We've all been at boring jobs, classes and conversations. Every once and a while I think each of us has just had the urge to say something that is completely nonsensical or inappropriate. Sometimes we even say it out loud. So what have you said or heard that just didn't sound quite appropriate? My contributions: In class while introducing myself: "When I left University, I had no idea what I wanted to do. So I became a teacher." At McDonalds while my manager was listening on the headset: Customer: I want a big mac with extra diarrhea sauce. Me: Ok, one big mac, extra mac sauce. Customer: No! I said extra diarrhea sauce. Me: Right. Extra mac sauce. This went on for about half a minute before the manager told them to leave. This one happened to me. Student: When I complete university I want to marry a foreigner and have many beautiful babies with him. (As the only foreigner there, most eyes turned to me and there were a lot of smiles.) This wasn't anything I said but I think it counts. Standing in the front of the class waiting for the next period, about 10 students took out camera phones and started snapping pictures. I don't think they expected me to start making faces at them. Or to hide behind the desk at one point (the number of cameras were freaking me out). Ok what are some of yours?
Well Dom the thing is back in school I was known for saying things that were nonsensical or not quite appropriate. I even do it now. lol One of the best was back in high school 4th year the year I repeated, so I was 17. It was freezing and I had been out in the rain having a smoke. Siren went and it was time for english and I was sitting there in class and my techer glared at me strangely cause I was starring out the window the whole lesson and we were about 40 mins into the class. He asked what I was looking at. I looked at him confused and then gave a innocent smile as always. "I really have no idea sir but I could really use a smoke right about now." With my headmaster when I was 13. I was taken to the head office for kicking a guy in a not so nice area. He said "Ms ..... can you please explain your actions." Me "I could but then I'd have to kill you." I got detention for a week. oops! He forgot about what I did, aand eventually laughed over what I said, but yeah he gave me detention hehehe. I always come out with random things in coversation all the time. People get so confused and annoyed at me for it. I get asked a question and if I don't know the answer I will literally just pipe up and say "I like coffee hey." then walk away like nothing ever happened. I do it all the time. So random stuff that makes no sense what so ever. I am just really good (I think that these count. I'll post some others later)
"Wow, Will looks really black in that photo!" - Whilst looking through a year book with my english class. "Haha, wow, there's alot of emos out today.. oh wait.." - Whilst walking past a church in the city where a funeral procession was being held. Human bio teacher: Fungal infections include, tinea, thrush, ringworm Has anyone ever had ring worms? Shan: Sir, who would openly admit that, really? Me: Oh, I've had ringworms before ... yeah used to play with stray dogs when I was a little kid Shan: Eoz! Class: What did she say? Shan: She said she used to play with stray dogs .. Me: When I was a little kid! I thought they were cute.. harmless.. until I got ringworms Class: errrr... Human bio teacher: That's enough!
Friend (female): I have a hole in my sock... *I look at said sock, and see a very large hole* Me: There's more hole than sock there... You have a sock in your hole. Friend: .... (Yeah, not my finest hour )
But wasn't the customer the one who was being arrogant? I don't understand why your manager asked you to leave.
Right, I missed the word them in "this went on for about half a minute before the manager told them to leave.." :redface:
Thanks for helping to clear that up Banzai. And the sock comment, nice foot in the mouth moment. More contributions. Student: What do you want to do after you leave here? Me: Become a famous writer, and take over the world. (Ok, it's an obvious answer, but the way their eyes bugged out when they heard it was hilarious.) Interview for McDonalds. Manager: So why do you want to work for us. Me: Frankly, I need money. (I was hired practically on the spot for honesty.)
First day at college Tutor: Ok, as an ice breaker, we're going to go around the room, and all introduce ourselves. Let's start with you. *points at me* Me: Erm...okay... My name is [insert name here], but you can all call me "Your Imperial Majesty". What a great way to meet a roomful of new people
well,, as far i am i concerned, i do not say things i shouldn't like in those circumstances, it is something i make sure of. the worst things i say i swhen i don't know who "Nassa" is or someone daft like that. i tend to say things i regrett when arguing with people sometimes though, even if i mean them, i shouldn't say it sometimes. the funniest thing i heard though was a mate of mine went into MacDonalds and asked "How much is your £1.49 meal?" i was howling
I used to have so much fun with people like that. Playing the straight man, or the sarcastic jerk were my specialty.
Actually at the doctors yesterday this young girl came in and told me that she had scabbies. Her headmaster sent her home so she could go to the doctors and before she left she poked the headmaster in the chest and said "SCABBIES take that ya snooty old hag!" then walked out laughing. Was a good laugh. My son was up town with me once and he saw a teenager wearing very little and he looked her up and down then went "mmm num num!" I was very embarressed lol For a job interview for a position in a restuarant. I was asked "So have you always wanted to work in this industry?" I replied. "Nah just the other week I wanted to be an exotic dancer in the middle of the desert but the job was taken by a lizard. Bit rude if you ask me." I got the job too lol
haha,, they are funny Torana. and kiddies say the stupidist things. my cousin asked some fat lady when the baby was due. then when the lady give her a funny look she said "Ow,, it must be triplets" i was sooo embarressed!! when i was little i crawled up behind my granddad when he was sitting on the chair and started crying "Granddad! the wind had blew your hair away!"
lol I did that once, although I said "Poppup please don't blow my hair away like you did to yours." I walked past and he...well I am sure you get the picture!!! LOL
You have to watch what you say around kids, you never know when something you say will come back and bite you. There was a commercial a while ago that was just so true to life: A man brings his boss home for dinner to meet his family. The boy tugs on his dad's arm with the boss standing right in fromt of him and says, "Daddy, you're wrong - his nose isn't brown at all!"
hahaa,, i love kids. they always say the stupidist things. i used to be like that though when i was little. my mam and dad would have a laugh about my nana and i would go and tell her. like one year they said they'd make her the star of the crimbo tree and stick it up her jackson. so i went and told her i was a cute kid though.
hahaa,, inoo,, we would have to kill them otheriwse i think. i saw this gawjuss lass yesturday, little blonde curls and everything,, reminded me of . . . well, me. nah, i had blonde curls until i was about three and i always squinted in my left eye for some reason. i'll try and find some piccies for ya'll to see the gawjuss me. you'll think other kids were ugly in comparision.
My brother when he was about 5 or 6 was waiting for the bus with the other kids from the apartment. There were reports of a rape the night before, and some of the kids had heard about it. So my brother walked up to my Mom who was talking with the other mothers and said, "Mom whats rape?" My Mom was shocked, and quickly said, "I'll tell you tonight." So my brother scowled and said loudly, "Are you going to be like the other kids stupid mothers and not tell me?" The other mothers didn't like that.
When that cop pulled me over last night (for going 58 mph in a 55 mph zone), I probably shouldn't have said, "You must be having a really slow night."
I said to a guy I had just met 'I've heard of a gay called *** and apprently he is a wanker, stay away from him!' Guess what happond next The guy I was talking to was the person in question.
you think that's bad, any time i suggest to someone that i want to write i get greeted by a crowd of laughter. i have just resigned to telling people i don't have the faintest idea what i want to do. an example teacher: what university would you want to go to then? me: yes,, hopefully Durham teacher: really?! you have to be smart to go there you know. that was mean.
