Oh dear, that is one that I do. Admittedly I don't go for the full choking-up-phlegm effect or grab my bicycle and string of onions first, but I do give it a bit of a French accent.
Space bubble violators. As an introvert, this is a major no-no! You just don't do that. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't seem to understand this.
When people post online with absolutely terrible grammar, punctuation and spelling. Considering this is a writer's forum, I'm probably preaching to the choir here ... I'm not going to rant and rave at someone if they use a semi-colon where a colon may be better, but Jesus Christ, some people don't even use commas. Perhaps I have a different philosophy where posting online is concerned, but in my opinion, if your post isn't important enough to warrant even a quick proof read or even the inclusion of basic language elements, perhaps you should consider whether it is important enough for others to waste their time reading. And yes, as a post criticising the language skills of others, I do expect everyone to pick over it with a fine-toothed comb to make sure I'm not being a hypocrite.
Yes; there are a lot of people who need to make more greater effort to ensure there grammaticals and language is correct.
A thing that is both inexplicable and annoys me: Reading well-written, long blog posts (or articles, even some Wikipedia pages, you name it) in English makes my gums itch. (Fear not, I had this thing even before I quit meat. ) And it never ends. And about the croissants: here everyone says KROY-SSAHNT.
These lyrics sung by Sophie Ellis-Bexter, which were playing in my gym despite the song being rather old and distinctly average :- "There has been a murder on the dance floor, but you had better not kill the groove, DJ, because I am going to burn this God dam house right down." What the hell is she prattling on about? And to think her mother was a wholesome Blue Peter presenter.
Fuzzy timestamps. Those diverse ways of saying when the message was posted or file saved, like "27 minutes ago", "yesterday" or "a year ago" instead of the actual date and time. WHY? Why dare they suggest I don't need more precise and unified information? I mean, it's fine with me if you can click somewhere and get the date and time in a standard format, like it's here on the forum. But that isn't always the case and searching for it isn't fun.
I'm guessing in the same way as "lieutenant" starts "left...". But I can't imagine which simple Anglo-saxon syllable would fit.
And sex with hot vampires. That's one thing the Romatics also gave us. And calling for popular revolutions, and sleeping with duke's wifes, then sword fighting with him.
Most people where I'm from (Florida) just say cra-sant no accent, but she says it with a big French accent. It was hard to type...
My favourite "live performance" was Jimi Hendrix on Blue Peter..."And here he is to play his latest hit". He got about a dozen bars in, then said "I'm bored with playing this crap...let's do a tribute to Cream" (Cream had just broken up) and launched into "Sunshine of your love". He only got about a dozen bars in again before some ignorant rule-book wielding techie pulled the plug, and the look on Hendrix' face as it all went very quiet...
Those adverts where women have orgasms over zero fat low calorie yogurts *gag* There's one in particular where woman with yogurt is opposite woman with actual cheesecake, and it's the women with cheesecake that becomes envious?! I repeat, *gag*
Oooo, one more. American's obsession with Chik-fil-a. I swear, ever time I go there, the line is so long it's out of the parking lot. The place is good, but I'll be damned if it's THAT good.
Need to be careful here. If I said "We don't even have Chick-Fil-A's here, you insensitive clod!", would you grok the reference?
Nah. lol I lived in Illinois m whole life. We had one Chik-fil-a (in the mall) that I only ate at when I was at that mall. So I never really knew it. Then I moved to Virginia, and holy crap. Chik-fil-a on every corner, lines out the wazoo.
I find that with Nandos round here. Always a huuuge queue for a table, and I have friends that go nuts over it. It's just chicken, right?
MMM Chick-Fil-A waffle fries. Things that annoy me- Chick-Fil-A being closed on Sunday, invariably the only time I ever want to go.