Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

What were the last four digits of that account number again? I always transpose them

 

Trikes aren't bikes. Quite trying to convince people that they are, and quite getting all butt hurt when said people refuse to buy into your delusions.

 

I'd just as soon not see the whole damned movie in the trailer, thanks very much.

 

"Doctors are suing to stop us from tell you about this lemon & honey life-extension trick! Live to be 300!"

 

"[REDACTED] (local) BILLIONAIRES don't want you to know this ONE simple stock market trick!"

I mean, I live in a decent area, but if there are billionaires here, it ain't even in yen. Weimar reichsmarks maybe...

 

People getting bent out of shape over other people not perfectly understanding their ridiculously esoteric dynamics.

I'm Puerto Rican, which makes me both Latino and also Hispanic, but not Spanish, because that last one means Spain only. Brazilians are Latino, but not Hispanic because that last one means Spanish-speaking.

The only time I actually remember any of this is during this kind of conversation. Under day-to-day circumstances, I fuck up the usage of those words as badly as anyone else, so I can't really blame others for not getting it, now can I?

The United Kingdom, Britain, England, the Realm, the Commonwealth, the "common travel area" or whatever the hell that's called... Look, man, if you change the name depending on whether you do or don't include this little uninhabited island here or that little rocky shoal over there, and then proceed to get bent when others who live elsewhere don't get your little arcane formulas, the answer to "Who is a twat?" sounds one hell of a lot like your own name.

 

Dog walkers on fields who throw a ball for their dog, but in such a way (as in too high) the dog doesn’t see it. So then the owner points pointlessly at the ball failing to understand pointing means nothing to a dog. The dog eventually finds the ball, by scent, and returns it the owner, who throws it again, but too high so that the dog fails to see where it went.

I once watched a guy do this half a dozen times before it occurred to him to throw the ball nearer to the dog’s eye level.

 

Silly one, but people who follow you on Twitter, then unfollow you when you follow back. Really pees me off.

 

People who cook things in the microwave for 6 minutes when it only requires 90 seconds at most, and then complain that it’s gone hard and tastes like cardboard.

 

Isn't that the very definition of instant karma or just plain stupid? It gives me a secret thrill every time I see this playing out. It's fun to watch them try to eat it. Almost as fun is watching someone nuking food for way too short a time and trying to put on a brave face as they suck on an umami-flavoured popsicle. Of course, the latter one is much more Russian roulette when it comes to food poisoning.

 

Any time someone uses "whether" without "or not." Shouldn't bother me. Does.

 

Kids that call pigeons (or ducks) 'chickens'

I don't know why but it drives me nuts XD

 

In that case, I suspect that the numerous Australian chickens will get you going as well.

 

It’s annoying for me, especially, because our mess rooms at work operate on a first-come-first-serve basis, so when the guy ahead of me puts his cup of soup on for 9 minutes I find it necessary to ask him why... which gets me no nearer my turn because they don’t listen.

 

Parents of twins who end every social media post with: #twinning

I'm not on social media so I don't see it happen but the fact that I know it does irks me no end.

 

I was blissfully unaware until now.

 

Revenge is best served cold, as I will demonstrate. Bring along a 2 litre container of water and make sure to get in line first. Then nuke it until it boils. That should take about 15 or so minutes, depending on the microwave. To add insult to injury, then proceed to make the smallest cup of tea you possibly can with the water; you know those little china tea cups. Yes, you know the ones. Be sure to lift the pinkie finger in salute as you take each sip while staring down your nemesis, whose lunch break is now almost over, as they desperately slurp on the food popsicle they haven't had time to heat properly. QED

 

You sadist.

 

Life is far more interesting if you have an active imagination and don't have morals. I'm hoping it helps with writing interesting characters.

 

Will you pay my hospital bill?

 

What's a hospital bill? Where I live, the state pays for this and they're none too happy about the injuring party wasting taxpayers' money. So such troublemakers tend to be given a mandatory holiday in a small room free of charge. They even get their very own security guards and fellow holidaymakers, who are clumsy with the soap in the showers.