1. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Trying to add a twist to a horror piece

    Discussion in 'Horror' started by Torana, Oct 14, 2007.

    I have been working on a short story for a while now and it isn't really as much of a horror story as I had hoped it would turn out to be. In fact it is a stereotypical piece about a failed relationship so to speak.

    Well I had an idea spring to mind that I would appreciate some thought on.

    I was thinking of re-writing the piece altogether and having it that one of the children is some how controlling the mother to kill the father due to n incident that has happened that the child is too afraid to tell his/her mother about.

    So hence the child would somehow have control over the mother's mind and use the mother to get even with his/her father for the incident and it ends up with the mother brutally murdering her husband.

    The piece I am talking about is my story Peeling The Orange. So can I have some thoughts on this idea. Would it be worth giving a go? Do you think that this would give the story the twist that it requires or should I try to come up with some other idea for a twist to add more of a horror theme to this piece?

    Thank you kindly
    Torana :)
     
  2. Scavenger

    Scavenger New Member

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    Hm....I like it.

    I'm going to take a chance and assume you've read the Harry Potter books. If you haven't, for shame, go read them they are amazing.

    Anyway (And I'll keep this generic so I don't ruin it for you), there's this one character who everyone thought was innocent, but it turned out that he betrayed all his friends and framed someone else for it, even though he always came off as being a complete idiot and no one ever suspected him.

    Point is, I read a fanfiction once where this character spent all his time pretending to be an idiot but he was actually messing with the emotions of the people around them, and he did it so cleverly that they thought they honestly felt what he made them feel, and it was really cool.

    I think if you can do something like that, and have this kid playing of the mother's love for him/her, and really go for the emotional side of it, you've got an amazing piece. You have an opportunity here for all sorts of subtlety and humor, as well as the necessary drama.

    So I would completely go for it. And don't worry about it being horror so much as...more of a psychological thriller. You can put the gore in, but I'd aim for "Saw" instead of..."Texas Chainaw Massacre" or just a random slasher movie.

    Cheers, and I look forward to reading this!
     
  3. Domoviye

    Domoviye New Member

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    This could be an interesting idea.
    To keep it real, have the child purposefully hurt himself fairly badly, throw himself down some stairs or something similar. Then while he's bleeding he goes to his mother and says that Dad it.
    Go from there.
     
  4. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Scavenger I haven't actually read the Harry Potter books. Although I have many people tell me that I should read them.
    Well I really appreciate you taking time to read over this and offer your thoughts. I will see what I can come up with from that, it really does help in a big way.

    Dom thank you for the reply, it is appreciated. I think that the child hurting him/herself would definately work for what I have in mind. Thanks it really helps me out a lot.

    THank you both for replying and offerring your thoughts and help on this. Much appreciated.

    Torana :)
     
  5. Funny Bunny

    Funny Bunny New Member

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    I refuse to read HP. I saw the first movie. It was so stupid I decided not to waste any more money.
     
  6. Endeavour

    Endeavour New Member

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    I think what will re-enforce a horror theme to your piece as well, is how the killings are committed. Albeit the fact they don't have to be unnatural as such, they should however be considered carefully, poised on the edge of insanity.
     
  7. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    HP isn't that bad I guess. It just depends on what you require in the aspect of research. I have watched all the movies as my ex demanded that I buy them for him. I found that back then I was into more of the fantasy genre and it was good to see the scenery as it helped me to describe the scenes in my piece a lot more.

    Endeavour thank you kindly. I will see what I can do with creating a murderous scene that will hopefully create the feel of borderline isanity of the killer. I have begun a basic over viewe of this piece just to plot out how the piece is going to work now. Fingers crossed it should turn out ok.

    Thank you
    Torana
     
  8. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I wouldn't see this as a twist so much as a different focus. You could try to conceal the child's role in it until the end, to try to make it more of a surprise, but I think it would heighten the suspense to thread it throughout the story, with just enough information that the reader wonders what will happen next, and whether the mother or others will be victims as well.

    If the reader knows the child is behind it, but no one in the story does, it creates suspense in the form of hidden knowledge partially revealed to the reader. Sir Alfred Hitchcock once explained the art of suspense in that manner. The important thing is to give the reader more knowledge than the characters, but not so much that the reader knows what the outcome will be.
     
  9. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Thank you Cogito, I really appreciate your input into this. I will definately see if I can do it that way. I am still getting back into the swing of story writing so hopefuly I can pull it off and hopefully it isn't a huge flop.
     
  10. Master Attano

    Master Attano Active Member

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    I have to say I like Scavanger's idea, the manipulation part would be interesting.
     

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