Things you probably shouldn't have said

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Domoviye, Oct 26, 2007.

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  1. Eoz Eanj

    Eoz Eanj Contributor Contributor

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    lewl

    Similar thing happened to my friend Naomi

    This sub. teacher was like so, 'what do you want to do after year 12?' and she replied, 'I want to be a Vet Nurse' and his reply was, 'Haha, you don't need much brain to do that do you!'

    It was mean.. but somewhat funny, Naomi laughed.

    As for things-you-shoudn't-have-said well I didn't say this my human bio teacher did...

    [Human bio teacher explains the development of the first vaccines]

    Teacher: And it was during that period of time when the first vaccines were developed. One man, by the name of Edward Jenner discovered a vaccine again small cocks.. ahem.. I mean, small pox..

    *class erupts into laughter*
     
  2. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    'Merry Cristmas!' To my friend who is a Javohva's Witness.
     
  3. dushechka

    dushechka New Member

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    I don't have many embarrassing things to add, though one of my friends once said:

    [while talking on the phone]"How may I do you?"

    'Twas very funny, but I guess you had to be there.
     
  4. Eoz Eanj

    Eoz Eanj Contributor Contributor

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    ^

    Lol.
     
  5. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    My son had a car wreck last year in which he had entered the intersection without making sure no one was coming. Unfortunately, he was wearing a humorous tee shirt, "5 Things Not To Say When You Are Pulled Over". For example, one of the things not to say was "I smell bacon!"

    The officer was acting distinctly unsympathetic toward him.
     
  6. secularzarathustra

    secularzarathustra New Member

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    That's hilarious!
     
  7. yfc54

    yfc54 New Member

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    There was a customer I used to call on every couple of months. I walked into the shop one day and noticed that she was looking a lot slimmer than she was on my previous visit so I asked her what diet she'd been on to which she replied

    "The get out of bed one morning only to find out that your husband has run off with your best friend diet"

    Oooops:redface:
     
  8. Raven

    Raven Banned

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    Once while on duty in Sennybridge wales on exercise I spotted a scruffy soldier covered in muck.

    I was a corpral so when the driver stopped at him I stepped off the jeep and asked him to stand straight then bollocked him for been a mile out from the barracks without my lefttennants permission. I then told him his uniform was filthy and should be better looked after since parade was in an hour And finally I asked him his name.

    To which he replied
    "Leftennant Rowan get on the floor and give me 30 then jog back to base you little sh!t and you ever confuse me again for a grunt I'll have you guarding on every single rainy night and been in wales that should be every over night"

    Oooops
    I never made that mistake again ever.
     
  9. Banzai

    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Ha! That is amusing, Raven :p
     
  10. crs

    crs Active Member

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    I was at group interview at chapters. One of the managers was explaining "Tasking." When you're on the floor helping a customer out, but see a another customer looking for assistance. He told us we should give the first customer a "task," like reading a book sleeve or something, while we assist the another customer.
    He asked us for other things we might do to occupy a customer, I said "throw a ball."
     
  11. Domoviye

    Domoviye New Member

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    Raven that was awesome.
    crs, you are a credit to menial employees everywhere.

    A friend of mine was working as a cashier at a big bulk store. A customer came up with a huge frying pan, so he lifted it up, pretended to swing it, and said casually, "You could kill someone with this."
    The customer replied, "Yes, my Grandmother killed an intruder with it last year."

    He never made that joke again.
     
  12. Bick

    Bick New Member

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    My dad and I were flying from Detroit to St. Louis. I had on my usual dress clothes (and I hat which apparently made me look older.) We sat across the two flight attendants, and we began to chat.
    One of the flight attendants "Do you both work for the airlines?" (note. I was 15 at this time.)
    Dad: "No, just me."
    Flight attendant: "Ah, how long have you two been a couple?"

    I do not look that old and he does not look that younge. :eek:
     
  13. wordwizard

    wordwizard New Member

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    hahahaha ^ That must have been akward.
     
  14. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Southwest Airlines, perchance? They seem to be developing a habit of foot-in-mouth, if you look at all the news stories involving them...
     
  15. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    When I was admitted into hospital during my pregnancy as I went into labour 14 weeks early the doctor who was sending me via the RFD service asked if I wanted my husband to go with me.....
    I replied..."Erm...I'm not married and this is my father!" the doctor went silent and didn't speak a word for 10 minutes. Not kewl!
     
  16. SeaBreeze

    SeaBreeze Banned

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    ROFLMAO! hahhahaa. to alll.... BUGGER! hahhahaa...


    POOR RAVEN! that must of made you feel rather... er... crappy!

    And my thing that I shouldn't of said? Probably every word that comes out of my mouth!
     
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  17. Heather Louise

    Heather Louise Contributor Contributor

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    hahaa,, nice, or funny stories everyone. and that must have been uncomfertable Raven. :S and Bick, don't worry,, i have been asked similar things before a few times. yet i still can't get served for booze. :(
     
  18. Banzai

    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    :eek: You shouldn't be trying!

    (Though I could at fourteen :p)
     
  19. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    I could a 15 but not once I turned 18. Go figure!

    Now I can cuse I have ID but yeah ><
     
  20. Banzai

    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Hehe, my friend who was over 18, and who had ID, was refused by some crazy lady at Waitrose, because she wasn't 21. Go figure :rolleyes:
     
  21. Heather Louise

    Heather Louise Contributor Contributor

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    hahaa. and i haven't actually tried to be honest with ya, i am just assuming that they would collapse in a fit of giggle if i asked. my mate though, he has a full beard right (even though he's 14) and he gets served. you don't expect a 14 year old to have a beard i guess. :p
     
  22. Banzai

    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    I think that was how I did it...
     
  23. Domoviye

    Domoviye New Member

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    A middle age woman was asked for id when she tried to buy cigarettes. It was obvious she was old enough, so the clerk, red faced, apologized and explained he had to card everyone.
    The woman smiled and thanked him, saying it was the first time she'd been carded in years and was thrilled.
     
  24. Heather Louise

    Heather Louise Contributor Contributor

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    hahaa.

    one of the worst things i have said that i shouldn't have was to my mam the other week. she was having a go and we were argueing and as a punishment she shouted.

    Mam: Don't think you'll be using any of my things again, no hairdryer or anything!
    Me: yea,, whatever.
    long pause
    Mam: and that includes the straighteners!
    Me: no s**t Sherlock.

    i got in trouble for that one but it was soo funny i don't care. :p :D
     
  25. Montag

    Montag New Member

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    At least it was kind of a compliment to your father on his age...
     

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