Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

Again, he should annoy you.

Carry on.

 

I was awakened at 6:10 am by assault with a deadly news announcer, talking loudly at about 900 WPM.
What is wrong with those people? Do they think the world will end before they can fire all their words off at me? I mean, it's not as if they won't be telling me the very same news eight more times before the day is out - maybe even before breakfast!
Customer service people do it too, on the phone.
Who do they think can hear that fast?

 

Now imagine you live in a Spanish-speaking land where the normal speaking pace is best described as "blisteringly fast", so when Juanito Servicio al Cliente deploys his little customer service spiel at you, the best answer you can think of is, "Um, yes... Sir Isaac Newton would like to speak to you about what just came out of your mouth, how it came out of your mouth, and why it makes a lie of several of his laws."

 

Caffeine. I dared to enjoy some yesterday with my pizza, and subsequently lay wide awake for 2 hours thinking of places to go with @Cave Troll when in England.

Then for good measure, my left eye lid decided to swell for no apparent reason, thus giving me another reason to be awake.

 

If I don't have it in the morning, by 10:00 am, this thing happens.

 

Dude, see a doctor!

 

You’ve never had an ocular migraine?

 

I guess not. Is it similar to a drop of water on your camera lens? Only more painful?

 

But I am having a foodgasm!

If you hear noise like two drunken whales singing karaoke in a biker bar, it's just me finishing my chorizo-blue cheese omelette with some tasty bread.

 

Actually, no pain at all. Its designation as a migraine is more of a medical appellation than a layman's. It doesn't hurt at all, just messes with your field of view, and unlike what the gif shows, it's not opaque like that. You can see through it... and also not. It's more like bad data processing than a physical obstruction, if that makes sense.

 

That's the condition I have in my left eyestalk, since birth. It's totally CPU related. I see fine, but only process a few vertical lines at a time. It's like walking around with one eyestalk, and a spare.

 

I get that migraine thingie when I spend too much time under fluorescent lights. It's like two or three concentric circles of zigzag light. If I don't go outside for a dose of sunlight, it would develop into a full-blown headache and go on for hours.
At least that's the excuse I used to go for frequent walks when I worked in a subterranean laboratory.
Of course, that was some decades ago. The lighting at the coroner's has probably improved. But I still get the funnel-vision if I spend too long in a hardware store ...
....damn, I miss those

 

When a fluorescent light tube is in full strobe/flicker, that has the power to make me fall down.

 

Flickering light of most kinds makes me feel like a seizure is looming, despite me not being epileptic. Even broken sunlight through fences or trees can create that feeling.
Sunlight generally makes me sneeze, and I can even sneeze by looking at artificial light.
Basically, I think my light-based connections are funky.

 

The sneezing isn't all that rare, apparently. There is an expression in Polish, (iirc) "The sun went up his nose." I've not heard it of artificial light, though.
I have regular sneezing fits after brushing my teeth.

(I'm beginning to perceive a pattern here... What sort of people choose to spend most of their life alone in a room, tapping at keyboards... Hm...)

 

In other funky connections, I start coughing when I clean my right ear. Not the left one though. Just the right.

 

If I have a choice, I avoid doing business with companies that use a .net domain for their websites.

 

I once discovered that a friend hated the movie Alien. Turns out he literally had a seizure near the end, in the strobe-light sequence.

 

That seems a viable reason.

 

If you really wanted to get back at them, you could have weird, drunken, non-heteronormative sex with them and watch them fold themselves over in layers of shame and awkwardness anytime your social circles cross. Not that I'd know from experience...

 

A comedian once explained it thus: "You know all those things you wish women would do? That's what we do."

 

In exhaustive graphic detail (within the letter of the law).

 

Anything that involves canned cheese(s) and various
crackers, may be a bit too far...

 

Yabbut, don't you want to challenge his verbal skill? (Besides, we're all going buggy with boredom.)
I must admit, however, that my annoyance level has subsided 20 points with the change of page. That GIF at the top was really, really annoying.