That which does not kill us makes us stronger, so definitely not getting any critique is much worse for me than excessively scathing critique.
I'm still in college and I have to write a considerable number scientific papers, especially research proposals. Although I'm only a beginner in my field I invest all the skills and knowledge (not to mention effort) I can into each piece. When I have polished the piece as much as I am capable of I submit it for review to my mentor who frequently points out places where I could make significant improvements. I find, however, that I learn so much more when "the best I have" is thoroughly inspected. I joined this board because I write more personal stuff for myself as well. Although I put everything I have into my work, I want (and need) someone to point out places where I can improve so that the next piece will be that much better. Saying this I would have to agree with others that say that no review hurts more than anything else. This thread has given me some food for thought and will undoubtedly help me write better reviews for others.
I find that it hurts more in the long run if people aren't willing to give you criticism. Praise, although nice, doesn't improve my writing.
I used to always let a friend of mine read my stories. Finally I realized that she just wanted to read them and was just going to praise them without giving any criticism. I told her I wanted her to critique and all she did was say that it was perfect. And as we all know, our writing is never perfect. She was a sycophant. I stopped letting her "help" me. I've learned that any criticism is more than enough to make me happy. If the person is left confused or bored with my writing, I need to know. Even if they're extremely picky; even if they're my friend and it embarrasses me.
That is what I dislike the most about giving my writing to my friends. No matter how good or bad, they'll always hand it back with a generic remark like "Sounds good" or "Interesting". One of the reasons I signed up here was because I know that this is a place where people will truly give me constructive criticism.
Definitely hearing criticism from a stranger. People you know well always have some sort of bias behind their opinions, and will always be somewhat influenced in one direction or another by what they know about you. I prefer to have people I don't know very well give me reviews; they are more likely to be honest. So their criticisms are more have more of an impact (which can be hurtful at times), their praises are much more encouraging, and their ideas more useful. Don't even get me started on having family members review stuff for you; it's beyond unhelpful.
My boyfriend doesn't like what I write.. and that's sooo painfull I mean, not even constructive critisism, he doesnt like reading, and he doesnt like what I write.. everytime he reads something I wrote he'll be all akward about it if I ask for his opinion.. That really hurts.. Taking critcism of someone I don't really know doesn't bother me, I just look at it again and decide weather he/she was correct.
@ Black Radish: I understand it can be painful when you boyfriend cannot or will not read and/or comment on your writing... but I'd like to just say something on that point...(if I can give not-asked-for advice without sounding nosy or rude). My Dad isn't a reader. Never has been. It has always been my Mum that will read my work; or my Aunty, or friends... Dad knows I write, and I'm sure he's proud of me in his special little way. But he's the sort of guy that's far more comfortable with things like engines, trucks, tractors, map-reading, etc etc. He's not up with the whole English, literature, debating and giving speeches... you know what I'm saying? I have had to learn that it's not anything personal, something to hurt my feelings. He just doesn't read my writing because... he doesn't read at all! Much. He's not comfortable with it, it's a different world for him. He's a mechanic and truck driver... I'm a writer... he's comfortable with where he's at... and I'm comfortable with where I'm at. I couldn't stand to be a mechanic or truck driver... he couldn't stand to be a speaker or a writer. I think there's a good chance your BF simply can't comprehend the idea that you want him to read and discuss your writing. It's probably way out of his "comfort zone," does that make sense? Just to take the thread a little off topic. Sorry.
I actually don't show everything I write to my parents -- Just the stuff I feel they can relate to in any way. Usually I'm getting feedback I can really make something out of. What I find is that the opinion of most friends is close to no use at all. The feedbacks roughly fit the following categories: a) I want to know what hair-color your mc has! b) yea, nice. c) just couldn't take my time yet to read it. Sometimes hard to not take it personal
Reviews/ Critiques I haven’t seen it directly mentioned but it does appear that people confuse and editor and a critic. In my most humble opinion I think that the writer should be asking for specific types of feedback when they post something for review. If you just put something out there and say “tell me what you think” you may get many responses but non that really helps you in your quest to improve or polish what you have. If you want some one to proof what you have, basically check for spelling, punctuation, grammar and context flow you may want to post that this is the type of review you would like. Here are just a few questions I (personally) would ask if I was submitting something for review. These are just clarifying examples not a comprehensive list: Does it flow well? Is the story/topic maintaining a consistent direction? Are characters believable? Are descriptions detailed enough or too much? Should there be more supporting or historical information about a character, place or event? What was your favorite character, event, etc...? And Why? What character did you not like or believe and why? What was the best quality about this piece and what made it appealing? What was the worst quality of this piece? Why? How would you correct or improve (specific area in question)? I could go on and on with basic questions but I am sure you would get the point. If you are here solely to get help just for your submissions keep in mind that you may learn more from reviewing someone else’s work that correcting your own. So there is my Opinion and suggestions. I hope this puts the ideas in your head so you can get the kind of specific help you are looking for. V/R BS76
You're presuming that the writer knows what his or her weak areas are. Often, when a writer says, "Please tell me about this and this," it is followed with something like, "I don't want to hear about my spelling or grammar. This is a rough draft." Better to let the critiquer point out what stands out to him or her. My advice to the writer is, "If you don't want to hear about spelling or grammar, fix it before you present it. If you can't, the rest won't matter, because the poor grammar is what stands out." If you know you have a weak area, work on it. But if no one comments on it, perhaps there are other things you need to focus on first. Maybe your perceived problem isn't even really an issue at all. Don't pre-bias the critiquer. You learn more if you open your mind and don't try to orchestrate the critiques.
Cogito I see what you are saying and I agree for the most part, however, if you are not getting anyone to review your work you may want to throw that carrot out there. It doesn't mean that you are only requesting input on that area but I feel that if you are expecting everyone to give you a review that contains enough beef to make a meal you might what to take it and split it into several courses. At the very least wait for the general initial review and then pump them for specifics related to their comments, or if you worked particularly hard on a specific area or part and it was not mentioned it is most likely going to weigh on your thoughts and then shoot the questions. Getting something is almost always better than getting nothing LOL. V/R BS76 We all want to help and be helped but many people seem to do better with some direction even if it is not detailed or entirely specified. Example “look how many people use this forum?? But yes there are going to be many different takes on what to expect and how to get the quality you are looking or hoping for, so take it all in see what applies and adjust accordingly.
I love critisism, constructive or otherwise. The only thing that bugs me is the simple "It's good." At least "This sucks" tells me I've gotta work on it more.
I have only had friends or family read my writing - for some reason I have an easier time with this than a complete stranger. One day I'll work up the nerve to post something here. One of my closest friends just read my latest revision, and she had a lot of helpful feedback when I talked to her in person, but when I actually read her notes, I was thinking - oh OUCH. She herself is not a writer and had a hard time being more sensitive with the written word. That's the main thing - just be sensitive to my feelings, and you can say whatever you want. Well, not whatever you want, but I'll be more open to it
I'm mainly a scientific writer, so I've learn to handle criticism very quickly. It wasn't something which came easy, but the sooner you learn to deal with it, the sooner you're able to understand that its a process which needs to be undertaken. In most of my experiences if a critique is well written and thorough then it doesn't hurt at all, its simply a process which is necessary for the improvement of both your current body of work and your overall improvement as a writer. In saying this, the most hilarious critique I ever experienced was at a large scientific conference in Melbourne, a debate which constantly polarizes my particular field ended in a 60 year old man throwing his papers across the room in disgust at the topic presented, after he had spent the better part of 20 minutes telling us about his thoughts on what made the research which had prompted the discussion invalid, only for a younger man to throw them back at him, knocking him to the ground in turn knocking the elder gentleman out, this is the only situation where a critique should hurt.
I personally hate it when I someone reads my works -- especially professionals. Not only are they looking for grammatical errors, they're judging the works based on creativity and originality. However, I don't think I would have developed into a better writer if it weren't for the fact that I DID receive the direct criticism. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet.
I myself have never had that much of a problem with criticism. True there were times when it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Either way though it never hurt me. The one time it did hurt me though was when one of the people who reviewed my writing grabbed up my work and tore it straight down the middle. They never said why, never gave any hint that they had plans to do so, they merely tore it in two. I have to say that's what hurt the most when it came to reviews. I later found out from that person that the reason they tore it in two was because they found it to be rediculous and quite horrible. I would have rather they said it to my face instead of ripping up almost two years of hard work.
Showing your work to close family and friends, in my opinion, is a no no. Oft times, family and friends, while they mean well, are not qualified to critique. You're more likely to come out of the experience wishing you hadn't shown it to them or throwing away the work. Even some forums use Anon 1, anon 2 and so on so no one will have an inkling who critiqued your work. Of course, I recognize different strokes for different folks and realize you may very well not agree with me.
What hurts the most, the age old question... 1-The destructive-constructive criticism. For example: User1: Story, story, story. User2: Okay, I can't get into this. Grammar and spelling mistakes here. Imagery mistakes here. Character flaws here. Don't get your hopes down, dear! -This mostly hurt because it was 2 AM and I was listening to Attack on a loop. Not here though. It was a different forum. 2- The advertisement... dun dun dun! User3: this is good! i could get into this! Check out my story, called Night of the Lovers. User1: Okay! -checks and comments- Update, update, update (On my old forum we had long-short stories we updated in chapters) User1: Bump? User1: update, update. Three weeks later- User7: No more? Why?
To me critiqing is not hurtful, just so long as it is constructive critiqing. I try to learn from the critiqing I recieve. Although to be honest there are times I try to ignore some comments that I do not like. Especaily, if I am happy with what I wrote and the critiquer is being very nit-picky. But, the majority of time I listen whole heartedly to what ever the critiquers sugest. I think critiquing is best from a stanger just so long as their knowledgable. I belive that if you do not know the person realy well and they are critiqing your work they are more likely to tear your work to shread ( if it desveres that ) than a freind who may be concerend for your feelings.
