Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

Old map or scroll props in films and the way they’re nearly always scorched around the edges.

Why? Which prop designer decided that the map / scroll / paper makers of yore spent all their time scorching the edges of these things?

I’m being facetious and of course know it’s supposed to make them look old, but it still doesn’t make sense.

I reckon a prop designer one time was asked to create ancient maps that had been rescued from a house fire, and this look then became standard for any old papers, maps etc.

 

The scrolls from Game of Thrones didn't have the silly, ubiquitous, and (agreed) stupidly scorched edges, but what they did have was laser-straight lines of text sans the little guidelines scribes once used to try to achieve that effect.

They were very clearly run off a computer printer with snazzy parchment paper.

 

Not held to the strictly held to the confines of traditional heterosexual relationships or adhering to traditional gender roles. I'm sure your imagination can fill in the good bits, illicit dairy goods and all.

 

Old maps were made with great care and attention to detail - and generally protected from fire. You could, however, get sun-damage on the two ends of a scroll - which would be the long edges of the unrolled map.

 

I had a look in my email's spam folder, which was fun.
In the space of 19 days, I've had 14 emails saying my PayPal account has been restricted, and to click the link enclosed to fix it.

In other news, I got an email from Santander bank, telling me they suspected an unauthorised transaction had occurred in my account, and that I need to verify my details to lift their limited access to my account. The funny part in this one is that I have never banked with them in my life. I was only ever a customer of one bank, and it wasn't them.

Good to know that everyday cyber crime is as pathetic and annoying as it's ever been. At least it's better than "hot girls in your neighbourhood are looking for someone like you" and the lifetime classic "get viagra at a great price". Small mercies, I guess.

 

But just think of the stockpile you'll have to sell on when the surviving Boomers start dating again!

 

That's spooky! How do the scammers find these things out?
(Actually, I don't get them anymore, either. Maybe they think I've died.)

 

Which is ironic, considering that Nigerian Prince must have all the spare time in the world right now, sitting in his Palace in Lockdown writing emails...

 

Fifty years late with this one, but test questions in high school and college which demanded that you 'show your work'. I may not think just like you do, Mrs. Elliot. I'll get you the correct answer; let me worry about how I stumbled across it.

 

Pull up your pants legs.
We're not here to see if you can acquire or stumble upon correct answers, but to teach you how to work out problems. If you have a different method from the one we covered in class, show me - you'll get credit for that, too.

 

The ones that slay me are the emails warning me that an ap costing $999.99 is about to renew on my iTunes account. As if the price weren't utterly implausible, the emails themselves are always to the tune of (all errors intentional):

Dear Apple Customer Ma'am,

We are taking knot of an soon to be happening renewal. Please to making safe there are being funds enough to cover this costs. If having a problem, please to call +880-555-4432.​

I'm like, really?

I work as a translator. We don't charge that much.

 

Rather, rather ridiculous living with a ‘hot girl’ tho, to be fair. Also the puncture danger.

Some men live with ‘women.’

...I’m only teasing, you old, old predator...you...cheeky.

 

There's a reason most of them do that, along with the reason they mis-spell so much in their emails. It's an old tactic designed to weed out intelligent people who aren't going to fall for the scam.

 

‘...so they say...’

Spotify scam nearly got me...a ten year old account which I ended up deleting...haven’t used it for 9..

That’s my party / entertaining story

 

One day someone is going to write an entire book in Bablefish English.

 

The neighbors mowed my lawn yesterday. I appreciate the gesture, but I just mowed it Friday.

 

So that's why I get so many.

 

When threads get moderated & binned midway through my type...response. On the 'I live on the motorway thread...'

Dear @Hammer, I always wondered who indeed lived in the oil drum, wedged between signposts, the verge and highway, upon that triangle of grass M25/M4 WEST, My @Dear it is you [swoon]. I shall wave next time, hurl a pasty.

Much love,

@mat Artic69/Breaker-breaker

...

I thought that my post was really kind and interesting by me