Albert nodded thoughtfully and took a pair of cigarettes from inside his jacket. Leaning over to Hypno-boy he offered him one. "Just take it," he said, sticking the other in his mouth.
"Are you smoking inside?" Abbadon asked. "Disgusting habit. Especially with this rubbish." He took a cigar out of his jacket pocket. Cuban. Then he lit it, and sent a cloud of smoke right into Stinger's face. "Now this is what you call class," he said.
"Excuse me, citizen. Have you seen this insect?" Arwen asked. She was standing on a street corner, waving a very elaborate drawing of Stinger. It was so good, it looked like a photograph. If this hero thing didn't work out, she could always get a job drawing portraits in the park. This particular masterpiece was scrawled on the back of greasy pizza box. "Ummm... no?" a passing businessman said and walked a wiiiiide half-circle around her as he continued on his way. "Very well." Arwen waved at a young couple approaching. "Excuse me, citizens. Have you seen this-" "We don't have any money. Just leave us alone," the young man said and hooked his girlfriend's arm and tugged her the other way, away from the weird lady with the bug picture. "Very well. Excuse me, citizen!" Arwen said, hailing a man riding a bicycle on the other side of the street. He began to pedal double time, but she cut across the traffic --nearly taking out a minvan along the way-- and caught up to him. "Good day, sir. Have you seen this insectoidal bipedal creature?" The man screeched to a stop. "What do you want? No, I haven't seen this... this thing. What the hell is that anyway?" "This is my..." Arwen paused as the processors in her brain began to click and fizzle. What was he to her? Employer? Partner? Citizen? Frankly, she had no idea if Stinger was a 'citizen' or not. Probably not. "This is my... ... ... ... ... father?" The man on the bicycle wasn't buying it. "This one is adopted," Arwen added. Why does lying take so much processing power? "Riiiight... Yeah, I seen him," the man said with a grin. "Really? Where? This one would like to know." "Under my shoe!" the man laughed. "That's a fuckin' cockroach. Hahaha." He continued laughing as he got back onto his bike and was about to pedal away, but Arwen grabbed him by the leg and snatched his shoe off. She looked under it. Nope, no Stinger. She yanked his other one off and checked there. Nope. "You have given false information to an officer of the law!" she said. "The proper authorities have been notified. Do not resist. Do not flee the scene." "You took my shoes! How the hell am I gonna flee?" the man said, exasperated. "Good day, citizen." Arwen threw them back at him and stomped off. She'd just have to find Stinger herself.
Hypno-Boy spit the cigarette onto the floor. "I don't smoke," he snapped. Then he stood up and marched down the hall. "I'm going to my room to take a nap. If you freaks are still here when I get up, you're all going to be chickens." "That's a very unique threat," Stinger commented dryly. "We're going to be here til nightfall, so I hope you sleep for..." He looked down at his watch. "Three or four hours." "UGH, WHATEVER!" Hypno-Boy yelled. He slammed his door and they all heard the lock turning. Then Abbadon blew smoke in Stinger's face. The alien just gave a him a long, silent look, his dark red eyes reflecting Abbadon's face back at him. "You annoy me, demon," Stinger growled. There was a knock at the door. "Got it!" Stinger jumped up and returned with a large supreme pizza. "I didn't even have to pay the guy. He screamed and ran away as soon as he saw me. Heh." He laid the pizza on the coffee table and got himself a giant slice. "Oh, I should let Arwen know where we are," he grumbled to himself. He tapped his hi-tech bracelet and sent Arwen their address. 'Get your robot ass over here. -S' Stinger hit Send and stuffed the entire slice of pizza into his gaping maw.
Abbadon chuckled to himself when Hypno-Boy stormed off. Quite a scene. Then the pizza arrived. He forgot how hungry he was. He took a slice, and settled on the couch, pizza in one hand, cigar in the other. If he could only get Scotch. His men entered the apartment, one of them still with blood on his hand. He was wiping it with a handkerchief.
Albert shrugged. The lad needed one, whether he smoked or not. Albert lit his own and leant back, still balancing on the arm. Tantrums didn't faze him. He had seen grown adults have them at the funeral parlour when the coffin's lining was the wrong shade of red. Death is funny like that.
A sleek black town car parked outside of Hypno-Boy's dilapidated apartment. A manservant got out of the driver's side and scurried to the back door. Before he could grab the handle, though, the door swung open and knocked him back. "You took too long," a soft voice hissed from the dark interior of the vehicle. The first thing to come out of the car was a large, lace-rimmed umbrella, then came a lithe female dressed in a flowing black dress. Wavy black hair framed her thin, pale face and her full black-painted lips were turned down in pretty frown. She surveyed her surroundings with a look of disgust and waved a hand in front of her nose. "Is that you?" Black Witch snapped at her manservant. "Oh, I'm wearing a new cologne," he replied nervously. "You don't like it? "It smells like cat piss," Black Witch snapped. The manservant looked offended. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but this cologne is the new fragrance by Justin Beiber." Black Witch blinked. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?" "No, but, I'm just saying..." "Shush, shush, shush," Black Witch cooed. Her whole attitude had changed. She smiled sexily and sauntered up to the manservant, reaching up and grabbing his chin. "Why don't you give me a good-bye kiss, you hunk of a man?" The manservant's eyes widened and he smiled hugely. He gave Black Witch a quick peck on the mouth and then he collapsed in the gutter on the street. "Oh dear, who could've guessed that would happen?" Black Witch said in a dry tone. With that, she turned and glided up the steps of Hypno-Boy's front porch and knocked daintily on his front door. "I know you're in there!" she called out. "I got your email, S! I'm sorry I'm late, but I had this appointment with a handsome warlock and, well, he's dead in a ditch now, but it was certainly fun while it lasted! So are you gonna let me in?"
Abbadon smiled to himself. He recognized that voice. Now things will probably get interesting, from his experience Black Witch always meant a high body count, and some really good tea, but maybe that was just the manservant she had a that time. "Well, well," he said. "Looks like Black Bitch is at our door."
Stinger stood up and went to the door. "Fashionably late as per usual, Black Witch," he commented dryly. "Oh, stop it!" Black Witch said with a flirtatious giggle. She stood up on her tip-toes and kissed Stinger on both sides of his ugly alien head. "So, what have we got here?" she asked as she twitched past Stinger into the filthy apartment. She gleefully kicked up trash with each step, as if she was a little girl playing in the snow. "I have assembled a team of the worst of the worst," Stinger replied. Then he let out a nasty gurgle. "Well, the ones that answered my email, anyway. Feel free to get acquainted with them. Just don't kiss anyone." "I have self-control, you know," Black Witch retorted. "I may not use it that often, but I do have it." "Sure, whatever you say," Stinger teased. "If you need me, I'll be outside hiding the dead body you left in the gutter." With that, the alien exited the apartment. If anyone cared to look out the window, they would see Stinger plucking a few hairs from the dead man's head before throwing him in the back seat of the town car. Then he got in the car and drove it down the street and left it on the corner. Someone would find it later, but they would be long gone by then and no one would be able to connect the murder to them. "So," Black Witch said, shutting her umbrella and throwing it over her shoulder. Instead of falling to the ground, though, it floated gracefully into the corner of the room and leaned against the wall. "Nice to meet you all," she continued, flashing a friendly smile and twiddling her fingers. Then she turned to Abbadon and gave him her pretty frown. "Long time no see, demon. And don't think I didn't hear your little joke when I was outside. You hurt my feelings." Black Witch broke into smile and giggled daintily behind her hand. "Oh, who am I kidding? I've said worse about you behind closed doors." She pulled a black lace fan out of her sleeve and snapped it open to punctuate her sentence, then used it to hide her wicked smile. Stinger returned and look between Abbadon and Black Witch. "Making friends?" he asked her. "Something like that," Black Witch replied coyly.
Abbadon smiled tobhmself when Stinger called him "the worst of the worst". Oh, stop it you, he thought. Then the bug man left, taking some hairs from the corpse outside. Curious. He turned his attention back to the witch when she spoke. "Forgive me, love," he said, bowing and tipping an imaginary hat. "That comment was meant entirely as a compliment. You look lovely, Black Witch. I'd kiss you if I didn't value my ongoing existance. Perhaps when I regain my immortal body, what do you say?" He winked at her. Then the bug man came. "Oh, yes S, we are chumming right up," Abbadon said.
Albert got up from the couch arm, taking his axe with him. He bowed his head to the witch and left the room. God, I want to cleave her head off those shoulders. He faced the two guestrooms and rolled his cigarette around his mouth as if he were playing eeny miny. He chose the one on his left and locked the door. Should be quicker. He wasn't going to share a room with anyone. Again.
The sun set at eight o'clock. Stinger had fallen asleep on the couch, but he had set an alarm on his bracelet and it woke him up. "Okay, okay, time to get going," Stinger growled, hopping to his feet. He did a few stretches and his wings buzzed in excitement. "Time to get the next artifact." Suddenly, Hypno-Boy's door opened at the end of the hall. No one had heard from him since he threw a tantrum and locked himself in his room, but now he reemerged...and he was wearing a skin-tight black-and-white spandex suit with a hypnotic spiral on his chest. He also wore a black mask across his eyes, black gloves, a short black cape, and knee-high black boots. The outfit was obviously too small for him to fit and it looked like if he made any sudden moves it would tear apart at the seams. "What...are...you...wearing?" Stinger asked between bursts of nasty gurgles. "My old Hypno-Boy costume," Hypno-Boy snapped. He grimaced and unceremoniously pulled out a wedgie. "I guess I've grown a bit since last time I wore it." "You're coming with us?" Stinger asked. "Yes, I...I think it will be good for me," Hypno-Boy replied. "I don't get out much and..." "You don't have to explain," Stinger interjected. "Welcome to the team. We could use a man of your talents. Now. We just need to figure out where Ethereal Empress's headquarters are. Then we break in, search the place, and find the second artifact." "Are you serious?" Hypno-Boy asked dryly. Without waiting for a reply, he walked up to the window and pointed into the sky. The tallest skyscraper in Dark City was clearly visible against the starry heavens. At the top of the skyscraper were two giant E's that glowed bright pink. "It's not like she's trying to hide her lair or anything. She lets everyone know where to find her. Her office is on the top floor." "Well, that's solved," Stinger said, trying to cover up his embarrassment. "Now we just have to get in there." He turned to Black Witch. "It's a good thing you showed up, or else we probably wouldn't have stood a chance of getting in there unnoticed. Do you think you could teleport us inside?"
After hearing the horrible laugh of Stinger, Albert unlocked the guest room and poked his head out. They were preparing to go again. He tutted as he grabbed his axe, his hands already developing wrinkles.
After the introductions with Black Witch Abbadon excused himself, and left the main room. He went for a quick stop at the bathroom to brush his teeth (dental hygiene was as important as black magic when you need to prolong the life of a mortal body). Then he went to sleep. He was in darkness so deep it seemed to have physical presence. A strong smell of sulphur, mixed with blood, filled his nostrils. Screams were heard from a distance, with no recognizable source to them. But, then again, there was no physical source to those cries of agony. In the darkness that he was in, he knew, no physical structure could survive without breaking up, being compressed, trying to take form, an breaking up again. He was home. He moved past the screams, the agony of consciousness unable to take form. There was Cronos there, and Typhoon, Apopis and Leviathan. Creatures that would tear the world apart were under his control. But there was a disturbance there. One of the creatures was struggling against the chaos, taking form. Abbadon rushed there, but he was too late. The creature took form. Suddenly Lucifer was standing before him. The fallen angel grabbed Abbadon an hauled him upwards. Suddenly he was standing in the museum again with Adrianhod in front of him. The goddess smiled, a glowing pentagram appeared on her forehead. She struck at him with her spear, aiming for the heart. Abbadon woke up with a start, his mortal heart pounding against his chest. He rubbed his eyes, got dressed an walked out of the room. Stinger was laughing loudly, Abbadon didn't really case about what. He went to the toilet, brushed his teeth, and went back outside, to where the rest were standing, ready to leave.
System diagnostics in progress… running... running… running… diagnostic complete. Error code 3524: power supply integrity compromised. Charge levels dropping at a rate of 3.75% per hour. Prolonged service is not advised. Recommended action: increase recharge frequency to offset power loss. Secondary recommendation: seek alternative power supply immediately. Arwen sighed… or whatever the robot equivalent of a sigh is. She didn’t like being sick. How was she supposed to fight crime and save the world from evil when her parts kept breaking? First, her GPS got all wonky and now her batteries wouldn’t hold a charge. She managed to get to Stinger’s location the old-fashioned way, using maps and asking for directions. Now she was here and the bug-man was nowhere in sight, so she waited. And waited And waited. While the sun was up, she could use solar energy to keep her batteries maintained. But eventually night fell. Now she was sitting on the doorstep with a car battery in her lap, wired to her charging port via a set of jumper cables, like a sad puppy holding its own leash.
Black Witch nodded to Stinger and swaggered to the middle of the room, switching her shapely hips. "Of course I can get us there," she announced. "But...with all these people...I'll be exhausted out of my mind when we get there. I won't be very useful after that. But I can get us there. Trust and believe." Her eyes turned fully black and her long black hair swirled around her in a ghost wind. "I am the Black Witch," she said in a voice that echoed around the room. She started to turn in a circle while waving her hands and black smoke trailed from her fingers. The smoke circled around everyone, filling the entire room and blocking out all sunlight. "Ah, there's someone outside, that defective robot," Black Witch murmured. "Don't worry. Mama won't leave you behind." The black smoke crept under the front door and wrapped around Arwen, too. And then all the great, voluminous smoke suddenly pulled together into a tight ball and completely vanished. A second later, a ball of smoke exploded in the middle of a wide, spacious office and all the villains were standing there on the highly polished marble-tiled floor. On one side of the room was a long glass desk with a few papers and a thin hot-pink laptop on top and behind it was a ceiling-to-floor window that gave a spectacular view of Dark City. On the other side of the room was large pair of wooden double-doors with two bookcases on each side. A portrait of the Ethereal Empress herself was mounted on one wall with a long white couch underneath. There was also another door that most likely led out into the hall. Black Witch staggered to the couch and collapsed dramatically on top of it. She was panting and wiping the sheen of perspiration from her white forehead. "I'll be here if anyone needs me," she breathed, closing her eyes.
"Good job, Your Witchiness," Stinger told Black Witch, giving her a mock salute. Then turned to everyone else. "Okay, time to search this place..." Before he could finish his sentence, they all heard a ding outside in the hall and the sound of elevator doors sliding open. Then they heard a pair of footsteps coming down the hall, heading straight for them. "Oh, bzzzt!" Stinger cussed. "Everyone hide! Now, now, now!" He ran to the double doors and pulled them open, gesturing for everyone to come inside. The only person who couldn't make it was the Black Witch, who was too exhausted to get up. She merely flopped behind the couch and waved for them to leave her. Stinger nodded and led everyone into what turned out to be a bedroom with a huge four-poster bed, a pink vanity desk, pink walls, and most importantly, a huge walk-in closet. "In here!" Stinger hissed. He flung open the closet door and herded everyone inside, closing the door behind them. Lights blinked on automatically along the ceiling, illuminating the rows and rows of expensive dresses and lingerie and high-heeled shoes. There were also shelves and shelves of luxurious auburn wigs in every style and cut imaginable. "I didn't know the Empress wore wigs," Hypno-Boy whispered with a devilish grin. "I bet the gossip magazines would love to hear about this." Outside in the office, they could hear the door open and two people come inside. "I also need you to push back the meeting with Victoria Secret," Ethereal Empress was saying. "Really?" a male assistant cried in surprise. "Yes, yes, I know they want me to walk in their fashion show," Ethereal Empress replied with a world-weary sigh. "But I need to free up some time to deal with the Sinister Sorcerer. He has been causing all sorts of trouble, summoning a plague of snakes and making it rain blood. I'm going to catch him and take his magic. He doesn't deserve to be a Mystic." "You can do that?" the assistant asked. "Take someone's magic?" "Of course I can," the Empress replied (they could tell just by her voice that she was smiling). "I'm the Ethereal Empress. Now. Go. Send up a veggie pizza in an hour." They heard the assistant leave and the door close. "Finally," the Empress said in a voice that much deeper than the one she had just been using. Suddenly, they heard the bedroom door open and the Ethereal Empress entered. "Get behind the clothes!" Stinger hissed. Half a second later, the Empress opened the closet door. She was stunning. The most beautiful woman they had ever seen. But, as they watched, she stripped off in front of the mirror: her slinky pink dress, her pink stiletto heels, and lastly, her giant auburn wig. She was a he. The Empress was a lean, athletically built man beneath the makeup and the clothes. The only thing he kept on was his pink lace underwear. Finally, he pulled on a pink silk kimono and walked out of the closet, humming to himself. "I bet the gossip magazines would love to know that!" Hypno-Boy whispered. "What should we do?" Stinger growled to his cohorts. He was obviously scared. His antennae twitched and his wings buzzed nonstop. Everyone knew the Ethereal Empress was an exceptionally powerful Mystic. He did not want to face her/him unless it was absolutely necessary.
"I've got an axe." Albert shrugged. All his magic needed direct contact and he was already having trouble trying to keep the axe from catching on a particularly fancy dress. I'm too old for sneaking around. God, do I look old yet? he thought as he realised he hadn't looked in the mirror this morning. He hadn't even been to the loo.
Abbadon hated this current position, begin stuck with all these people in a tin space, four of his men among them. When they entered the bedroom he took the liberty of taking some pictures with his phone, even more pictures when the Ethereal Empress undressed to reveal a man beneath her clothes. When it came to celebrities, discriminating pictures were usually as threatening as kidnap pin the family. He took his phone and pressed 'send'. His men aimed their weapons, handguns this time, at the Empress, or Emperor, he guessed, waiting for his signal.
"This one does not understand," Arwen said, still clutching her car battery while she hid amongst the rows and rows of clothes with the others. "Why is that man impersonating the Ethereal Empress? Identity theft is a crime. He must be apprehended. The real Empress might be in danger." While she spoke, she took a pair of leather leggings from a hook and used them to make a sling, so she could wear her car battery on her hip, like a satchel. "This one will bring the imposter to justice," Arwen said as she stepped out and went after the fake-Empress. "Halt, citizen!" she said in a firm, commanding tone and raised her hand as if signalling traffic to stop. But there was no trafffic, just a kooky guy pretending to be a hero. "Where is she?" Arwen said, grinding a fist into her palm. "Where is the Empress? Speak, villain, or this one shall bring justice to your face."
Damn, thought Abbadon to himself, so much for a stealthy entrance. He gestured to his men, who opened fire at once.
The Ethereal Empress whipped around when Arwen confronted her. "What...how...are you Arwen?" he stuttered in shock and surprise. Then Abbadon's men started firing. Suddenly, Ethereal Empress's bright green eyes began to glow and a bubble of pink energy blossomed around her, bouncing some of the bullets back at Abbadon's men. Two of them were shot, but the Empress did not escape unscathed. One of the bullets had pierced the side of his head and blood began to fall over half of his handsome caramel face. "Demon!" Ethereal Empress shrilled. "I thought your base was in Fortress City? And who are you and you?" He pointed at each of the villains. "And is that a gigantic mutant bug?" "I take offense to that," Stinger growled, raising his gun. "You will all regret coming here tonight," Ethereal Empress hissed. He threw out his arms and the glowing pink force-field expanded and filled the entire room, knocking back each villain and smashing furniture with a wall of power. Suddenly, Empress was levitating six feet off the ground. Waves of pink energy rolled off of him like heat waves. "Here we go," Stinger growled. He fired his gun, but the fizzling green ball deflected back at him and he rolled across the floor. He groaned and tried to sit up, but staggered and fell again. "You came into the wrong house," Ethereal Empress intoned. Then he whooshed backwards through the bedroom doors into the main room. The doors slammed behind him and a chain of pink energy wrapped around the handles. "She...he...whatever...wouldn't be running if he was strong enough to take us all down," Stinger growled. He grabbed the bed post and used it to pull himself up. "Someone break down the door!"
Black Witch peaked over the couch in the main room when she heard gunfire. "Shit just got real," she mumbled to herself. Then she heard Ethereal Empress yelling and, suddenly, a man in a pink silk kimono was flying back into the main room and the double doors slammed behind him. "Is that...the Ethereal Empress?!" Black Witch whispered in shock. She gasped involuntarily, then quickly ducked behind the couch before she could be seen. All she could do was hide. In her weakened state, Black Witch did not stand a chance against a Mystic as powerful as Ethereal Empress. Meanwhile, Ethereal Empress was mustering his considerable power. He was levitating in the middle of the room, arms outstretched, pink energy swirling faster and faster around him. "I call upon my hidden stores of magick!" he was shouting. "I call upon the energy that I have tucked into pocket dimensions for emergencies! Come to me! Ra Un Nefer Neter Ah Sajeb!" Five balls of pink magick appeared around her in the air and the Empress slowly began to absorb them into her blazing hot-pink aura. "Crapola," Black Witch cussed. Then she turned her attention to the bedroom doors. They were locked by a glowing pink chain. She waved her hand and tried to break it with her telekinetic powers, but all she could do was make the chain jump up and down. "Damnit," she cussed again. As pink magick swirled around the room, building momentum, every loose object in the room was getting thrown around in a cyclone. A portrait of the Ethereal Empress was ripped off the wall and behind it was...a secret safe. "SHIT!" Black Witch cussed yet again. "That must be where the artifact is hidden!"
The door was locked shut. Abbadon cursed to himself. His time was too precious to be taken to custody only to have has lawyers bail him out like always. Not to mention an actual escape. They needed to be out of that door. He gestured to his remaining men, and they began to hammer against the door itself, trying to break it. Meanwhile he drew his own gun and fired through the door. It was obvious the Emperor was preparing something, and he needed to see it stopped.
Albert grinned. Now I can use this bad boy, and it won't even degrade. He raised his axe and tilted his head, telling Abbadon's men to get out the way. Then he slammed the axe into the door, it splintering more and more with every strike. "Just- need- to get- it- wider," he said through gritted teeth. His hair flopped down over his eyes, but he carried on, loving every second of it.
