My main antagonist is an aristocrat (in title) who is arrogant and thinks of himself that he is entitled to become the world leader. To enforce his style I want to make him speak in wordy phrases and "impressive" language (uncommon words and such). Question: would this strategy be appropriate, indeed strengthening this character, or would it simply be discarded as overdoing/poor writing? (i.a.w.: Should I worry about an editor taking the red pencil?)
You are welcome to see scenes I have written with my Abbot and get your own opinion - PM me if you want them. I make his language grandiose/verbose etc and he is a much loved character of mine. I also have a malaprop who tries to 'talk posh' but gets it wrong. I love characters like this they have been used before my brain isn't thinking of any right now lol
Often sentence structure and the way of address is a lot more important than just using long words. "You, boy, get my coat," says as much about the character as a paragraph of thesaurus waffle, and none of those words are more than a syllable long.
Yes, that grandiose style of talking can be a key characteristic, and make make your character quite enjoyable. I personally find those type of characters quite intriguing. V for Vendetta comes to mind.
Fowery verbiage (particularly out it's element) from a character adds a cool dynamic, can be used as a dramatic device to add an element of comedic relief in a serious (non comedy) piece An example: Although the Japanese Vampire has the much needed information,his Elizabethan is so beguiling,the inhabitants of the Memphis hood are conflicted about approaching him with a question, they feel as if they need sub-titles .....ya dig An Idea: Can you tag his speeches in a way that they continue but whomever he is speaking to has tuned out long ago ? Show less but expose the fact there was more , a whole lot more ,?
I agree - I use mine for comic effect although i did end up with a malaprop and my grandiose speaker in same scene once that was fun to write but time consuming.
Using unusual words and long phrases will only be dismissed as poor writing if that is indeed what it is. Nine times out of ten, writers trying to impress or to simulate impressive speech fail--because they are actually incapable of using language at the necessary level. Either the dreaded red pencil cuts a swathe through it all, or readers who know better switch off.
It can work very well if rightly deployed. Be careful not to take it too far; the reader should not need a dictionary to translate his speeches! I work for an old-school consultant doctor, who is close to retirement, and he uses words all the time that I have no idea what they mean. He does it on purpose, as I am foreign and he tries to catch me out with using words I don't know (in a funny nice way). Maybe you have someone in your life that does these sort of things that can either help or proofread what you have written, though don't forget to have someone 'less educated' read it as well to make sure it is understandable. I love words and even if I will never ever use them myself, I like to hear them and learn new ones all the time. I am probably not making that much sense (I do tend to waffle)... but I hope you get the drift. A. )
Thanks for all your replies. Really encouraging! My aristocrat uses words as 'the hoi polloi' and 'sub rosa', as well as shows some rude arrogant behaviour (such as: interrupting others frequently; looking down on others). That delivers the message, I guess. With 'wordy phrases' I had in mind to use more words than simply necessary when my aristocrat speaks (e.g., "a great deal of" instead of "much"); repititive redundancy such as "serious danger" instead of simply saying "danger") and more difficult words than necessary ("decelerating" instead of "slowing down").
Watch the sit-com Keeping Up Appearances. Hyacinth Bucket (sorry, Bouquet) is a master of derogatory and wordy language.
