Worst names you've ever created.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ItzAmber, Apr 10, 2021.

  1. TK

    TK Active Member

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    I once tried to name a side character Scooter. What was I thinking?

    That name sounds so dumb
     
  2. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Good name for a side-character, to be honest. :)

    One of the names I remember making was ‘Josiah McCornstalk’. :p
     
  3. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    Not gonna lie, Bionicarrot kinda slaps. I'll buy it.
     
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  4. TK

    TK Active Member

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    Scooter is a bit unrelated to the actual character. (which is just a blind kid with a hat)

    That's why I though it was dumb. Also, Josiah McCornstalk is pretty cheesy as a name.
     
  5. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Still, I’ve heard worse.

    And I’m keeping the cheesy name, I’m sorry. :p
     
  6. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Can’t think of any of my own but I once tried to read a short story by Philip K Dick that had a main character with a ridiculous name. So ridiculous I couldn’t read the story. Unfortunately I can’t remember what it was. Something like Horse Shlong or summat.

    Found it. It was from the novel Valis (not a short story) and his name was Horselover Fat o_O
     
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  7. peachalulu

    peachalulu Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Sounds like the perfect foil for Bunnicula
     
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  8. Robert Musil

    Robert Musil Comparativist Contributor

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    Mondo Cane is an old Italian movie, but if it's not also a name of a villain in some Cormac McCarthy-ish setting, by God I'm going to make it one.
     
  9. TK

    TK Active Member

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    Don't worry, I don't think it's bad, just that it's pretty cheesy. haha
     
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  10. TK

    TK Active Member

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    If I may add, I once made a typical run of the mill ignored bully character for a story way long ago, and named him Jack Polar. That name is too radical to ever be used.

    I shall never speak of Jack Polar again.
     
  11. Catriona Grace

    Catriona Grace Mind the thorns Contributor Contest Winner 2022

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    And his girlfriend, Jill Equatorial.
     
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  12. TK

    TK Active Member

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    And his dad, John West.
     
  13. Catriona Grace

    Catriona Grace Mind the thorns Contributor Contest Winner 2022

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    And his daughter who kept her maiden name as well as her husband's name: Mae Polar Opposite.
     
  14. Gravy

    Gravy aka Edgy McEdgeFace Contributor Game Master

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    Eddie Noah.
     
  15. Vaughan Quincey

    Vaughan Quincey Active Member

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    One of my first characters' name was Chris Carter.
    To add insult to injury, 'Carter' was a (quite hot) girl.
     
  16. FFBurwick

    FFBurwick Active Member

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    I name creatures of fiction my stories. I have been doing that in my writing a long while. It often is with a compound words used. Often this is with 'giant' or 'monster' used with them. But comparatively recently I am aware that many of my compound words might be used in other ways by others. I had a whalefish named. With looking online as I do now to check for things, I can see there is a fish named whalefish already and it is not what I had meant for the fictional creature. Where I can edit I have been going back to change it to monsterfish. But indeed, there are a few various fish called monster fish now.
     
  17. Naja Noir

    Naja Noir Member

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    One of my game characters is named, Iilillah. (I think I spelled it right) I'm not even sure how to pronounce it. Was going for a variation of lilah but they were all taken, had to keep adding lol. Oh well, it's her name no matter.

    The last name of one of my main characters in a story is Everson. I dislike it, too generic.
     
  18. J.T. Woody

    J.T. Woody Book Witch Contributor

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    middle school, i made a character that was a Dodo bird that was resurrected in the future.
    His name was "Dude-O the Dodo" (or "Dudo" the Dodo).
    but he had the stereotypical skateboarder/surfer dude personality. hence "Dude" in his name
     
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  19. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    My friends and I tried to do a Thieves' World style shared universe book in high school. I named my character "Arran ba V'Nith," with the first name being pronounced "ah-RAHN", the "ba" meaning "priest of," and "V'Nith" being his deity because it ain't fantasy if there ain't random apostrophes sprinkled through the proper names.

    OTOH, in my WIP, my MC ("Seeing how the VP is such a VIP, don't you think we should keep the PC on the QT lest the VC find out and make us all KIA?" was originally named Mike Schmidt, following Ian Fleming's idea of giving James Bond the most prosaic name ever. However, it just wasn't working for me, so now he goes by "Cal." Which is a nickname, short for Cornelius Aloysius Lamplighter III. I like it, dunno if it'll work out or not, but it's certainly a name.
     
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  20. Rath Darkblade

    Rath Darkblade Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2024

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    Don't forget his sister with a psychiatric disorder ... Di Polar. (All right, I'm going ...)

    I enjoyed the "Good Morning, Vietnam" reference, but I'm not so sure about "Cal". (It might work if he was a man of few words, in which case you might give him another nickname: "Silent Cal"). ;)

    As for me ... when I was very, very much younger, and writing my very first fantasy fan-fiction, I named my hero "Paravan Stromgard". (What was I thinking? :confused:) It was a wild and very, very silly parody of generally-accepted fantasy tropes, starting with the fact that Paravan was a recovering alcoholic ... who continually saved in spite of being drunk (and once saved the land by intentionally getting drunk).

    I told you it was a parody. :oops:

    But even that name pales into insignificance compared with his one-time adventuring buddy and wannabe barbarian. His parents were apparently big in punctuation, because they named him Colonius Dudleyius III ... or Colon for short. :rolleyes:

    And if that's not bad enough, they changed their mind and named him Semius Colonius Dudleyius III.

    That's right. Semi Colon the Barbarian. (But you can call him Dudley. :rolleyes: I told you it was silly). ;)
     
  21. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Ah, the "Cal" is short for his initials. Cornelius Aloysius Lamplighter. I'll include something about that having come about in elementary school when nobody could say his name so they just used the initials instead. I have a friend named James Eric [REDACTED] whose had one of those 70s/80s shirts back in the day with the iron-on letters on it which read "J. Eric." He is, to this day, known by one and all as "Jeric."
     
  22. Night Herald

    Night Herald The Fool Contributor

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    My latest project has plenty of silly names, but I think the cake is pillaged by a particular barbarian clan with some novel naming conventions.

    Lemon Tart the Blood-Guzzling Hewer of Foes, Chief-King of the Corpse Marshes. He doesn't actually guzzle blood, being more partial to a hot toddy, but a Chief-King needs to cultivate a certain image.

    He has two children (that are mentioned so far):

    Cherry Pie the Bone-Shattering Hell Bitch, Scourge of the Shrieking Fjord. She doesn't actually shatter bones, but practices BJJ (Barbarian Joint-Jerking) and sometimes her foes don't tap in time. She did scourge the Shrieking Fjord, though, a little bit.

    Her brother, Blackberry Trifle the Loincloth Wetter, Away-Runner of the Bloodwoods, has a not entirely deserved reputation for being a coward. He just happened to spill a horn of mead down himself that one time, but try explaining that to an ale hall full of axe-wielding muscleheads. And he didn't run away at the Bloodwoods, he just got lost during a heroic flanking attempt.

    Quite lovely folks, all three of them. Cherry Pie is a real sweetheart.
     
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  23. b_d_charles

    b_d_charles Member

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    I have a bit of a penchant for silly names. The Story of Echo has a glut of them. Here's a couple of what I think are rather daft ones but that I do quite like, inspired by kids' stories: Humpty Doughty and Noddy Stock. Both are exaggerated characters. Noddy is a block of a man, perhaps-mid-forties, in good shape, with a stonechip grin, militantly optimistic about the war he finds himself in. No-one knows where he came from, whether he travelled with the others or whether someone dug him out of the rocky ground He is baffled by people who don't love rugged outdoor pursuits. Humpty Doughty is a youngish chap, stoutly built, early twenties, an old schoolmate of Ixawod's. While not precisely egg-shaped himself, he does promote egg-images and other ovoid forms in the perceivings of any who treat with him, and he carries an egg around in his hand (has done ever since being dropped on his head as a child, poor bugger). Rumoured to possess the power to turn minds to scrambled mush with his babbled words.
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2025 at 10:50 AM
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