Here I am, browsing the forum at 20:33 (GMT), having just spent yet another whole day avoiding my WiP. Why do I (we) do it?? As of yet, my story hasn't hit any roadblocks, which puts that particular excuse to bed. I'm not bored by my story (so far)... and yet day in, day out I actively choose to do other things. Why? What is it that stops me simply opening up my current chapter and writing?? Of course everyone is different, and you'll all have your own legitimate reasons for not writing (work/family commitments/ exhaustion from working, etc etc) but I'm talking about those who have no specific reasons or excuses for not writing. I, for one, just can't put my finger on it. I want to write (or at least I think I do) but I do nothing but plan, constantly telling myself that tomorrow the tv will stay off, I'll force myself to open my current chapter and I'll write. Fact is I hardly ever do. It's almost like there's some kind of fear in there, fear that the words won't come and I'll be thrown into a bout of depression and despair. It's maddening! As a manic depressive I suppose I should cut myself some slack, as I'm sure it's a contributing factor to my not writing. Anyone else just not write for the sake of it?
I know what you mean, i've had entire months of not writing a single word, or other times where i plan to write, but simply finish up staying late watch re-runs on TV. But i never really stopped and thought why i don't write or work on my WIP. interesting thought.
Do you get a lot of self-doubt about your writing? Sometimes when my fingers are hovering over the keyboard I'm thinking "am I just wasting my time here?"
Sometimes I get scared I'm not going to pull off a scene so I avoid it or worse I've gotten through a scene and the next is coming I see the turning point and start to freeze up.
Look, I don't mean to sound harsh but just sit down in a quiet space and write. If you really want to that is. Procrastination is one thing, everyone does it. Those who profess not to are liars. Self doubt is another. Everyone doubts themselves to some extent, we wouldn't be human if we didn't. I'm not about to preach on the subject as I know absolutely what you are all getting at but frankly, deliberating about it on here won't address the problem. Those of you that have piss all else to do, you really have no excuse. Write, just write. Even if it's shite, at least you'll (hopefully) recognise it's shite and do something to rectify the problem next time. I was up at six this morning, went to work, did a shift and was back home at six(ish). I had a shower, had dinner with the missus and kids then disappeared up the stairs and banged out another thousand words. Not much I know but incrementally, it's still an improvement on nothing. I say this as I know what it's like for a day or two to morph into a week or two, then a month. . . I've given myself a concerted kick up the arse recently though and as hard as it can be after a hard day at t'mill, as it were, it is, for us mere aspiring writers, the only way. Vincit qui se vincit.
I can relate. I have nothing but lots of time on my hands. Unfortunately, I'm bombarded with past-experiences in my mind. I used to be a screenwriter and eventually had two short films produced for me. It all manifested because I was determined, persistent and didn't care about anybody else's advice towards how I should be living my life. But I burned myself out for a short amount of time. It was frustrating. The people I dealt with, etc. So, now that I have been contemplating writing a book and restructuring the way I write, I'm a bit caught in the middle and it's hard for me to feel motivated or positive enough to push on and write anything. Yes, it's a little different because it's something else that is contributing to my hesitance, but it's still keeping me from writing. I feel as if it's a waste of time and I don't want to have that feeling.
It can seem a thankless task, that's for sure. The hours of self-enforced isolation, the doubt, the unrelenting doubt. 'Who am I to have such lofty aspirations?' I hear you, but unless you get the damn thing down, you'll arguably hate yourself even more for not trying. That's what I keep telling myself.
One of the things that hold me back is the fear that I'll not be able to pull off a scene I have in my head. I visualize it like I were watching it as a movie, the characters reacting with emotions, moving, thinking, doing. I can see it all clear as day. Yet when I put it down on words, it comes off as complete crap. The other, that I've now recently managed to defeat after 11 years, was the doubt/fear that I'll not be able to make it as an author. Right now I'm only interested in getting a manuscript done. Now I'm wrestling with the guilt/regret of not taking it as seriously as I am now...11 years ago. Or that I used to plaster scenes, chapters, and character discussions all over the internet. That guilt/regret is now the enemy I need to defeat, or if anything else, hold back. I do have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and it's most present in my creativity, so perhaps I should cut myself some slack in this regard. Be gentle and easy on myself, take it one day at a time and try not to listen to the anxiety constantly telling me how miserably hard I'll fail at all of this. How clichéd all my stories are, etc. As you say yourself, they're just excuses. Indeed, they are. The trouble is that our own mind makes those excuses seem so real, so daunting. You're right, if we, individually, never do this, the hate we'll have for ourselves for not at least daring to try would be incalculable. I would much rather write the most ungodly, cliché fantasy story of all time that would make even Paolini grow white in terror than never write a single thing at all.
Do what I do. I admit that I'm procrastinating, then I give myself 10 minutes of doing the procrastinating. Once that time is up, I go to the keyboard, open the file and stare at the blank page. Don't open any browser. Don't even take your phone out. Type a word, a sentence, a paragraph, and then go with the flow. Also, I think a daily goal is needed to get yourself motivated. I don't have a wordcount goal, but I do have a page goal. I always aim for three pages a day. If I'm feeling iffy and morose (there are such days), I have to at least write one page or one sentence. The important thing is you have to write.
This seems to be a common problem. Novels are not movies. If you're stuck at this (infantile) stage of learning how to write, you need to read more, watch less TV, and practice short stories. Critiquing in the workshop would be a plus. I personally would not even worry about a novel yet.
