Ok, so I just recently had an idea for a short story. It starts with introducing an unknown protagonist, whose name I would like to keep unspecified. He is an ordinary 17 year old living in London, England. There isn't anything really unique about him. One night he meets his perfect girl. I describe her as a red-headed girl of 16, deep gray eyes, and a distinguishing wooden stretch-bracelet with the letters C.R. engraved in each segment. She is immaculate. They get along well, she laughs at all of his jokes, and she is very kind and sincere. The only problem is that he met her in a dream. When he awoke, he knew that he has fallen in love with her. He thought about her every day, waiting for the night so he could have a chance to see his lover again. After a couple days, the dream stopped recurring, and he starts to become more and more depressed as each day goes by. For months he tried to sleep whenever he could, just hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but to no avail. He started to look into lucid dreaming, and began to practice becoming conscious in his dreams. After a while, he could constantly have lucid dreams. For a week or so, he dreamt that they went on dates, ranging from Paris, to sailing the Dardanelles. There was a price to being conscious during all of this, though. He knew it was all a dream. So one night when he and his loved one were on a balcony overlooking Rome, he promised her a way for them to be together forever. He awoke the next morning happier than he has ever been in 6 months. The people around him noticed he was much happier now, thinking he overcame his depression. Later in the day, he walked to the Barbican Estate, and climbed all the way to the top of Shakespeare Tower. He closed his eyes, and let his promise guide him to the floor. All the people rushed to see what had happened, hoping he was alright. The first on the scene was a young girl of 16, who had deep gray eyes, red hair, and a peculiar wooden bracelet with the initials C.R. engraved in each segment. Thats basically the summary of the story. I know it's not perfect, and I didn't want to make the summary too long. Constructive criticism, ways to improve, and thoughts on it are greatly appreciated. Thank you!
I think it's a really nice idea, however you don't need to ask others for confirmation that it is a good story, especially if it's a short story as you can just write it and get it critiqued. Only you can know exactly what sort of story you're going for at the moment, so it would be best to write it up and see if you think of any adjustments to the plot as you go - if you can't think of anything, that may be because the plot is perfect as it is and anything new will just spoil it, or if there is something dreadfully wrong with it someone will pick up on it after reading the draft...but nobody will pick up on any plot holes in a brief summary.
Thanks, hawwybb! That sounds like an excellent idea, I have no clue why I didn't think of that myself lol
I agree, very cool. Very tragic, but you just gave away the twist of your story in the summary you provided. You gave everything away, but you may have been wanting to print this somewhere else anyway. Great idea and great plot. I like the initial premise of having met the love of his life in a dream and, as such, becoming increasingly drawn to living them out. Also, is your name, Oscillate Wildly, a play on Oscar Wilde?
I love the concept. My only suggestion would be to make the narrator more memorable, since you said there isn't really anything unique about him. It would help the readers connect to the story more.
How should I make the narrator more memorable? Should I have it seem like he is possibly an actual character witnessing the protagonists demise? Or something else? ---------- Post added at 08:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 PM ---------- I gave away the whole story because I wanted other people to give input on the story as a whole so I could see if the story seems like a sound idea. And yes, my name is a play on for Oscar Wilde, but it's also an instrumental from my favorite band The Smiths
