kept talking about getting his cat "spayded." I wish I knew a way to correct people without being an arsehole.

 

"You had your cat murdered with a spade?! You monster!"

 

Anonymous passive-aggression is one way to handle it. In this case, you'd leave a note like this:

Correct: Yesterday, my cat was spayed to ensure she doesn't reproduce.
Incorrect: Yesterday my dang-ole cat done got spayded so she ain't go around fuckin' all them neighborhood cat dicks.

 

My dad does that kind of thing all the time. It's maddening.

"Here's some feed for thought."
"It's a mute point."
"I'm not an astrologer, so I don't know anything about space."

 

You'd think after 28 years of my living here, I'd be used to our wonky weather what with it as hot/warm as it was back in July in the waning days of September... yet I'm not. I'm not at all.

September is supposed to not feel like an elongated summer! >:[

 

If someone rides the elevator at the same time with me. Even more annoying, if there are several someones. I tend to take the stairs, not because I'm so sporty and health-conscious, but because I don't want to enter the moving metal box of awkwardness with random people.

When people help you to park. I mean, it's actually nice and helpful when trying to fit into a tight spot in a packed parking hall, for example, but God damn, I want to prove the world I can do it!

 

When a car stops for me so I can cross the street. Yeah, it's a nice gesture but now I have to do this awkward walk-jog so I don't seem ungrateful.

 

Last time time I stayed in a hotel, my keycard randomly stopped working and I had to go back down to the lobby to get a new one. Somehow the same guy was on the elevator with me on the first ride up to my room, the one down to the lobby, and the one back up to my room with new key in tow. It was ... the worst experience of my life [/hyperbole].

 

This. All the time. Look, I know I have the right of way. But it's so much easier for everyone if you just go.

 

Ever notice how the people that shop at K-mart look like their shopping for their own funeral? that annoys me and Ihave no idea why.

 

Few reports ever hit the news when other breeds attack people. Why? Because so many people believe - with nothing but anecdotal evidence for support - pit bulls are by nature vicious, so an attack by one is good for feeding the mass hysteria. This practice in the "news" media is called making money.

And changing parameters seems so - 45 ish. As a breed Pit Bulls are no more vicious or prone to attacking humans than Golden Retrievers. I've owned both so speak from experience.

 

Especially when you travel to different jurisdictions. In Australia, crosswalks / zebra zones seem to have the full majesty and power of The Law behind them. In Japan, they're legally the same as stop signs, and practically the same as assisted suicide.