When someone writes sentences like these: - I can offer, if I'm available, a helping hand. - It will, however, still benefit you. - He turned left, if I remember correctly, on reaching the first junction. Notice how the sentences are interrupted which I find really annoying. What is this writing style called? Thank you
There's no name for this particular style of writing, but what you have are examples of non-essential clauses being set off by commas.
I think that, rather than non-essential clauses, what you have here are interjections. As in: I think that what you have here are interjections rather than non-essential clauses. And, yes, it would be a very irritating mannerism to be subjected to for any length. But you could use it to characterise one of your, for want of a better word, characters. We all know somebody who, no matter what the situation, will interject some excess verbiage simply, or so it would seem, to increase their word count.
I actually had the misfortune of buying an entire novel written in this manner. I seriously don't think anyone bothered to edit this book. Examples from the book "May Bride" by Suzannah Dunn: "Not that I much cared, emboldened as I was by having an ally, which was how, in a matter of mere days, I'd come to see Katherine." "Not that he'd have minded, probably, if I had, and that was if he'd even noticed, which he almost certainly wouldn't have." "Not that I'd have said it to his face, but, then, I didn't say much at all to him, didn't care, was hopelessly shy of him." "I didn't care what he'd read in the books at Oxford, nor was I properly conscious, then, of how unusual were his ideas about the lives of ordinary people." All taken straight from the book, I kid you not. And this is on every single page with nearly every sentence. Kill me. Kill me now.
I'd suggest the OP doesn't do that. The post I wrote with quotes from the book May Bride - that's in first person narrative, so it is probably a trait of the character. And no, I've stopped reading that book
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the sentences the OP has given us. But used over and over ...urgh! Any sentence structure that repeats itself too often is a mistake, no matter how grammatical it might be. @Mckk's example is hilarious! That is the sort of thing a good edit will catch. Or SHOULD have caught! Yikes! Maybe she just ran a spellchecker over the thing, then rushed to self-publish? ........... Nope. Just checked. It's been 'traditionally published' by Abacus. Lord. Why do we try?
Why indeed lol. Unfortunately it's traditionally published - found it in a bookstore!!! ETA: just found the most hilarious line of dialogue in the book! Here it is! "But, but, but... But then you'd... And what if...? And I'd..." I typed it out word for word, I kid you not. Why did I spend £8 on this!!!?
My point was that it's a technique you could use to identify one character by their use of an irritating way of speaking using constant interjection.
Thank you so much for your replies. My reading comprehension may be lacking which is why I find it difficult to follow sentences written in this manner. Sometimes I have to reread them just to keep up. I don't mind the occasional few, but too many interjections can ruin the experience for me. I'm glad that some of you share my sentiment. Thank you again.
Did you read it at all before purchasing? But hey, it's characterized as masterful, so maybe that's how you do it?
How odd - all the sentences have the same style and the same theme - something to do with not caring/not minding. It's as if her mind grabbed for the same style of sentence when that expression arose. I wonder if I do that?
I hadn't noticed that, but you're right. That's kinda interesting! But I assure you, other sentences were just as bad... lol
Funny, I just had one of these sentences in my book and my son complained until I took it out. But that, [blah blah blah], that made no sense. I thought it added emphasis but he suggested I just get rid of it so I did.
Can I suggest, "continuous interruptus"? I mean... I can offer, "continuous interruptus", if you like?
I don't think so. You've already passed the readership test, in your latest workshop offering. You make odd sentence construction and interjection work—in a fascinating way. It's not authorial voice you use, it's the voice of your character, which is compelling and immediate. Maybe that's the difference.
