Granted You are now the proud owner of a neverendng, supply of non-domestic beer. However, it is neverending because the glass you drink it from keeps automatically refilling with non-domesticated beer. Now you have a neverending flooding problem. Shattering the glass or dumping it somewhere does no good since it is configured to keep reapearing at your domicile so that your supply never ends. Sorry. I wish I could sing like Mario Lanza
Granted, you now have the voice of Mario Lanza and can sing any of his songs with perfect ease. However, as Lanza's songs are his property, you are now at the center of a copyright lawsuit. I wish Florida was stuck in it's seventy degree winters for the rest of forever.
Granted! However, that made the weather even more ideal for the invasive boa constrictor population of the Evergades and they are now nipping you as they emerge from your toilete bowl. I wish I was God!
Wish granted, mortal. However, the position has already been filled, and since you cannot possibly fathom the reality of your request, it will be for one day, and your experience will be limited to what you comprehend, as you are. Therefore, you will wander the infinite Void, as the Highest of The High, revelling in your own glorious magnificence, unable to decide among all the possibilities of your infinite power, bearing the burden of all that may be known, seeing all that will be, until it is stripped away in the cosmic instant. The burden of what you have seen will remain with you. Have a nice day! I wish for a mind-wipe, and care not and never know what comes after. (ETA: Oops, found some mental-floss! Nevermind! As you were. Carry on)
Granted, however, that's the same thing you wished for yesterday. And the day before that, and the day before that... How long do we have to play this game with you? <wipe> I wish for someone to come and clean and organize my apartment for a nominal fee.
Granted. However, the person who cleans and organizes your apartment has a very different idea of cleanliness and organization than you do. As a result, the apartment looks far worse than it ever did before, and your most valuable and important items have been securely locked into a safe that you were not given the combination to. To top it all, the person who did this work is untraceable. I wish to live in the forest.
Granted. However, as you failed to specify the conditions and which forest, you have been dropped into the Amazon rainforest with no tools for survival and no weapons to protect yourself with. A predator has killed and eaten you in less than a week. I wish I lived in the fantasy world I have created.
Granted! However, the many discontented denizans who are at the bottom of your fantasy world''s pecking order blamed you for their miserable situation, gave you a fair trial and then hung you by your toes from a branch of the highest jub-jub tree they could find. On hot, and humid summer starry nights, your high-pitched yowls for help can be heard for miles in that enchanted realm. I wish I were the owner of a lucrative and prosperous pillow-stuffing factory.
Granted. However, after an unfortunate cluster of mercy killings in nursing homes where the victims were smothered by pillows, the Brady campaign has added your product to the list of inanimate objects of which they are afraid, requiring you to spend an increasing percentage of your lucre on public relations. I wish I lived somewhere I could play golf year-around.
Granted. However, without the mediating influence of winter, your obsession with golf grows to extremely unhealthy proportions. Within a few years, you spend your life's savings on season passes, clubs, and little visors. You spend every waking moment at the course. Hopeless of your recovery, your family and friends abandon you, your long-suffering boss finally lets you go, and you end your days in a gutter muttering incoherently about your handicap. I wish I were athletic.
Granted, however as you failed to specify HOW you achieved athleticism, you have been selected for the drug route. A combination of steroids, performance enhancers, metabolism boosters, and hunger blockers has reduced you to an emaciated skeleton with the strength of the hulk and the metabolism of the sun. You die of starvation in *checks watch*... fifteen seconds. I wish the Eragon movie wasn't absolute trash.
Granted! However, the movie is now not trash in an alternate universe to which you have no access. So whatever benefit you had been expecting from Eragon not being trash is unfortunately not within your reach. I wish I had a time machine.
As good fortune would have it, the Amazon rainforest is where I want to go someday. I don't mind dying there, no matter what kills me.
Ah, let's see... Wish granted, however, it's a bit like The Langoliers. Humanity is trapped moving forward at one second per second, so if you go back, you go to a dead and empty world that can't support your existence for long. However, if you go forward faster than the above-mentioned rate, you end up in a place that hasn't fully formed yet and can't support your existence at all and you just poof and you're gone. I wish I'd had a V-8.
Granted: However, the can of of V-8 vegetable juice we sent you had been on the shelf for so long that it had rusted and the rust caused esophagal abrasions which needed immediate medical attention. You are now permanently stuck with a rasping,metalic-sounding voice. We did also grant you a V8 automobile engine. However, ignition, after fifty-five failures, finally set it aflame and the damages to your garage were far greater than the V8 engine was worth. Wish I knew how to make ice cream.
Not a problem. There are loads of tutorial videos all over the internet, books on Amazon or at your local library, the information is almost on your doorstep. The problem is once you learn how, you still won’t have the ingredients or equipment you need to make anything more than a mess of your wife’s kitchen, and when she gets home she’s going to beat you half to death for leaving it for her to clean up. I wish... I wish I knew what to wish for.
Granted, you now have a solid wish. However it is only a wish, and cannot be granted because the fairy died of old age before you made a decision. I wish snakes weren't just tails that have faces.
granted. It is now raining sideways. Welcome to Florida during hurricane season. I wish small spiders weren't so terrifying.
Granted. Now they're even more terrifying because they started wearing tiny little clown costumes. I wish the ice cream shops were open this early in the season.
Granted! You no longer consider small spiders terrifying. Now you consider only large spiders horrifying. Unfortunately , and for some inexplicably mysterious reasons, all the spiders in your vicinity that were small have moved out and the big ones have moved in. I wish I could have friends
