1. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    What a Great Story This Would Be...BUT it is TRUE

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Lewdog, Nov 8, 2015.

    So I found a new Youtube channel that I enjoy watching and I came a cross a video for the top 10 strangest weapons you never knew existed. Well here is one that you might find pretty interesting...

    The Gay Bomb
    Back in 1994, the United States Air Force (Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, Ohio) reportedly requested 7.5 million dollars to develop a chemical-warfare “Gay Bomb.” The proposed spray would contain pheromones that aimed to overpower enemy combatants with insatiable homosexual urges so they would have sex with each other instead of fighting. Somebody really took the phrase “make love, not war” to heart. Seriously, if you don’t believe me you can read about the theoretical gay-sex-inducing weapon here. As the article suggests, the idea was spawned from the notion that homosexual behavior disrupts military “discipline and morale.” Now (in 1994), however, the military hoped to use gayness to their advantage in inflicting their enemies with it. Unfortunately, the farcical weapon remains all but theoretical.

    http://www.brendanwards.com/gaybomb-dropped/
     
  2. DefinitelyMaybe

    DefinitelyMaybe Contributor Contributor

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    Imagine all the straight laced US military types who would have to be guinea pigs.

    If they had a success with that, maybe they could move on to 'The men who do far more than just stare at goats."
     
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  3. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Somebody please incorporate this into a satire.
     
  4. Lea`Brooks

    Lea`Brooks Contributor Contributor

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    So much for the conspiracy theory that gay people want everyone else to be gay too. Turns out, straight people wanted everyone to be gay!
     
  5. DefinitelyMaybe

    DefinitelyMaybe Contributor Contributor

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    @123456789 - be careful what you ask for.

    Colonel Burt Alderson scribbled his signature on yet another document that he was too bored to read. The phone rang. Please let it be something out of the ordinary.

    He was in luck. Sort-of.

    "Colonel, we've just run the first trial of Preparation H."

    It was Professor Simpson, that guy always gave Colonel Alderson the creeps. But you can't argue with success. Who else would have come up with the idea to hypnotise foreign troops to believe that they were in a Jane Austen novel? Probably only about three people on the planet. And among those three people, only Professor Simpson could have made it work.

    "Preparation H? Explain yourself."

    "A drug to send enemy combatants into a homosexual frenzy on the battlefield. Nobody told me the name was already in use for something else."

    The Colonel dug his pen into a waiting document, drilling right through to the desk where it left a big black mark. "I thought I told you to never, ever, discuss your harebrained schemes with me."

    There was a pause. When Professor Simpson paused, it was definitely time to get worried. "We tried it on twenty marines, all volunteers. Within five minutes there was clear evidence of growing sexual excitement on their EEGs, but they didn't lay a finger on each other."

    Professor Simspon paused again. Two Simpson pauses in the same phone call were enough to make anyone feel like there's a black hole in the pit of their stomach.

    "It appears that the drug is more specific than we thought. The soldiers are in a homosexual frenzy, but not for each other."

    "For whom then?"

    "There appears to be a strong component of attraction to authority. Er, as their commanding officer, that's you, sir."

    The Colonel blanched, but he was made of stern stuff. "I presume that you've applied standard laboratory containment precautions for human experimentation."

    "Of course we did Colonel, but these are marines sir. They're trained to be fighting machines, to think on their feet, to overcome any obstacle."

    "You mean?"

    "They're out, and heading your way Colonel."

    The door to Colonel Alderson's office burst open, and a marine snapped to attention. Snapped to attention in more than one way, Alderson noticed.

    "Permission to speak, SIR."

    "Permission granted."

    "I would like to make long sweet love to you, SIR."

    "Permission denied. Solider, return to the laboratory immediately."

    "I'm not sure I can do that, SIR. My blood is raging with unstoppable lust, SIR." A bead of sweat trickled from the tiny trace of blonde hair on the soldier's head down his buzz-cut temple.

    Three more marines reached the office. "Soliders, return to the laboratory immediately, that is an order." In the time it took Colonel Alderson to bark out the order, the remaining marines arrived. Twenty marines stood to attention, twenty right hands to twenty temples, twenty left arms at their sides, twenty penises testing the strength of army issue trouser fabric.

    Colonel Alderson grabbed in the phone. "Simpson, call the military police."

    "Colonel, there's a problem."

    "I know there's a problem. That's why I'm asking you to call the police.”

    "No, another problem. If the men don't achieve sexual climax within the next five minutes, the continual drain of blood to their nether reasons will drain blood from their brains, and it's all over."

    "My God Simpson. You mean ..."

    "You always said that you'd lay down your life for your men, Colonel."

    "I, ah, er, I, …" Colonel Alderson remembered Tim Carlton, who gave his life for Private Burt Alderson in 'Nam.

    "Four minutes thirty seconds Colonel."

    Colonel Alderson played his Officer Oath through his mind. He stood up, unbuckled his belt, and walked towards the marines with his arms opened wide.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2015
  6. Selbbin

    Selbbin I hate you Contributor

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  7. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    The rest of you can be jealous, because @DefinitelyMaybe just made my very exclusive, very small list of WF members whom I think are good writers.
     
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  8. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I thought 123456788 members were on your list! That's where you got your screen name, isn't it?
     
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  9. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    I'm not jealous because I don't want to have to live up to expectations.
     
  10. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    BUT it is TRUE?

    Well having seen the movie,
    The Men Who Stare at Goats, one has to have an open mind about these dalliances. But I'm going to reference Wiki and say, maybe it was proposed but it was never developed.

     
  11. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    Yes, it is true that it was proposed as an idea and was asked to have funding for development. I didn't say it was actually created.
     
  12. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    You're confusing that number with my other list :)
     
  13. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Then we are in agreement. :agreed:
     
  14. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    I figured it was your school debt.
     
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  15. DefinitelyMaybe

    DefinitelyMaybe Contributor Contributor

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    Thank you for your very kind words.

    If this was a normal story for me, I'd be editing it this morning. And I think I'd put in some hints throughout the story that Colonel Alderson wasn't quite as averse to the thought of group sex with twenty marines as he might pretend to be, and I'd make the denouement not just 'happen', at least a bit less. But, this was written as a thread post, so apart from one particularly objectionable typo, I'll leave it :)
     
  16. BrianIff

    BrianIff I'm so piano, a bad punctuator. Contributor

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    If we got bombed today,
    blown to bits in more than one way,
    tell me honestly...
    would you salute me the same?
     
  17. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Great, now everyone's going to try to impress me.
     
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  18. DefinitelyMaybe

    DefinitelyMaybe Contributor Contributor

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  19. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

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    DefinitelyMaybe likes this.
  20. DefinitelyMaybe

    DefinitelyMaybe Contributor Contributor

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    I put it in humour, but wonder if it's on the border.
     

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