Wayfarer's Tavern

And then they wonder why you're so mad at them and get their feelings hurt, thus worsening the situation and at night, you go to bed crying while the whole family hates you.

 

Ha! Oi family...

Family occasions like that usually consisted of me having my nose in a book, while relatives putted about. Of course, the screeching voice of my mother dearest about why I wasn't talking to these guests would soon follow.

 

Hey everyone!

 

how's it going, Kyle?

 

Haha, mother dearest...I was just talking with someone about the movie Mommy Dearest...ick...No wire hangers!

 

Oh, yes. That's where I took that little reference. Family is like that, can hate them with a burning passion...but we're stuck with them.

 

I actually enjoy a lot of my family members, which is kind of a rarity. The few that I still have left haha; holiday dinners are getting smaller every year. The ones I don't like are the ones who think I'm an idiot for my choices in life...every one. They're all kinds of fun. I like one-sided look-at-my-life lessons. =/

 

Oi, don't you love judgment?

 

Oh it's wonderful, especially when your spending all your money on something only for them to tell you that you'll amount to nothing. It's great. But everyone else is supportive, and I've basically split the family. =/ Don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

 

'Allo?

 

Morning, Link. And any others who happen to be loitering.

 

allo allo

 

Allo, Jon! Allo!!

 

heh heh, good to see you buddy

so...conquer all of europe yet? I expect nothing less from the emperor

edit: ever wonder about an alternate universe where Napolean and the French had ironclad steamships? They could have invaded England...and the states too just for the hell of it

 

I have conquered the world WEEKS ago, Jon! And yeah, I took the States just for teh lulz. XD

Of course, England put up a struggle. She siced her Royal Navy on my battleships and gave them a good pounding. I dealt with her by inticing rebellious English youth to join my army and whittle England from the inside. I even called for Ireland to join me to fight.

Ireland graciously accepted and nested itself under my mighty wing while I bashed England with the other wing.

France rules.

Of course, under Lydia's orders, I have spared Belgium and allowed it to rule as my equal.

EDIT: Good question. You should write that story, mate. I'd read it!

I wonder what would be a good period for it? When Jefferson was president or Madison?

 

Ha, I was soooo playing all that through in my head, Link. I could see a movie being made...

 

Well done Emperor. What the hell was the rest of Europe doing? Just watching? I always wondered how I would do against the Coalitions if I was one of his Field Marshalls

Well, apparently an inventor named Denis Papin proposed using steam to propel paddles on a boat in 1704 and tried to sell the idea to the English but nobody would back him!

Napolean wasnt born until 1769! His first battle wasnt even until after the 1780's, when he was just a kid recently graduated from officer school. There definetly could have been steam-powered ironclads back then, if only they had the vision! That would have been soooo awesome!


Uh---Napolean's little reign of terror stretched for a while, Jefferson ran from 1801-1809, around that time Napolean was making all kinds of treaties in the middle east and had won many battles in Europe.

 

@ Jon- Yep, Europe was shocked to see what they thought as puny France striking back in a very vengeful way. Who's laughing now, Stalin?? You thought I'd just go through Poland, did ya? Well, I didn't. I went AROUND Poland and entered through the back door. XD

I have studied that period, especially Bonaparte's campaign in Egypt. However, I think if you/I were to write that hypothetical book, it should be set before the Louisiana Purchase.

 

okay, get started on the first chapter and I'll proofread it

I've become a lazy writer lately, can't even get a submission in for the weekly contests here in the forum anymore

 

You mean that sincerely?

But what about the historical facts? Were there any ironclad steamships back in the 1800s? I think not!

I'll have to put it in big disclaimers at the beginning:

NOTE: What you are about to read is pure, 100% fantasy. This story explores an alternate universe where the ironclads were invented earlier in the time of Napoleon than they are in this time. Now Napoleon seeks to conquer England, and possibly the world. Would he have been able to do that?

 

who cares about historical accuracy?

I'm fairly certain that the first ironclads were in the 1800's in the Civil War, both the Union and Confederates had a working model (Monitor VS Virginia battle-CSS Virginia often incorrectly called the Merrimack, the Merrimack was the hull upon which the ironclad was built)

yeah, I think ironclads in the early 1800's is not too farfetched if we're talking about an alternate reality.

edit: correction, the first ironclad was a French artillery ship called the Lave in the 1850's; there you go, we're getting closer and closer to 1800!

 

By about 50 years, mate. XD Nappy was long dead when that came 'round.

But still, in an alternate universe, it wouldn't matter. However, I would think that if France has ironclad steamships, then there's a good chance everyone else has their own.

 

The development of ironclad naval vessels was far from decisive. It was a different enough technology that there were inevitable problems to be solved. Acccordingly, it was not feasible to begin with massive expenditures on large vessels. Nor could conversion of shipyards to produce them be done in secret.

It would be difficult for France to develop a decisive advantage that way, especially since France was far from dominant as a naval force in those times.

 

what about steam powered tanks in Revolutionary France?

 

What if Genghis Khan had had a phaser?!

Yeah!

That's what I wanna' know.